Things I Think are Awesome

i think if i asked peter thiel for 500 million dollars, and told him that my business plan was to spend 499 million of that on oil futures, and the remaining 1 million ordering the entire stock of pizza, burgers, fries, shakes, jamba juices, schitzels, fucking wetzels pretzels, the whole lot, within 50 miles of the pentagon, just to see if i could blow up the pentagon pizza index enough to move global oil markets 0.2% and recoup my losses... i think that if i asked him that, in those exact words, he would give me 1 billion dollars just to see if i could do it twice. and i would try. god forgive me i would try.

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: #sometimes I like to think I'm smart #but I could never come up with something this incredible /End ID]

All these tourists having a great time at the World Cup isn't surprising b/c the first rule of America is that this place rules if you have money to blow and it's a nightmare if you don't. The prohibitively high cost of attending the World Cup filtered out all the ppl who don't have money so all the people who actually made it to the U.S. are basically guaranteed to have fun

America hates the broke and woke and so every rich chud from abroad who comes over here goes home singing our praises. Tale as old as time.

its cool that sometimes people try to have one kid and accidentally have two kids. flavorful. more things should work like that. get married and suddenly there's a second wife. pass the interview and end up with two jobs. etc. keep em guessing

I believe that if I bumped into a neanderthal on the street I would not recognize them as belonging to a different species. I would say "Ah, yes, a normal human man with big eyebrows and a wide nose, many such cases" and go about my business.

The size and mobility of living things just do not track with ease of care at all. Fish? Pretty stable, stay where you put them. Incredibly complicated care, major investment, huge undertaking of regular maintenance, giant commitment. Cat, kinda goes anywhere, usually larger than fish. Maximum ease of care, set out food, pick up poop, keep inside, enjoy. Plant? Just sits there. Weirdly complicated about every little detail from daylight to pH, longer commitment than fish, requires regular checks, lots of work. Completely stupid amount of difficulty from the poster child of not doing anything. Babies, much less mobile than anything, often smaller than the cat, same thing a cat needs, food, poop removal, but suddenly it's a five dimensional game of psychological warfare against yourself and what kind of memory of parenting you're going to be 25 years into the future for a bag of screams that can't sit up. Unbearable amount of time investment and care commitment. Don't give people a baby for a gift, they'll go steal their own if they want one.

add that to your trivia and pursue it

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

bugs bunny is not real