save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

#extradirty
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@eternalspine
save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

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One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.
To be entirely fair to the pelican, I have seen humans do much, much dumber things with their infants. The park rangers in Louisiana ha e to regularly tell people to not put their babies on the ground next to the gators for a pic.
In fact, it could be argued that the peculiar grammar used by the pelican in the Put Baby In Pelican Mouth post is deliberate, like how phishers use major grammar errors in their messages so that people too smart for the scam (or smart enough to report them) ignore the emails and the scammer can focus on the most likely marks.
Regardless, the pelican is right: there is absolutely someone dumb enough to put a baby in its mouth because it asked politely. Probably dozens on that beach alone.
Put baby in pelican mouth for Instagram photo. Facebook photo of baby in pelican mouth for many likes and also happy asleep baby. So cute baby in pelican mouth for video on TikTok. Youtube short of baby so cute in soft pelican mouth for so many views to Youtube channel. Baby in pelican mouth challenge.
tomorrow i'll be crazy normal. everyone will be shocked.
So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that
sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully
skips a stone over a few posts

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Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more
No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges
the Ice War on Europa...
man I sure love that character I wish the writers did too
i’m apparently rereading the entire cosmere. accidentally. started with mistborn era 1 last fall-early this spring. then elantris last week. and war breaker this week. and i’ve gotten this far on accident and i’m not one to do things halfway so now it’s the entire cosmere. wish me luck

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seward: man since Lucy rejected me all I have to fill my time is this fucking guy and his fucking bugs. I’m happy for her and Arthur but damn I sure wish I had some big important project to work on to give my life meaning
apollo, the greek god of prophecy:
Rocky and Grace are yelling at each other. Rocky stops mid argument to demand that Grace put on his angry eyebrows. Grace immediately stomps to the whiteboard, stomps back over with the dry erase marker, draws angry eyebrows on the xenonite ball. the argument continues
“Thats not realistic”
Yeah not for YOU, you unwhimsical bitch
raining for one day - omg so cozy so magical
raining for two days - russiannovelistmode
rain for four days - date a merman
Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable
Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

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So I’ve discussed before on this blog how my grandmother just refuses to drink water and now it’s landed her in the emergency room.
(She’s gonna be fine she’s just a little bit stupid)
I tried to get her daughter on the phone in order to yell at her for me but her daughter is on an international flight right now so I’ve gotta do it myself.
She almost fell over and I was like did you drink water today and she was like “well I had a tiny glass of juice with my pills”
Lady that is not water please for the love of holy Christ Jesus I’m trying to keep you alive here
Anyways all of you also drink water please especially if you have a health condition. It’s hot outside this time of year in the northern hemisphere.
I appreciate all of your thoughtful suggestions on how to make water more tasty for her but finding fluids that she likes drinking isn’t a problem. She just refuses to drink enough of them.
Role swap au where Zuko was the Avatar who got frozen for a hundred years, so when he’s rescued from the ice instead of a goofy twelve year old Katara catches this mysterious teenager with long hair and a cool scar and a fucking DRAGON
Katara: BOY???? HOT BOY?????? HOT TEENAGE BOY?????????
Zuko: *speaks*
Katara: nevermind I hate him
How does Aang factor into this? I ask because the more I think about it the more I want him to somehow be trying to capture the Avatar.
Aang is 112 years old, decided he was going to be Zuko’s airbending teacher, and refuses to take no for an answer
Aang: Aw, the new Avatar doesn’t want me. Aang: *gets out a weighted net* Time for Plan B then.
JDJSHJABDBFJSH
Look, you know how you keep a net from falling on you? YOU AIRBEND IT, SUCKA. Air comes right after fire in the cycle so it’s not like the guy has any other options. Do you want a flaming net falling on you? No? Then learn to airbend. Or this tiny old man will cart you away like a trussed turkey and lecture you about the power of laughter, going with the flow, opening your chakras, and other hippie shit.
Sokka, slouching against a fence, not moving: Oh nooooooo, that creepy old man stole the Avataaaaaaaaaar. Sokka, sitting down on the ground: We should dooooo something. Sokka, pulling out his lunch: Otherwise he might actually learn something. That would be teeeerrible. Katara, indignant rage coursing through her body: Sokka!!!!!!!! We have to go look for him!!!! Sokka: Might! Actually! Learn! Something! Katara! Katara: *wavers* Katara, also sitting down: We have to go look for him…. *gets out her own sandwich* But, maybe after lunch.
I love that this transforms Aang’s role in the full Team Avatar familial situation from the baby of the family to the Grandpa with weird hobbies
My brain, immediately after the “Aang won’t take no for an answer” post:
Aang: I’m gonna ride him! *jumps on Zuko’s shoulders*
Actually, I thought a bit more about this: If Aang is “grandpa figure who won’t fucking stop teaching Zuko to be a better and more spiritually fulfilled person,” then what is Iroh doing?
And then it hit me.
Iroh: *sitting in a teahouse at a paisho table* Iroh, deadpan: I must capture the last airbender. Iroh: It is the only way to make sure the powe rof the Avatar won’t be turned on the Fire Nation. Iroh: Only then will I be redeemed in the eyes of the Fire Lord for my failure at Ba Sing Se. Iroh: … Iroh: Anyway, it’s your turn.
About half of the B plots are just Iroh finding new ways to feign incompetence and bad luck so that his political watchdog can’t prove that he’s letting Aang - and by extension Zuko - get away.
@ray10k
Sometimes Iroh plays paisho with Aang, whose entire disguise during these games consists of a painfully fake mustache.
AANG WAS THE OTHER PLAYER IN THAT SCENE OF COURSE IT’S PERFECT (the moustache is just a bit of Appa’s fur tied in a string)
@muffinlance I’m DEAD
I don’t know what you’re talking about Iroh’s paisho partner isn’t Aang it’s Pippin Paddleopsicopolis III…and these are his grandkids.
Camera pans to Sokka and Katara with smirks on their faces as Zuko sits in the corner with a net stuck on top of him.