Yo

By being a jerk, you're actively making your life harder and less pleasant. This is because we're a social species, and we do this thing called "mirroring" usually unconsciously, so people tend to reflect the behavior you put out, back to you.

Also you can intentionally be kinder with people, and they'll be kinder to you.

It was a busy night, and apparently the bar and kitchen were both running a little behind. Mid conversation , a woman strode up to Steff and his friend and aggressively said "I get that you're having a nice time, guys, but some of us are still waiting on drinks, so do you think you could do your jobs?"

Before either could answer, the bar manager materialised.

"Well, he's a glass collector and he's one of the acts on tonight," she said politely, pointing them out. "So, neither of them can help you. But I'm the manager, can I help?"

("I specified that," the manager told Steff afterwards, "because if she's going to be a dick, I'm going to waste her time by telling her why she's wrong and has just been stupid before I help her.")

"Yes," said the woman, now gearing up to get good and annoyed to compensate for her embarrassment. "We've been waiting for our drinks for over half an hour! This is ridiculous!"

"I'm sorry about that," says the manager. "We're super busy tonight, as you can see. What's your order number? I'll check its status."

The woman gave it. The manager looked it up.

"Ah," said the manager. "I see the problem - these were ordered twelve minutes ago, but there's currently a twenty minute wait, as you can see on the board. I'll see what we can do to speed it up, though, and we'll get to it as soon as we can."

The woman grumbled and left.

The manger put her one lower in the queue.

Five minutes later, a second woman from a different group arrived.

"Sorry, it's very possible I'm being a bother and you'll get to it soon," she smiled. "But I just wondered if there's an update on our order? It's been a while."

"I'm so sorry," the manager said, "we're super busy. Let me check for you... Yes, you're still in the queue. We'll get to you as soon as possible, shouldn't be long now."

"Oh!" says the woman. "No, no worries, I just thought I'd double check to make sure we hadn't somehow dropped off the system. Thank you!"

She left, and the manager put her one higher in the queue. When her order was made, the manager added an extra bottle of beer, and a little note that said "Sorry for the wait :)"

And I tell this tale because, the thing is... If this is typical behaviour, that first woman probably goes her whole life never quite being happy, never quite content, always missing out on free moments of human connection. By contrast, the second woman goes her life getting those little gestures, being seen that little bit earlier, having a slightly smoother time of things.

And neither probably even realises. In a thousand small ways, Second Woman has a happier time than First Woman, entirely down to their behaviour.

Please respect my boundaries and assume that I am Not mad.

It's June, so it's time for a little history lesson:

You probably know that June is Pride Month, but do you know why this month was chosen? It’s because of the Stonewall Riots that happened in June in the year 1969, in a bar called Stonewall Inn in New York (USA).

In the 60s, engaging in “gay behavior” in public (like holding hands, kissing or dancing) was illegal. Violent police raids of gay bars were common.

Especially trans women of color were regularly arrested and subjected to police brutality during those raids. Police officers would also sexually harass them by taking them to the bathroom to “verify their sex.”

In the early hours of June 28, 1969, there was one of those (homophobic and transphobic) police raids happening in the bar mentioned above.

According to many accounts, a woman named Stormé DeLarverie was hit by a police officer with a baton after she complained that her handcuffs were too tight. This sparked the crowd to fight back. They threw objects (such as pennies, bottles and stones) at the police, which ultimately led to several nights of rioting.

These riots are the event that paved the way for the modern gay rights movement. Within a few months, at least two organizations and three newspapers to promote LGBT+ rights were founded.

One year later, there was the first “Christopher Street Liberation Day” in New York (named after the street where the riots started). Their official chant was: “Say it loud, gay is proud.”

In the late 1970s, countries like Sweden and Germany celebrated their first “Christopher Street Liberation Day” events — the beginnings of Pride in Europe. Nowadays, there are Pride events all over the world.

Of course, this is just a short and simplified overview. If you want to deepen your knowledge, there are plenty of ways online to learn more about the history of Pride Month!

With all my love, 

Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.

Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.

And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way. 

Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build. 

No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them. 

And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.