what’s Good

got an ad on instagram for a group of beatles impersonators that hire out for events and all the comments were asking if they hired them would the paul and john kiss

One of my roommates is from China and neither of us speaks the other’s language but lately when she’s in a chatty mood she comes into our kitchen and shows me these douyin Matt Damon x Ben Affleck RPF videos and puts her theories about how Ben has been pining for Matt into google translate for me to read. fujoing out transcends language barriers

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

I wish I was a muppet so I could flail uncontrollably with no consequences. And for the scrunch

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...

Fidel Castro

I see a child run out in front of this car and I throw a black lace shawl over their shoulders, saving their life

trent rezdog would be like i scratched myself today... to see if i have fleas

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall