how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

If I ever don’t laugh at this, assume I died.

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

would you sit with me when it's raining outside

the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

Perbe you should have thought about the consequences before posting a linguistic banger

oh boy! something in my mailbox from the IRA? I wonder what it could be!

I’m lying face down on the floor. Reblog to join.

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

If this pops up while you’re scrolling, I wish you unconditional love and massive success.

doomscrolling thru the weather app