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william-snekspeare

she is casting a little spell :-)

lost-shoe

“Even a man who is pure in heart…”

Captain America: Civil War isn’t perfect, but one of the things I love about it is how much Bucky’s story frames him as a classic tragic wolfman figure. It’s a story trope that elicits such profound pathos to me because, at its core, it’s a story of a good man doomed with an inner darkness that is so against his true nature that when he loses control to it and becomes a danger to those around him, he’s as much a victim as they are.

We get a glimpse early on of a Bucky who has, to some degree, found himself again, a reconnection we know he must have fought hard for. Even during the simple act of shopping in a market you get a sense of his friendliness and warmth, something we haven’t seen in him since before his fall in Captain America: The First Avenger. When Steve worries that he might take things too far when trying to escape arrest, Sebastian delivers his assurance that he won’t with such gentle restraint in his voice that, despite the desperate throws and punches, you really feel just how much Bucky is trying to keep himself distanced from his Winter Soldier alter ego.

The actual triggering of the Winter Soldier is played so much like a werewolf transformation - Zemo’s codewords serving as Bucky’s full moon - that it’s hard to imagine Sebastian didn’t have this in mind when giving his performance**. Teeth bared, snarling, and increasingly animalistic, when eventually he rises up before Zemo looking, frankly, huge, it’s clear that Bucky the person is gone, and in his place stands HYDRA’s monster, ready to kill.

And in stark contrast to his earlier assertions and fighting style, he does go in for the kill, and ferociously so. Both Tony and Natasha come close to being killed, with Sam, Sharon, and T’Challa hardly coming out from the encounter unscathed either. Natasha’s line delivered to a frighteningly unrecognisable Bucky I know has generated much discussion as to its broader meaning, but for me its primary purpose is to emphasise that this isn’t Bucky anymore, that he doesn’t recognise her from previous encounters because there’s currently nothing of the man there to recognise her. Such is the case in the classic werewolf tale that there’s no reaching through the monster to the man trapped inside.

When Steve is eventually able to stop Bucky and restrain him, we get the obligatory post-transformation scene typical of the genre. Bucky wakes dazed, confused, and bloodied, with no memory of his actions and only horror and guilt when he realises his worst fears have come true and he’s still cursed with HYDRA’s own version of lycanthropy.

Despite its arguable faults, Civil War really did take great care in emphasising the psychological horror of Bucky’s situation. By drawing parallels to one of Hollywood’s most sympathetic monsters, by having Steve fully understand the helplessness of his friend’s situation and consistently defend him against characters who don’t, Bucky is framed as one of Marvel’s most tragic characters who you can’t help but long for a cure for almost as much as he does. Which is why, in part, his eventual cure shown in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier hits as hard as it does: because we know how much this has taken from him, taken over him, and we see and feel through Sebastian’s performance just how much it means to him to be freed from it and share that joy. Where the classic werewolf story typically ends in a merciful death, this one instead ends mercifully in freedom and a chance at a second life. One begun in TFATWS and which I personally hope is still to be further explored.

**It really isn’t much of a stretch either if you look to his Instagram where he’s shown his appreciation for Jack Nicholson’s performance in Wolf. There’s striking similarities in the feral mannerisms of both performances that you can’t help but suspect Sebastian drew inspiration from this.

illegal-shiit-deactivated201808

Not everybody you want deserves you

nest-deactivated20181209

i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths

lostalive

A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.

johannesviii

In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.

antique-scarecrow

i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved

siwrenn

One time I passed out on the couch after going a few days without sleep, and when I woke up mom said I had been speaking in German in my sleep, and it sounded like I was ordering people to build something

squided

When I was like 5 my mom took me to the grave of her friend that died of cancer and I asked what happened and my mom explained that she died and i fucking said “I died once” and my mom asked me to explain and I went into pretty detailed explanation about how I died in a war because “I got stabbed by a gun with a knife at the end” (my exact words) and I met god and she (she’s a woman obvs) asked if I wanted to stay or go back to earth and I said I wanted to go back so I chose my mom cause she was struggling to have a baby (she had me through IVF) and lemme tell you that changed her like nothing will make you second guess your religious beliefs like a five year old explaining heaven and god to you

kortzite

conk-creet

this post is a fucking ride and it reminded me of something i forgot

one time i was playing on my wii (like 5-ish years ago) and i thought to myself “i haven’t checked on rowan in a week, has he died from the plague? :(“ and i didn’t think anything of it for a bit until later when i had a “what the fuck” moment

actualcandyforducks

I love this kind of shit because it happens to me all the goddamn time. Like:

-The other night I rolled over in the middle of the night to shake my partner awake, proceeded to tell him how I was glad that ‘this time round we would truly have the freedom to love each other properly’ and how his hands belonged to his last self, but his eyes had never changed in all the lives I’d known him. And he just laid there in the dark like wtf because I was asleep. Like I’d woken him to tell him that all in my sleep and then left him to have a crisis.

- Watching the history channel with my Pop on the couch, tender age of 7, and they’re talking about crucifixion. And my pop, ever the funny man, is like “that looks like it aughta hurt”. And I just turn to look at him and without hesitation reply “only at first”. And he’s like “what do you mean” and tiny me just shrugged and said “well there’s a place beyond the hurt where everything just stops” and he turned the telly off and left the room.

- night before Christmas 2012, dreamt I’d been stabbed in the lungs by an angel with the face of a falcon. He looked at me and told me he had to do it, so that ‘my next breath would come as a rebirth’. When he started to glow so brightly that it burned my eyes, I woke up to all the lights in my house on and a dark bruise beneath my rib cage. Will admit, that one freaked me out.

- walked past a graveyard with a friend back in middle school on the way to her house, and mid conversation I stopped talking and stood stock still, looked over at the walls,and quietly said “I have a friend in there”. Then picked up the conversation and continued strolling like nothing had happened. To be fair, I didn’t realise what I’d said. She still tells me I’m the reason she can’t walk past that graveyard anymore.

- a couple of years ago when I was in Wales I walked past an old stone house just outside of Aberystwyth, and just started to weep. I had the overwhelming thought that I needed to be in there to get dinner ready for the children, but in a different life so long ago and so impossible to reach, that thefeeling of loss was instant and overwhelming.

- was about to use a pedestrian crossing, when my whole body just sort of went hey don’t do that, and so I stopped and put my arm out to stop the woman who was crossing behind me, and 2 seconds later a car came skidding around the corner and crashed into the tree on the other side of the crossing, and I just whispered “ha, not this time” and didn’t really think about it until later when I realised I’d nearly died again. (Btw i waited for th ambulance to show up and the dude driving the car was fine, just hit his head and was drunk af at 10:30am on a Thursday).

- another dream I had just this week, I was sitting in an otherwise empty cinema with a tall, thin man. I can’t really recall what he looked like, except he was well dressed, impossibly pale, and he kind of blurred when you looked directly at him, so I mainly watched him out the corner of my eye and looked ahead at the blank movie screen. He was holding my hand, and he asked me if i enjoyed my life. I said yes and explained why. He then said, almost verbatim, “And how does this one weigh against the last? Can it tip the scales, or is it, at last, to be found lacking?” And I replied, almost verbatim “I weigh my lives against my joy, and each life I find there is more joy to be discovered.” He replied with a laugh, lifted my hand to a kiss and said “till next time then” and disappeared. I woke up in the dark with both my cats sitting on me, alert, and staring out my bedroom door.

So many more, but these are the first that come to mind.

elidyce

When I was little, my mother, my sister and I would dream in unison so often that one time when my mother was having a rather dull dream about golf my tiny 3 year old self shook her awake and told her to stop because it was boring. She dreaded having nightmares because both of us would wake up shrieking.

My sister and I have also been known to argue in our sleep. Witnesses assure us that whatever made the shouting start, we both knew what it was and were mad about it. We don’t need to be in the same room for this.

We also stayed in a haunted house for a while. An old lady had fallen in the chilly hallway just outside the warm kitchen, broken her hip, and couldn’t reach high enough to open the door, so she died of hypothermia a foot away from a telephone and warmth. Without fail, every person who stood in that spot and tried to open that door - the single most used door in the house, being between the kitchen and the bathroom and front door - felt cold and found themselves scrabbling frantically at the door handle, which was always strangely hard to open from that side. You got used to it to an extent, but it always hit strangers hard.

krystal-prisms

Shit dude yall are cursed

the-fox-jawed-cryptid

I love this thread

the-half-elf-disaster

I’ve had several experiences like this and if you ask my family, it’s because we were cursed by a witch several generations back. But! Highlights include:

My great grandmother died when I was very young (like four years old). I told my parents that she had come to say goodbye to me before leaving. I knew she was dead before they did.

Sharing dreams was mentioned and while I’ve never had the same dream at the same time as someone else, I have regularly had dreams about a woman named Faith. For years, I didn’t tell anyone about her bc tbh she kind of creeps me out and is soothing in equal parts. Come to find out, my dad also has dreams with Faith in them and his dreams involving her deal a lot with death, like mine do.

Every house I’ve lived in since I was a child has been haunted, but they haven’t all started out that way. My grandmother thinks it is the family that is haunted, not the places. (There’s that family curse coming back in to play.)

I’ve had a reoccurring nightmare since childhood involving running through a city with cobblestone streets as a child along with several others. By the end of the nightmare, me and all the children have died. The first time I had this nightmare, I woke up crying and saying that everyone had died again and I still couldn’t stop it.

When I was little, I had an imaginary friend I called “Woo Woo”. He was very tall, had no hair, and typically dressed in red. I never thought anything about this after getting older until I was babysitting my little cousin (who was five or six at them time) and she told me that Woo Woo had told her to tell me he said hello and was sorry he couldn’t visit like he used to. I had never told her about Woo Woo.

echobyrnes

I’m reblogging this to read later because holy shit

midnight-spectrum-again

Oh my god

big-mom-energy

When I was very little (3?) I told my mom she had me so she wouldn’t have to eat cupcakes by herself on her birthday; I was a surprise rainbow child at 28. I guess the year before I was born a birthday party for my mom fell through and she’d eaten the cupcakes alone, she’d had no idea how I knew.

alarajrogers

When I was like 3 I came downstairs while my mom was watching a special on the Tudors and Anne Boleyn and I started crying and said, “Mommy, they cut off her head!”

My mom thought, maybe I’d been on the stairs watching longer than she thought, so she asked me, cut off who’s head? And I shrugged and showed no sign of having any idea of what I just said.

***

The night my mom died, I had a dream where I went to visit her, and she was still very sick but she could talk, she was lucid. When I’d visited her a week earlier in real life she had Wernicke’s aphasia and everything she said sounded demented or weird. In the dream, we talked, and I was so happy to be able to communicate with her again. And then there was a loud buzzing noise, and I woke up.

I checked my phone, and I’d received a text from my dad that my mom had passed away… 45 minutes earlier. So whatever buzzed and woke me up, it couldn’t have been the text. I had no more recent notifications.

To this day I believe that that dream was my mom actually coming to visit me after she died, and buzzing my phone so I’d wake up because she knew you don’t remember dreams if you don’t wake up right after them.