cottage (whore) core

Or when Ilya gets home from being out and Shane greets him at the door, arms wrapped around his neck kissing him soundly- he’s pulling his tongue from Shane’s mouth to ask “miss me sweetheart?” And Shane is like “not at all” and then shoving his hands up under Ilya’s shirt. And then a few kisses later Shane is mumbling into Ilya’s lips “did you have dinner out? There’s leftovers”

same picture btw (ilya version)

Shane: How many reps are you doing baby?

But! I'm also growing fond of the idea that Shanw develops strong protective feelings for the entire Cens teams. Or maybe especially fo Wyatt.

There is something moving about how an entire entire team jumps to defend their goalie when an opposing players just dares to touch him. And now I have to imagine Shane, who always had to keep himself emotionally distanced from the Metros, suddenly let's his inner guard dog out with the Cens - it's just a matter of manners and honour to defend your goalie but also he is actually friends with Wyatt and doesn't want to see him hurt either and now Shane actually feels like he actively needs to do something about it instead of only discussing with the refs.

Shane is not a defender, obviously, so it's not his main job, but whenever it's a all hands on deck situation infront of their own goal, he is not above shoving an opposing team player out of the way that skated into Wyatt, and yelling "Don't you dare touch him, asshole!" (And Wyatt gets all flustered about it, angry Shane is even hotter).

Another time he's just right in time to see a forward crosschecking Wyatt and Shane immediately drops the gloves, proudly taking the penalty for fighting. (Which Ilya reprimands is not assistant captain behaviour, but actually he can't take Shane home fast enough to reward him with the sloppiest of blowjobs because yes, angry, fighting Shane is a vision).

Yet another game, and some player is trying to get under Wyatt's skin to distract, chirps turn more inti insults over the time, and after another busy situation infront of their crease, Shane checks that guy and with his voice dangerously gives a final warning: "Leave my goalie alone, man. Or you won't like what comes next." (And Wyatt seriously starts reconsidering his sexuality).

No one will ever convince me that there's not a connection between Shane coming out to his team, it not going well, and Shane volunteering to start an even more intensely restrictive diet than he was already on, that also punishes his relationship. Just like I will always view Shane's anxiety around Ilya coming out to the Centaurs/his friends as a trauma response based on how badly it went for him.

One of the most heartbreaking parts about Shane's performance diet to me, is how in both My Dinner with Hayden and TLG Shane and Ilya mention how they love to cook together, and it's like a fun couple thing for them. It's a point of connection, something they do together aside from hockey. And, unlike hockey, it's something they don't compete about.

Shane's performance diet robs them of this. There's a scene in TLG where Ilya has done a bunch of research to find a meal they can cook together that fits in Shane's diet. And Shane is delighted by this. But, notably, he puts no effort into finding other recipes they can do this with again. He tells Rose he likes the discipline of his diet, and I don't think he means just in regards to what and where he's eating, I think he also means in his relationship.

There's another major change we see in Shane between books. At the end of Heated Rivalry he's talking fairly optimisticly about both of them coming out to friends.

This is at the cottage. Very soon after they've decided they're in a real relationship. It's hard not to compare this with Shane's sheer panic in TLG when Ilya talks about coming out to Troy - not even about them, just about being bi - and also to the possibility of even meeting the rest of his team.

So, what's happened to Shane in the last three years that makes him go from joking around about coming out to his friends to rabidly controlling his relationship and protecting every small detail of it that he possibly can?

i don't understand why so many people think ilya is the opposite of fastidious or neat (and conversely that shane IS suuuuper fastidious or neat as a joyful characteristic).

they are both rich guys with people who are paid to clean up after them 24/7 literally at home and at work. their houses and clothes and dishes will literally not be dirty.

hockey players are notoriously superstitious and demanding about how they want their equipment, their set-up, and their routine. and they spend their lives on the road. packing and unpacking the same bags, taping the same stick, being ironed down by the same hegemonic-conformist culture. they get real good at it.

shane has specific anxiety around being gay/changes affecting his hockey specifically and that drives his devotion to not deviating from routine -> and if that reads as OCD, then compulsive checking does not equal fastidiousness, its an attempt to regulate his internal world thru his external world. if it's autisim, then resistance to change, focused interests and sensory reactivity are literally textbook and it's an attempt to regulate his external world thru his internal world, which can or can't be fastidious/neat.

ilya specifically demands control in his life to an exacting degree that requires work and attentiveness because he was stripped of it in childhood. this manifests in attention to details, control over situations and people, and purposeful approaches to his actions and others: - in his super neat home where yes everything is labelled by his nutritionist/cleaned by a housekeeper but he cares about just how cold shane's ginger ale is etc. sets a timer for the sammies and controls his own emotional activation w his family before returning to the couch bc he wants to convo to go a certain way/also pushes shane through the convo - in conversations like sochi/post first time anal/shane panicking at the cottage/sveta jane pushing where he shuts down or pushes paths of action. - in his appearance/fashion with his curated and rich and clean outfit choices and well kept hair. - in the club when he may be seen as 'messy' by being promiscuous but he deliberately chooses to go out as a coping technique and rejects or picks girls to get with and is very forthright about it from all we can see -- not misleading or letting it get in the way of other things. - in family matters keeping track of his father's abuse/demands towards ilya and then his father's medications/illness/QOL as well as being the primary monetary support for all his relatives with listed examples bc he knows what the money is being spent on! and criticizes his brother for not being as organized. and puts money and gifts in a trust for his niece and sets boundaries to what alexei gets/does not get. - in sex with shane where he guides shane and takes his time with each act, likes to be called by honorifics, likes to order shane around, likes to have all of shane's complete attention and often cleans up quickly. - in his plans for the future where he makes plans about his relationship with shane and tries to make conversations/interactions go just how he imagines them. thinks about signing with boston and thinks about his contracts and his immigration status and how to get what he wants. - etc. etc. i could go on

ilya demands high levels of performance from people as a captain and as a lover and can be very hard to please. locker room: you fuckers each owe me 1,000$//cottage couch vacuum blowie. in hockey/sex, his intense drive and agitator antics mean, if anything, he is aware of mess and how to cultivate the illusion of it or take advantage of it.

shane and ilya do not have to be the opposites in everything. in fact, they are very similar in many, many ways.

i think people are overly invested in false dichotomies in life. they want a binary system to help them actualize how things are in opposite to something else, not as the thing exists. because that is fundamentally less labor, to just say. oh thing 1 vs thing 2. but these are illusory, reductive dichotomies: male is not the opposite of female, curly hair is not the opposite of straight, blue eyes are not the opposite of brown. etc.

so how i think this 1 vs 2 seeking philosophy presents itself in fandom is that have one character who performs at just the same level as another and doesn't show signs of being particularly messy in any way getting labelled as messy/unorganized, simply because the other character has been labelled as neat/meticulous.

also specifically i wonder if ilya's slyness and meanness is just twisted into being messy in an attempt to soften it or reduce it to something cutesy that shane can take care of as an attempt to ""power balance"" their D/s.

--

dude. he would start vibrating at a frequency that renders him invisible to all but the eyes of those fucked up shrimp.