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@yuyurana
my bad. turns off my perpetual motion dog catapulting machine

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my notifications are once again devolving into a spirited debate about the ethics of actions that could potentially make someone uncomfortable, and at risk of sounding like someone about to get a lot of irate anons I think we're frankly giving way too to much moral weight to hypothetical discomfort
the thing about discomfort is that it's an extremely nebulous category that can be triggered by virtually anything and that's far too broad a category to have any inherent moral quality to it. like. my mom was mad uncomfortable when I stopped shaving. that didn't mean I was doing violence against my mom it just meant she needed to get over herself. many such cases it must be said.
there's not a single example I could give that's better than this
Couple + Sibling/relative third wheel is honestly an S-tier trio dynamic and I wish we saw more of this in media.
"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."
"Yo."
Bonus points if the non-related half of the couple is just as committed to keeping the third wheel around as the related half.
"Isn't it weird that your brother in law is always hanging around?"
"You've got a problem with Andrew?"
I really donât want to open this can of worms because Tumblr hath no fury like people called out on their political performativeness but it is literally driving me up the wall to watch people react to Serkisâ âkeep Tolkien whiteâ commentary by insisting twice as hard that Tolkien would descend down to earth and dropkick the entire Republican party to hell or whatever, just because they want to ensure that a piece of media they enjoy isnât seen as being morally impure. Case in point: I have seen at least five instances of Tolkienâs âI hate apartheidâ valedictorian address being used as a âcounterâ to Serkis being racist, including by actual news outlets.
Except itâs only ever the âI hate apartheidâ line thatâs shared, and not the actual quote in its full context. Because here it is:
If we consider what Merton College and what the Oxford School of English owes to the Antipodes, to the Southern Hemisphere, especially to scholars born in Australia and New Zealand, it may well be felt that it is only just that one of them should now ascend an Oxford chair of English. Indeed it may be thought that justice has been delayed since 1925. There are of course other lands under the Southern Cross. I was born in one; though I do not claim to be the most learned of those who have come hither from the far end of the Dark Continent. But I have the hatred of apartheid in my bones; and most of all I detest the segregation or separation of Language and Literature. I do not care which of them you think White.
Which is to say. This isnât exactly the antiracist quote of the century, to say the least. This is a white South Africa born man and a white Australian shaking hands and going âomg we relateâ and expressing what is a very, very mild âsegregation is not greatâ opinion in order to convey his thoughts on an academic subject, ie the confluence of language and literature. Using race to make a point about his own subject of interest, in his own interest, which is, amusingly enough, what a lot of ostensibly well meaning progressive seem to be doing.
I also think that some of the general surprise around âwhat do you mean large swathes of the Tolkien fandom are incredibly conservative!?â in lib/left Tolkien fandom is the result of a tendency in said parts of the fandom to transpose oneâs own progressiveness onto Tolkien and turn a blind eye to things like, say, the Shire being a very specifically mid-century British racist construct that is very, very clear in its politics, often going so far as to insist itâs anarchist or an ideal society or whatever the fuck⌠and then getting really Pikachu-meme âbut theyâre misreading itâ every single time a conservative explains exactly what it is about the legendarium that they really love, and get surprised when someone uses the Shire being a racist construct to do more racism. It is 2026 let us do away with âI donât see colourâ interpretations of media, I beg. Nobody is cancelling you for enjoying a book that is not kind to race. Most of the books I love are not kind to race.
"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing

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so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown
BREAKFAST
i think we have done ourselves and our communities and our communication skills a massive disservice by flattening so many experiences down to "trauma" or "harm" and equating "feeling uncomfortable" with "being unsafe."
i recognize that this didn't happen in a vacuum, and a lot of us are responding to a culture that doesn't take our pain or discomfort seriously and has denied or downplayed real trauma for generations.
however, i strongly recommend trying out some of these framings and phrases in order to develop some healthier, more resilient understandings of ourselves and our relationships:
I would prefer not to
I had a bad experience
I don't like that
I would need more support to be able to do that
I'm not in the mood
That bothers me
I worry about [specific negative outcome]
I'm not up for that today
I'd rather do/talk about something else
I'm not the right audience for that
I need more information first
That doesn't seem worth the time/energy
not every personal preference or unpleasant emotion must be linked to a psychiatric diagnosis or a trauma trigger. constantly interpreting your experiences through this pathologized lens is not good for anyone.
if you are surrounded by people who do not take your "i'd rather not" seriously unless you can cite DSM chapter and verse, you have shitty friends and need to hang out with different people.
also, no matter who you are or how traumatized you are, you do not need to avoid every discomfort. it is true that for someone with severe trauma, a ptsd flashback can derail their whole day and cause genuine physical and psychological suffering. however. this is different than "someone mentioned a tv show that my shitty ex liked" or "someone at an event made me feel socially awkward." we all go through negative experiences, and convincing yourself that you are so damaged that the only safe way to live is by demanding protection from anything that could make you feel bad is extremely unhealthy.
you need to be able to function as a human being even when the world includes things that are unpleasant or even painful. if you train your brain to experience everything you don't like as a "trauma trigger," you will create a reality for yourself where you are constantly under threat and develop an identity as someone who cannot manage any situation not completely under your control. you are capable of feeling sad, startled, annoyed, offended, disgusted, or nervous. i promise.
and if you truly are dealing with trauma symptoms on a level that genuinely disrupt your daily functioning and ability to maintain healthy relationships, that is a signal that you need to start working on your own healing. your goal should be to find ways to reduce the impact these symptoms have, not to just give more language and weight to them so they can dictate more and more of who you are and how you move through the world.
Just wanted to add, if you donât have a psychiatric diagnosis, avoiding any and all negative emotions is a good way to get one. The world is full of unpleasant things and we all need to learn how to deal with them. Otherwise youâll shut yourself away not just from the negative but also from all the beautiful, amazing, and joyful experiences the world has to offer.
"Why is no one talking about....?!"
We have talked about it, and we are still talking about it. Come join the conversation.
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tiredâthat will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" taskâbecause the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
Sorry for liking a bunch of your random comments on a three year old post. I'm bored and avoiding drawing, so I hope you're having a good day!
No worries, thatâs basically what tumblr is for right? Hope you have a good day, too.

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I'm remembering a Tumblr post from years ago about Adderall restrictions, and there was a very young person who said that her father abused Adderall for over a decade and destroyed his family, therefore Adderall should have some restrictions, because people who don't need it would abuse it.
Except that you could say that about many many many things.
Restricting patients' access to medication based on the potential for abuse and misuse has never worked, nobody likes it, it causes more and new problems, and addicts need to be treated safely and with compassion.
In my experience Tumblr is deeply reactionary on a personal level. If something bad happens to a Tumblr user (whether it was trivial or truly horrible), they will go full blast on that one thing all gas no brakes.
Whatever would have helped them personally in that one situation is now the ontologically correct way of doing things for all of society and no they will not stop to consider the implications of that thank you very much, this is obviously the correct⢠way to run the entire world actually.
If you disagree, you're bigoted and you hate them. If you make a kind or gentle suggestion, you're attacking and bullying them. If you relate with a story, you're lying and they had worse.
I love this place, I love you people, but wow do I feel like I need several disclaimers, a caveat, and a footnote with almost every post I make.
Nuance, Tumblr, please have it.
people hate it when you say things like 'this policy that was mostly meant to hurt [marginalised group] also sometimes hurts [other, less marginalised group]" which is fair bc it can definitely come across as 'who cares if those subhumans get hurt, the problem is when it happens to real people'. but unfortunately a fact about being a marginalised group is that it makes it much cheaper politically to hurt you.
immigration officers arresting citizens is not worse than immigration officers arresting noncitizens, but turns out weirdly enough 'citizens' is a category with a lot more political power than 'noncitizens' and so it's strategically useful to get them opposed to immigration enforcement. so that might affect which things you talk about how much.
I don't like that this is how it works either but most people seem primarily driven by their own interests, so to persuade them to align with you it helps to frame your goals in terms of how they benefit them rather than how they benefit you. Most people don't really care about you, especially if you're in a minority group they consider to be removed from their daily life.
Please go learn how time works.
I want to boost everything this person has said and add on.
The reason I call myself a tomboy now, despite it being seen as a childish word and having had someone swear at me over it because âtHeReâS nO suCh thInG as BoY thInGs anD giRL thIngS sHut uPâ is because I couldnât call myself that or be like that when I was a kid. It was seen as a negative thing and I was already bullied enough. âLooking like a boyâ was the worst thing that could happen to a girl.
And Iâm not even 26 yet. We arenât talking 30+ years ago, we are talking 2000s and even 2010s. Itâs only since trans people have become more accepted in the past few years that gender nonconformity has too.
And the people who helped me accept my gender nonconformity more than anyone else? Were trans people. They taught me, âthereâs nothing wrong with how you feel. Youâre still a valid woman no matter what you wear, how you have your hair or what youâre into â¤ď¸â
And donât even get me started on how people treat gender nonconforming men. JK Rowling has a lot of nerve to be like âuwu boys can wear dresses and only us gendercrits accept that!â when she has, even in recent works, made femininity in men a negative trait, as well as making masculinity in women a negative trait also.
A lot of people still donât accept gnc people even now. Just last year I had someone tell me theyâd never let their daughter âdress like a boyâ, and Iâm always terrified to walk into a bathroom in case the next JK Rowling is in there, sees my gender expression and pepper sprays me or worse.
âThereâs no such thing as boy things and girl things.â I donât need to be told that and Iâm sure 99% of trans people also donât need to be told that. Tell that to the society that hates us both instead of actively encouraging that hate.
Gonna point out the og tweet thread is now full of terfs saying that life was better for gay people in the fucking 80s, that it was super easy for them to be a tomboy in the 70s and 80s and therefore it must have been that way for everyone, and that it was totally acceptable to be a gnc gay person in the 80s! đ¤Ş
Theyâre rewriting history as we speak to try to argue trans acceptance is making it harder to be gay and gnc for youth than it was to be gay in the 80s. This is a blatant lie.
The fucking 80s??? As in, âaids crisisâ 80s?? As in, âthe government actively avoided funding research to help gay peopleâ 80s????
Man I knew terfism was brain rot but I didnât think it was this bad.
Actually I'm not going to just keep this in the tags
The feared sting-ray
The elusive and mysterious StingRug

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Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool
i am going to eat my own entire skin
Reblog if you were born in the 1900's.