the most shameless woman this town has ever seen

the most memorable part of today’s soccer game for me was when they showed Matt Damon in the stands and the announcer said “Brad Pitt is here — oh wait that’s Matt Damon” and profusely apologized

I am an insane swiftie, but I am not a “notices that taylor swift changed a random Spotify canvas” level of swiftie. more power to them but I am not that dedicated.

Trader Joe’s sour confetti chews, you have bewitched me body and soul…

🫥

has anyone else noticed how male athletes with long hair love to wear their locks down and loose in the wind. female athletes have their shit tied UP. nothing touching the neck, not a strand out of place. But I guess men prefer to feel pretty, practicality be damned.

the World Cup final being 0-0 at halftime is exactly why I as a sports agnostic have a hard time locking in to soccer

thinking about when I was learning Italian in college and I kept wanting to refer to la coppa mondiale (world cup) as la guerra mondiale (world war)

is there any better feeling on earth than burying your face in your cat’s tummy while she purrs

theoretically if you had made a breakfast reservation at 9 because your brother and his new girlfriend were staying with you for the weekend and they said they wanted to get breakfast at 8 and you respectfully said I don’t get up that early on saturdays but I can do 9, and then you got up early to get ready but at 8:45 they hadn’t even started getting ready yet, theoretically, how pissed would you be?