¯\_(ツ)_/¯

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

The object comparisons are things of an equivalent weight, not things you can cut with the swords. Just saying so to preemptively stop cursed comments.

Like a claymore it takes two hands to properly wield a baby

tHERE ARE MEMES IN THOSE HIEROGLYPHICS

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

“Westerners are fond of the saying ‘Life isn’t fair.’ Then, they end in snide triumphant: ‘So get used to it!’ What a cruel, sadistic notion to revel in! What a terrible, patriarchal response to a child’s budding sense of ethics. Announce to an Iroquois, ‘Life isn’t fair,’ and her response will be: ‘Then make it fair!’” –Barbara Alice Mann

[ID: panel from Calvin and Hobbes in which Calvin’s mom says, “Life could be worse, Calvin” and Calvin responds, “Life could be a lot better, too!”]

this is the single best description i have ever heard for a cat

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

someone made a terrible youtube video searching for the source of this dog picture like it's lost media and he on-screen scrolls by a live tumblr link to this post before claiming i deleted my account, pulling up a wayback machine archived page, and then lying about contacting my ex boyfriend for more information