Can you believe that there are people who live so close to the ocean that they can just think “hey, I should go to the ocean” and then they just do???

thank you

“work wife” let’s take this to the next level. Work ex-wife. we had something once

As it is food drive season I'd like to remind people that while food might be edible past these dates, food banks and food pantries will not use food past those dates, so please don't waste their time by donating things they will not use

I love being some online entity please don't think of me as a real person

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

have you ever seen me without this stupid blog on ? that’s weird

people are always saying “they have should be at the club” about characters who would immediately have a panic attack if even put in the general vicinity of one

wish everyone could perceive the Vague Concepts in my head because i just know you would looove my Vague Concepts. you would think im so smart if you saw the misty clouds of Vague Concepts floating around in my head. #MyVagueConcepts

one career option that is sadly no longer open to young women is impostor claiming to be the grand duchess anastasia romanov

numbah one rule of headaches is keep looking at that screen and turn the brightness alllllllllll the way up… and a little electronic music couldn’t hurt.. if that’s your style

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me