The Queen’s Wit

Metro Man was not loved growing up in a way that mattered. His adopted father was clearly very absent, and while we don't know much about his family, their relationship seems superficial. Because of this, his sense of duty to the world is also superficial, hence his boredom.

Hal wasn't raised with power. He gained it and was shown how to use it by a 'space dad' who only taught him power and not love. Hence, he sees it only as a grasping means to an end.

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

We asked them for their thoughts:

MARK: It's a dream come true, honestly! I'm thrilled!

RYAN: They're doing what.

MARK: I've always loved space, ever since I was a little kid, and its been such a huge part of my channel- go check out "In Space With Markiplier" if you haven't already, by the way.

RYAN: I- I didn't agree- Nobody asked me to- When did this get greenlit?!

MARK: Man, I just can't wait, y'know? This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Hands down.

RYAN: I am not going to space!! I'm not going! Who told you this was happening?! When is it happening?! I- I've gotta call my wife, we- I have to go, sorry-

But the kazachok, he danced really wunderbar!

oh yeah also here are some kinda dumb doodles i made last night while at a pub, chatting with another PHM-hyperfixated friend lol

Human 1: (points at animal) What’s that?

Human 2: Cow.

Human 1: (points at bug) What’s that?

Human 2: … little cow.

Human 1: But it’s so much smaller. Who would have use for such a small cow?