suh dude

i haven''t listened to 'take me to church' a lot over the years bc it was played so often in its initial popularity and i love other songs on the album so much more so it rarely makes it onto any of my playlists. but now i finally have a cassette player again and i'm listening to my tapes again ofc i just listen to albums straight through. and i'm like oh yeah. this song is incredible. like this song really is worth every bit of fame & acclaim. this song launched his mainstream popularity for a reason.

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

this post is like five posts per post

every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb

mostly missing me but i know a bunch of folks that are right in the path 🥰 enjoy it for me, my lovelies!

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

The Longer Martin procrastinates the funnier this gets.

ORAS haters are weak and will not survive the winter. How many other video game remakes have had the confidence, the guts, to ask challenging, pertinent philosophical questions like "if a giant doomsday asteroid is hurtling towards our planet in the remake-verse, then is it ethical to send it to a parallel dimension where it will destroy the world of those original games from 2002 instead," and even "hey what if actually ☝️ we just blow it up with a dragon 🐉"