sage @urmomsbrat - Tumblr Blog

you’re laughing. world renowned exy superstar kevin day has permanent residence in the cuck chair of not just one, but two of his coworkers gay relationships, and you’re laughing.

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melon-bunny

sadistic girls go to heaven

contemptible-scoundrel

adhd is such a humiliating disease to have ones life ruined by

romestewy

prettyboyneil

Neil noticing Jean was into Renee after a few brief moments at the banquet I know Andrew was sick oh that you noticed but when I, Andrew Minyard….

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echoesofsaturn

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

greelin

“would getting to say goodbye have given you any actual relief or closure?” no but i like to pretend it would and fixate on the fantasy of it all

argillaforma

shane coming home after hanging out with rose's gay friends, looking like a sad puppy: ilya...i don't think they liked me...they called me a cunt all evening

ilya, well versed in queer culture: sweetheart they said you were cunty which is very different i promise they loved you

freakoutgirl

seeing happy people posting on tumblr like shut up. take your ass to instagram.

newporters

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jewelcoatfish

hollanov taking an after game interview together because of plot convenience reasons and ilya was chirping the opposing team about their first line points per game being barely scraping 0.4 when shane tapped his arm lightly and ilya leaned towards him. all the reporters perk up because omg are we gonna see shane hollander disciplining ilya rozanov live???? this is TEA. and ilya just nodded and said

“apologies, my husband wanted to correct that their first line pgp was 0.34. which was more pathetic than i originally assumed.”

isisisak

at one point ilya is like ugh i hate that i still have an accent its so stupid ive lived here longer than i did in russia now and shanes like ??? thats like at least 43% of your hotness???! and it leads to cute banter but from then on out shane has this constant fear in the back of his head that he wakes up one day to ilya sounding like HEY HELLO HOW ARE YOU *over the top american accent* and its- hed still love him but...

hudconvent

ilya opening their mail one day and then yelling SHANESHANESHANE who rushes in to where ilya is holding up a piece of mail gleefully

its a speeding ticket (not uncommon) with a traffic enforcement photo attached and its undeniable that it’s ilya’s (very few orange lamborghinis in the area) so shane is like “wow way to go. another few of those and your license is finally going to get revoked” and ilya is like “no. look closer.”

and shane leans in to look at the photo and tiny, just barely perceptible on the grainy photo, is ilya’s hand with a handful of dark hair in his lap

shane is beyond mortified but ilya keeps trying to hang the photo on the fridge

ilyannarozanova

Ilya looking thee Yuna Hollander dead in the eyes and saying "yeah I'd leave Boston for your son" while wearing his Raiders t-shirt is so iconic. Who is doing it like him

barbie-verse

heated rivalry twitter (71/?) game nights in boston are always... eventful

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girljeremystrong

rainbow-femme

“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”

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