"Give yourself a title, bro"

as a child I saw princess leia and miss piggy and princess fiona on my vhs tapes and i thought, okay so part of being a woman is like, attacking people. That's an important part of femininity.

chronically depressed pokemon trainer and the absol that she didn't pick but she just has because it showed up one time

she keeps it around because she recognizes it’s probably good for her long-term, and her therapist agrees, but it is very annoying to have a fluffy creature in your house that constantly inconveniences you by messing up plans you haven’t even made yet. she comes home from work and she can’t cook dinner because all the kitchen knives are gone. she wakes up in the morning and all the non-essential pills are missing from the medicine cabinet. her car’s gas is siphoned sometimes. how the fuck does a pokemon even learn to siphon a car’s gas tank? but she’s still here and she’s slowly making it day by day and things, verrrrrry slowly, are getting better

It’s a Kind Thing with Ears A Tail and A Nose. It’s called “Puppies” and it can have any name.

@machveil !!!

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war

the emotionally drained girl would like to go "awawa" with you

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.