Accio Musa

She held onto him as he continued to carry her. She knew how this would look, how the man who called her a filthy Mudblood, was now the man who she craved, the man she was kissing, and doing other things with. Her fingers interlocked behind his neck, letting him just carry her through where he wished to go.

Harry let his eyes wander towards Pansy, trying to figure out what she might be thinking , he’d always had a good read on people- it’s the only way he’d survived his youth, which in hind sight was both hilarious and sad. How had he even survived to this point? Maybe it wasn’t worth thinking about, he might drive himself crazy if he did that.

Forgiving Pansy felt… strange. They had spent so long on opposite sides- he had meant what he said, he was willing to move past it; to forgive her, but he was done just erasing what people had done to hi, he’d done it with Ron too many times to do it with someone he barely knew. “I didn’t realize you worked in the ministry.” he said with a shrug, “I guess we will be. Think you can handle that Parkinson?”

"Worked there for a while." She pointed out. "In the investigation Department." She added. "So we will probably see each other more now. I didn't start there, but I recently got promoted to there." She smiled. "Trying to turn the family name into one that does good." She said. "Now that Dad is in Azkaban, and Mum has gone to some small cottage in Wales, away from almost everything, I can finally be me." She told him.

"Think I can handle it?" She asked and laughed "Think you can handle it Harry?" She asked with a smile. She didn't want to be on a surname basis with him, she remembered that was something Draco always did, and she didn't want to be a reminder of him to Harry, she wanted to try and start over, they were adults now.

Her eyes widened as the secret passage opened up. She was sure she knew them all from studying the Marauders map. Yet she knew nothing of this one. She was about to push off the table when he slipped his hands under her rear and lift her off the table with ease. Her arms wrapped over his shoulders to steady herself, and a jolt of desire came crashing through her as he carried her into the secret passage.

"What is this place?" She asked him.

She found herself lightly curling the hairs at the nape of his neck with her fingers, trying to watch where he was taking her.

"Wait... you did?" She asked him. "You went... back in the woods to find it?" She asked.

She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, despite him being covered in dark. "You have no idea how much this means to me, that you went back and got my necklace." She breathed. She pulled back and turned around, moving her hair "Will you put it back on for me?"

The brunette rose a brow again and tilt her head as she looked at him. "Curious about me? In what way? Why am I curious?" She asked with a small smile on her lips, wondering what she had done to make the tall male curious about her.

“You’re making yourself the villian! I didn’t come after you. You came to me, and now you’re acting like there’s a specific way I should be grieving. What is it you’d like me to say? That I killed him? That I’m going to have to live the rest of my life with the knowledge that I killed him?” He snarled, anger taking the place of grief.

He didn’t want to deal with this right now.

“This is my room! GET OUT” Normally the sight of tears would have made him hesitate, but she had touched a nerve. “You don’t know the first thing about me, but you’ve decided you do. I don’t care if you stay in this house I just don’t want you here. Where I am. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m sorry you lost him too. But you don’t get to come in here and tell me I’m not grieving properly.”

"Stop twisting my words, stop putting words in my mouth." She snapped at him, tears running down her cheeks. "And you think I had a lot of people? I had my Mom, that was all, because we had to hide, we had to pretend to be dead, so that we wouldn't be hunted. Not just be the Death eaters, but by the ministry too. We weren't safe from either side. I had to pretend he wasn't my father, I had to stay in France till it was safe to return, to tell our family, my mothers friends that we were alive. Just because I didn't grow up with muggles under the stairs doesn't mean I wasn't isolated or alone." She told him. Her voice surprisingly calm. Not that he would see that she too didn't have a great life, because one thing she had got to know about him, he was selfish, and seemed to be the only one allowed to have a bad life.

"My Dad was framed, I knew my whole life that I wouldn't ever see him. You didn't know he was even your Godfather till your teens Harry. So don't make my grief less than yours, because thats what it fees like you have done. Its all been about your grief, getting people to feel bad for you.... I don't have that, I don't have people to comfort me. You are so lucky you do, but I don't. And all I would appreciate is some comfort from someone he considered family. But you are busy wallowing in your self pity." She breathed.

"I have never blamed you for his death. Ever, and I am not saying you can't grieve. I am saying I want us to be able to comfort one another in OUR loss." She told him.

When he said it was his room, she set her jaw, the anger rising again "This is MY family home Harry. The House of Black. My family. I have sad you could stay, and I will stand by that, but I will not be treated this way in MY family home. Get out of your self pity and self destruction and be a decent human being. realise you are not the only one grieving, that you are not the only one to lose someone you love. You got to spend more time with him than I did, because he wouldn't let me anywhere near the order, or any battle. But sometimes... it would be nice to have a hug, or a reassuring smile from someone who understands my grief." She then said. "I am not saying you are not grieving properly. I am saying we shouldn't grieve alone, or ignore that someone else is grieving." She told him. "But you do not get to come into MY FAMILY home, and treat me as if I am unwelcomed, or make out that you are the only one who lost someone Harry." She told him.

❛  are we actually doing the right thing?  ❜ ❛  are you bleeding?  ❜ ❛  are you even sorry?  ❜ ❛  are you still mad at me?  ❜ ❛  are you sure you’re gonna be okay on your own?  ❜ ❛  can’t we just be friends again?  ❜ ❛  can we pretend this never happened?  ❜ ❛  can you help me with this?  ❜ ❛  didn’t you listen to what i just said?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even love me?  ❜ ❛  don’t you believe me?  ❜ ❛  do you trust me?  ❜ ❛  do you understand what that means?  ❜ ❛  do you want to talk about it?  ❜ ❛  haven’t you heard the news?  ❜ ❛  have you ever cared about anyone other than yourself?  ❜ ❛  how did you do that?  ❜ ❛  how will i ever be able to repay you?  ❜ ❛  is it my fault?  ❜ ❛  is there anything i can do for you?  ❜ ❛  was all of this just a lie?  ❜ ❛  we’re gonna survive this, right?  ❜ ❛  what are you doing here?  ❜ ❛  what do you want from me?  ❜ ❛  what have you done to them?  ❜ ❛  what makes you think i’m going to help you?  ❜ ❛  when was the last time you ate something?  ❜ ❛  when will it stop?  ❜ ❛  when will you ever grow up?  ❜ ❛  where were you last night?  ❜ ❛  who did this to you?  ❜ ❛  who the hell are you?  ❜ ❛  why can’t you just let it go?  ❜ ❛  why didn’t you tell me sooner?  ❜ ❛  why did you leave me?  ❜ ❛  why don’t you come home with me?  ❜ ❛  why would you do something like that?  ❜ ❛  will you call me when you got there safely?  ❜ ❛  will you please tell me what happened?  ❜ ❛  will you stop doing that?  ❜