ringmaster of the shitshow

When I suggest people go to the doctor for something a lot of them seem to assume I don’t know what it’s like to have doctors that don’t listen to you. Yeah I do actually. I still think you should go to the doctor.

She was trying to look behind the counter where we keep Gold Jewelry and Gucci Purses for pokemon cards

Imagine hating me when all I’ve ever done is be a hateful mean cruel spiteful fucking cunt to you

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

also the sidepart

am I unforgivable or is it just thursday

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

truly an honor and a privilege getting to witness everyone's first time in public ever every single time i go grocery shopping

Adding "you would be friends with Hitler if he liked vocaloid" to that same list as "y'all would fuck a fence if it was white"