6:21

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

if tumblr does that fucking stopping your dash scrolling to make you look at an ad thing to me at the wrong time on the wrong day im going to do something big to solve the problem

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

watching heated rivalry as a life long fanfic enjoyer with a professional eye..... nice placement of death in the family..... sublime injured partner/protective partner.... exquisite 8tracks playlist....

my mind palace is not up to code

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

They’re soulmates but one of them is infact trying to choke the other to death with the red string of fate tying them together

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

This brownie recipe asks for SIX eggs and full 200g of butter. Aniagotuje, this better make everyone at the office nut or I'm sending you an invoice

Yeah, yeah ok. Aniagotuje, my apologies

Narrative lead pledged undying loyalty to me as a result of the brownies

stuck in a timeloop called i just have to get through this week