Forever Ape - Experts Only!

$10 budget Raiders of the Lost Ark

meghstie i'm going to separate you into your base components

I mean, they don't call her Queens of Odor for nothing... 😏

guards, draw and quarter this man

messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the adventuring party will still be like "waaa its a shapeshifter waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the earth and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.

they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak

how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

Happy TDOV! Here's my shameless money begging link: Ko-Fi

yeah okay ill reblog that

Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas

if you think about it, the social contract of the Car largely mirrors antiquated notions of patriarchial chivalry... the Big, Strong Automobile, which inherently has the power to maim and kill, must yield the right of way to the misogynized pedestrian, as a show of the Automobile's power & potential lethality. "ladies first," all in a world where more and more space is carved out day by day for the Automobile... now, contrast this with the locomotive, where all passengers are equal... thus you can see that not having a car is emasculating, having to ride public transportation with other people is emasculating, and women are even derided as being poorer drivers. Men do not like the train because it renders them effectively homosexual; they thrive on the upper end of inequality and feel like nothing without it. Taking the train is essentially lesbian frotting

Wait youre cooking

Printing out old Mapquest directions I found that are supposed to take me to the G Spot