balls

i write and illustrate, but my true commitment is to pure shitposting. if you come across a seemingly well-sourced quote attributed to jrr tolkien, usually of the scatological nature (eg: elves don’t shit but they probably should) but not always, linked to my username, please note the following: jrr tolkien did not say that. i did. it was born from my ass.

about me: i'm 28, mostly based in the UK. i write litfic irl and work in humanitarian advocacy. you can call me z, ziz, balls or whatever combination of the three.

writing: i’m timelessutterances on ao3 — i’m currently posting prayers to broken stone, my silmarillion au set in postcolonial india. i have a meta tag for this fic with art, theory, character notes etc. you can find my other writing on ao3 or on my writing tag.

I’m blaming Comrade Maedhros for this.

He has infected me.

This must be difficult. And so I invite you to think: imagine being Comrade Maedhros. Everywhere he looks there is Godzilla. No, not Godzilla, but a lack of Godzilla. Every small dog is a dog that could be wearing a Godzilla costume. Every big dog is a few breeding programmes away from being Godzilla.

Every city he comes across is a city Godzilla could have flattened in a perfect world. Like Exeter, Devon. Every time he sees Finarfin, he cannot help but think: Godzilla would find you a tasty little snack. Whenever he looks at Finnu, he thinks: o to be gay and alive in the shadow of Godzilla. Everywhere he looks, a Godzilla-shaped hole in his life.

Picture me, coughing up this image like a particularly wretched hairball on your bed.

Okay have a blessed day, bye bye!

what the fuck

i can’t stop screaming crying throwing up IS THAT MEANT TO BE ARWEN BRO WHY THE FUCK DOES IT LOOK SO MUCH LIKE ARWEN you know what idk why the fuck elrond was so arsey about her getting with aragorn because CLEARLY IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE.

I couldn't tell you what tf half the characters are meant to be doing in the Silmarillon (or what it's even about other than Feanor (who exists) doing something wrong and his son's being cursed or something and they're after some jewels for some reason and Beren and Luthien are there) but damn if they aren't being rotated in my brain at supersonic speeds.

The only character I'd even heard of before (other than Elrond, Aragon, and all who are in LOTR) was Glorfindel ,only due to a different fanfic shipping him with some guy called Erestor. (Not the main point of the fic, they're side characters). When Gilgalad first appeared I confused him for Glorfindel until I realized that Glorfindel was a separate character and his bf. I couldn't tell you if it's Fingon or Finrod who's the dance teacher, and if his dad is Finarfin or Fingolfin (seriously wtf was up with that family's names).

But damn if your fic doesn't have some of the most beautiful prose and I've ever read, period. Might even motivate me to finish reading the LOTR book and then the silm and the other one about Bilbo. As a fellow(? Idk if ur Muslim Ig ur not religious? Neither am I sort of) indian sort-of Muslim it really spoke to me. I wasn't expecting a fanfic about characters I barely knew to encapsulate my feelings towards India as a country.

!!!!! Thank you so much! Also yes, am not particularly religious so Indian sort-of Muslim is the best description and frankly I do think there’s so little written from and for that specific background especially in the realm of ‘novel of a nation’ unless you’re going the Rushdie route (which I am not…) that this v much did make me happy thank youuuu 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️

And honestly yeah I don’t know if it makes it ‘worse’ as a fanfic but Prayers definitely is one of those things where the ‘ideal’ reading experience obviously involves Silm etc knowledge etc etc but it can definitely be read standalone and I know many people have as well… also I am SO obsessed with your description of the Silm because like 😭😭😭 you’re right ngl. That is pretty much what it is 😭😭😭 also doubly obsessed with the random Glorestor mention because I admit that was also my own route into the fandom… well, that and my brief yet intense period of shipping Elrond and his butler or whatever the fuck Lindir was meant to be in those films ☠️

and that only getting murkier with the third level ie intracommunity ‘clocking’ where your own people increasingly clock you as a guy but With Something Queer Clearly Going On™️ and the tiptoeing and assumptions on that front too… and the fourth layer wherein you’re very aware that the ‘clocking’ of someone as being part of a specific religious group has very little basis in any fact and is just a form of skull measuring exercise based on colourist/other biases both the west™️ and the subcontinent + the middle east hold and propagate in multiple registers

MAEDHROS: MERETH ADERTHAD

very cropped and thus safe for eating at work commission WIP, featuring Maedhros and a tripartite piercing situation in a semi-realistic style, where I leave you to guess where the third one is. very much still a WIP but i won’t be posting the final uncropped version of this one so feast while you can on what you can!

anyway, really obsessed with him having very slow growing hair, hence it being in this state at this point in his life, but i know he still sleeps with curlers in. also pattern background creds @peasant-player 😌☝🏻