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@wicked-alchemist

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New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis
JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.
“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”
She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”
After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”
Another hilarious thing I feel we should talk about more is the fact that *film* Aragorn and Arwen break up right before Aragorn leaves Rivendell……. meaning that film!Aragorn spends most of the quest in an “oh my god my relationship of 50 years just ended what do I even do with myself????” depression haze.
It explains so much…..
Like. Externally Aragorn is on an epic quest to save Middle Earth, internally he’s crying on the couch in his sweatpants eating a tub of the Middle-Earth equivalent of Ben and Jerry’s
Legolas: Aragorn?
Aragorn: Arwen used to call me Aragorn…..
Legolas: Because it’s your fucking name
To be clear I actually love the film’s version of Aragorn/Arwen’s relationship, there’s a lot of Dramatic Potential/ angsty meta you could write on it, but–.
BUT
It’s also like– you think Aragorn has to put up with Legolas and Gimli’s annoying romance antics? Legolas and Gimli have to deal with Aragorn spending half the quest staring wistfully into the distance and sighing dramatically about What Can Never Be™…with how often he sings the Lay of Luthien, basically the Middle Earth equivalent of Adele’s Someone Like You….
Gimli: You haven’t washed your hair in MONTHS. We’re staging an intervention.
Aragorn (lying flat on the ground with his face in the dirt): aweralwkerjwae
Legolas: You’re only 87– you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You can find love a second time!
Aragorn: I did. Boromir died.
Legolas: Maybe three is your lucky number!
#for me film Legolas’ main character trait#is that he’s incapable of reading the room (tags via @overthinkinglotr)
Aragorn, any time he gets a moment to himself during the quest:
Gimli: This lovely Rhohirrim woman is clearly into you. She’s a fighter. You’re a fighter. She loves horses. You love horses (also you smell like one). Give her a chance!
Aragorn: *flashbacks to him and Arwen making out in Imladris while the elvish version of “when somebody loved me” plays in the background.
He literally did this. (and then imagined Arwen kissing him before getting woken up by his horse)
At least he managed to wash himself AND his hair
“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:
It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.
You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.
Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.
Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%
During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.
When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.
You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.
You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.
If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.
Please feel free to share this.
And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.
And no, ivermectin will not help this at all.”

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A perfectly natural heterosexual black swan couple raising their cute fluffy babies together as God intended <3
SIKE
THEY'RE GAY
And they're not some rare exception to the rule, either!!!
About 25% of black swan couples consist of two swans of the same sex (typically, two males).
These couples will court each other, build a nest, and raise their young together in a more-or-less committed monogamous relationship.
In fact, these same-sex couples have a high success rate of 80% when raising their young to adulthood, as opposed to the 30% of their heterosexual counterparts! Two big buff papa swans are better than one when it comes to stomping on invaders of nesting territory.
"But," I hear you say, "where do their baby floofballs come from? Does mpreg exist among black swans?"
Alas, no, but there is a very elegant solution to this. The swan couple may simply temporarily associate themselves with a female swan.
Afterwards, the female swan deposits their eggs and swims off free to live her single girlie life if she wishes (or, find a boyfriend. Preferably one who isn't already committed to another boyfriend.)
So whenever someone commits the naturalistic fallacy "homosexuality bad because unnatural >:(" I like to point out not only their glaring illogicality, but also, respectfully, there is homosexuality happening in the local lake right now.
This concludes my Ted Talk on gay swans.
"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe
wait what's that word..........
like "pentasyllabic" and "cutes"
subtext literally has subtext!!!!!!!
Pedestrian traffic lights
Hello fish nation, please enjoy some silly gouache fish paintings

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Truncated text of tweet from MrPitBull, Mar 11, 2026:
She kept finding women in laboratory photographs from the 1800s. Then she read the published papers—and every single woman had vanished. Someone had erased them from history.
Yale University, 1969.
Margaret Rossiter was a graduate student studying the history of science. She was one of very few women in her program.
Every Friday afternoon, students and faculty gathered for beers and informal conversation. One week, Margaret asked a simple question: "Were there ever any women scientists?"
The faculty answered firmly: No.
Someone mentioned Marie Curie. The group dismissed it—her husband Pierre really deserved the credit.
Margaret didn't argue. But she also didn't believe them.
So she started looking.
She found a reference book called "American Men of Science"—essentially a Who's Who of scientific achievement. Despite the title, she was shocked to discover it contained entries about women. Botanists trained at Wellesley. Geologists from Vermont.
There were names. There were credentials. There were careers.
The professors had been wrong.
But Margaret's discovery was just the beginning. Because as she dug deeper into archives across the country, she found something far more disturbing.
Photograph after photograph showed women standing at laboratory benches, working with equipment, listed on research teams.
But when she read the published papers, the award citations, the official histories—those same women had disappeared. Their names were missing. Their contributions erased.
It wasn't random. It was systematic.
Women who designed experiments watched male colleagues publish results without giving them credit. Women whose discoveries were assigned to supervisors. Women listed in acknowledgments instead of as authors. Women passed over for awards that went to male collaborators who contributed far less.
Margaret realized she was witnessing a pattern that stretched across centuries.
Women had always been present in science. The record had simply pushed them aside.
She needed a name for what she was documenting.
In the early 1990s, she found it in the work of Matilda Joslyn Gage—a 19th-century suffragist who had written about this exact phenomenon in 1870.
In 1993, Margaret published a paper formally naming it: The Matilda Effect.
The term captured something that had been hidden in plain sight for generations. Once you knew the term, you saw it everywhere.
Her dissertation became a lifelong mission.
For more than 30 years, Margaret researched and wrote her landmark three-volume series: Women Scientists in America. She examined letters, institutional policies, individual careers. She gathered undeniable evidence that women in science had been consistently under-credited and structurally excluded.
Her work faced resistance. Many dismissed women's history as political rather than academic. Others insisted she was exaggerating.
Margaret didn't argue emotionally. She presented data. Documented cases. Patterns repeated across decades and institutions.
Eventually, the evidence became undeniable.
Her research helped restore recognition to scientists who had been erased:
Rosalind Franklin, whose X-ray work revealed DNA's structure—credit went to Watson and Crick.
Lise Meitner, who explained nuclear fission—omitted from the Nobel Prize.
Nettie Stevens, who discovered sex chromosomes—received little credit.
Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, who discovered stars are made of hydrogen—initially dismissed.
And countless others whose names had nearly vanished.
Margaret changed the narrative. Science was no longer just the story of solitary male geniuses. It became a story of collaboration that included women who had been written out.
The Matilda Effect became standard terminology. Scholars used it to examine how credit is assigned, how authors are listed, who receives awards, who gets left out.
Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.
You BEHEAD Marie Antoinette?
you CHOP her head like the GUILLOTINE??
OH OH CHAOS FOR FRANCE! CHAOS FOR FRANCE FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!
Pity I hadn’t seen this closer to Bastille Day… :-D

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what is the secret to staying actually HAPPILY married for so long?
you gotta marry a weird little freak that commits to you and the bit and that's IT
Like my husband doesn't not ever EVER text me "on my way" or "headed home"
He made a sticker of that one cat meme and he just sends that every
single
time
And I laugh every single day.
That's it that's that secret.
This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.