you know what is real

He lands and as soon as his phone reconnects to the network, a voice note from Shane comes through.

“Hey baby, I’ve been watching your flights and I know you missed your connection. There isn’t another flight to Ottawa today, but I booked you a flight to Montreal. It leaves in 90 minutes, so you should have lots of time to make it. I’m going to hop in the car and I’ll pick you up at the Montreal airport. I grabbed us a hotel room so we don’t have to drive back tonight. We’ll be tired, and also I need you inside me like… right fucking now. I’m gonna put a plug in before I hit the road so I’m all ready for you when you land.

Anyway, I sent the flight details to your email so you have everything. I love you so much, baby. I’ll see you soon.” (It’s important to note that this entire message is delivered in a matter of fact, business tone.)

Ilya experiences the Shane-specific range of emotions that his husband is oh-so-good at eliciting in him: gratitude, overwhelming affection, feeling safe and loved, and insane horniness, all before he even gets his bags and gets off the plane.

He subtly adjusts himself and texts Shane as soon as he’s in the terminal.

“Thank you for taking care of the flight. You know how much I respect you, right?”

Shane replies:

“Of course I do, baby. Why?”

Ilya:

“Because when I get you into that hotel room tonight, it’s going to seem like I don’t.”

Shane just sends back a picture of himself, back to the mirror, the merest hint of something silver between his cheeks.

Ilya:

“And they call me a fucking menace. See you soon. I love you.”

Shane:

- did Andrew and Neil leave early because of trauma or because they’re horny

- is the heavy breathing behind the closed door people making out or is someone having a panic attack

- can we get Neil to admit to literally anything

New 2025 comms list! Thanks to some prompting by friends I have decided to slightly raise my prices! I feel this is more fair to the level of work I put in! However my prices are still negotiable and I’m happy to do a discount if you buy more than one at a time!

Another characterrrr

A young David Hollander (who is so sexy!!!), had just had his first big promotion, being internally deployed from a mid-class job at Health Canada to a higher-class job at the Treasury Board of Canada as a policy analyst, coming with not only a pay raise but a new cushy office!

To celebrate, his new bosses invite him to a celebratory dinner, and instruct him to bring his family and introduce them.

So, of course, Yuna and David bring their little shanebug. Their prized possession. He gets forcibly stuffed into nice khakis and a button up. He hates it, but what baby/young toddler doesn't hate fancy clothes?

They get there slightly late because Shanebug did not want to get up from snuggle-time and threw quite the tantrum, and David's bosses, who are mostly old men with grand babies, find him just adorable. They're all taking turns holding him and pinching his cheeks, but Shane just wants to return to his father's lap. He doesn't like strangers holding him for more than five minutes. Furthermore, he would not sit in the crappy restaurant high chair. David awkwardly laughs it off, slightly embarrassed that his baby was being so pouty at dinner and held him in his lap.

The food comes, Yuna and David didn't order Shane any because he's a baby. He'll just have a bottle later before bed ☺️ (wishful thinking, really.).

There's the usual boring conversion topics. 'How's your wife?' 'Oh, great, how's your wife?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, you know. College. Oldest is getting married in about 5 month.'

But it's around fifteen minutes in when David realizes some of the men keep glancing over, not at him, but at Shane. And that Yuna is holding in giggles?

David looked down to see about half of his salmon filet was... missing? Weird. He looks a bit further down to see his little -well, no- Shanebug with two fistfulls of his salmon and a half-chewed mouthful of it.

"Shane!" David exclaims. "Bug, no. You're not supposed to be eating solids." He gently scolds, trying to remove the salmon from Shane's fists.

Shane squirms and kicks his legs, stuffing another fistful into his mouth.

David's bosses laugh, a rich person laugh. The laugh of men who play golf and drink top shelf whiskey.

"Really? Because it looks like he eats solids." One of them jokes, leading to more laughter. How embarrassing, David thinks.

"Dada... Sa-mom." Shane says, looking up at David with teary eyes and a pout that says, 'but daddy, I'm starving' in no words.

David, embarrassingly, buckles immediately and let's Shane eat over half of his salmon. Shane would've eaten more if Yuna didn't stop him. Afterwards, Shane slept like a rock all night long. And, I mean, a win is a win!