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almost home
art blog(derogatory)
Cosmic Funnies
oozey mess
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@weralika
masterlists!
socmed au
pt 1 ; pt 2 ; pt 3 ; pt 4 ; pt 5 ; pt 6 ; pt 7 ; pt 8 (u can see all parts under the fist tag ↓)
kandreil age gap au
1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ;... (second tag ↓)
kevin's suicide attempt
1 ; 2 ; 3 ; ... (third tag ↓)
I also draw! on @ran7a 🌟
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one day at the cottage, Ilya looks them in Shane's office, crowding him against the desk. His lips are on Shane's neck in an instant. "Ilya, what are you doing?" But Ilya just shushs him, turning Shane around, his hand between Shane's shoulder blades pressing him to the surface. "We don't have much time. The team is probably already looking for us," His other hand starts pushing down Shane's shorts and underwear before he continues. "I've been wanting to take you for a long time. I've been impressed with your work for a while. But I bet there are still a few things Rookie hasn't been taught by his captain, right?"
Ilya can hear the wheels in Shane's head turning before everything falls into place and he starts to get with the program. "I've been working very hard, Sir."
"Oh, I can see that," Ilya's had ghosts over Shane's ass, before a dry finger wanders over Shane's rim. "How about you show me just how hard you've been working."
Shane's words are more of a moan than actual words when he speaks them, slurred and syrupy, "Yes, Coach Rozanov. Please–" Shane can't seem to help himself, his ass seeking more of Ilya's touch.
Ilya loves that sounds, loves the way they can do this together. God, he loves Shane so fucking much.
"Good boy."
if youre vegan or vegetarian you should actually make all characters in your fic vegan or vegetarian
aint my boy ever touches meat after being a commodity and tortured for fun
“No homo” cries the team at the dig site. The head archaeologist sinks to his knees, sobbing. He has dedicated his entire career to the pursuit of homo habilis, an important part of the hominid evolutionary line. All his work led up to this archaeological dig site. But now, his whole life has been for nothing. There is no homo….there is only Australopithecus.
I read this to a group of archaeologists and they completely lost their shit
I'm thinking about post-Vegas. (Taking us into sad town again, sorry.)
In the timeline I've mapped out for the Situationship Era Hollanoveau, when the Raiders win the Cup, Cliff knows about Shane, but has not informed either Ilya or Shane that he knows. He also hasn't hooked up with Shane yet.
But he suspects something happened at the MHL/NHL awards, because Roz is always cagey before he has to go back to Russia, but this is a whole new level. Which makes no sense; he's just won the Stanley Cup, and MVP, and finished out the season with the most points he's ever achieved in a single season of his career so far, and it was all but guaranteed that he was going to be named Captain the next season. (Book timeline; I'm putting the book canon and the show canon into a jar and giving it a shake.) He should be walking on air.
Instead, when Cliff comes to see him one last time, the day before his flight to Russia, Ilya seems simultaneously in a daze and utterly waspish. And of course he's not going to talk about it, are you kidding? He's not dumping his problems on Cliff; he doesn't need to hear about how Ilya's father will completely dismiss his achievement, and his brother will ask for even more outrageous amounts of money, and everyone will ignore Grigori's clear deterioration, and and and...
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Ilya coming home too Luca riding Shane on the couch. both in their glasses. his brain explodes.
OMG YESSS HE WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF
like maybe he was coming home from hanging out with troy & harris. he’s a little buzzed but not fully drunk, but he swears he is when he sees that. luca, completely naked, his cock bobbing as he rides shane hard and deep. that’s a disbelief in and of itself, because what do you mean shane is letting that happen? what do you mean he’s letting luca do that? but they both look so lost in it and so good wearing their glasses that ilya can’t bring himself to stop them. he just looks at them fondly, smiling, his cock getting hard as he watches luca take every inch of shane. he doesn’t disrupt them, not for anything
Ilya will fuck Shane after that though, because both need this, but especially Shane needs it. Luca riding him is great and fun but he needs to be filled, too.
So Ilya plunges into him while Shane sucks Luca off, finally feeling full with two cocks inside of him.
And if he is close to being overstimulated it makes it just oh so much sweeter for all of them. The glasses stay on, obviously!
eyes blue like the Atlantic typa shit (speed paint on insta)
ilya, post coitus, sticking his head into the shower where shane is washing off: hollander i need to tell you something. stop yelling. i have a theory that scott hunter and eric bennett are fucking.
scott hunter, at the exact same time in new york, rolling over in bed: eric. benny. wake up. i think hollander and rozanov are fucking.
Thinking hollanoveau thoughts this morning, specifically Shane during the situationship era accidentally pavloving himself into developing a fascination with Marleau.
He's not a fan of social media, but these days he feels like he's on Instagram all the time looking at photos of Ilya: His workout selfies. Photos of wild Raiders nights out. Photos of Xbox games with teammates in his living room. So many of the photos he's jerked off to have Marleau in them and Shane can't help Noticing.
It starts with his eyes occasionally slipping over to Marleau's side of the picture. He's seen all of Rozanov so it's easy enough to imagine him without clothes on, even if he's sure he's not remembering him as fucking beautiful as he is in person. But Marleau is a mystery. He finds himself wondering what he'd look like naked. About how big he'd be. He's so tall, surely that translates to the size of his dick, at least a little?
Soon, he's developed his imagined naked version of Marleau. And it doesn't take long for this to develop into Shane looking at the photos of them together and imagining Rozanov smirking at Marleau before closing the gap between them, kissing him long and slow and filthy in that way he knows he's so good at.
Shane strokes his cock as he imagines them reaching for each other's dicks, waving away what they're doing with an excuse, an offhand 'its just called being a good bro'.
He imagines them panting into each other's mouths the way he's done so many times with Rozanov, imagines their last desperate moans before cumming all over each other's bare chests.
He imagines the way Rozanov would grin, so pleased with himself, before insisting on cleaning Marleau up the fun way – with his tongue, lapping up every last bit of it on Marleau and kissing him again to make sure he tastes it on his tongue.
If Shane finds himself looking up photos of Marleau on his own sometimes too after that, well, the less he thinks about it the better.
was thinking abt shane getting slapped hard across the face again today n i cant stop imagining how his parents would react if they accidentally saw the rougher side of his relationship especially smth as casual and demeaning as a backhand for seemingly no reason. like its probably shanes worst nightmare but its also so 😵💫🥰‼️
ooouughhhh yeah yeah like. We already know his parents are willing to let themselves into his cottage....
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There's a brave, young rookie worried about an upcoming date bc it will be his first time. All the guys try to be reassuring and give him advice. Locker room convo turns to when everybody lost their virginity.
Wyatt: 22
Bood: 18
Nick: 20
Troy: 19
Evan: 21
Luca: 19
Shane, after a slight hesitation as he considered the question: with a girl 17, with a guy 19
Ilya: with a girl 14, with a guy 16
Tanner: with a girl 17
Everyone: ????
Tanner: ...you never know
One day Yuna sends Ilya a picture of Shane with his little old man pajamas ready for bed and Ilya has been so conditioned by Shane's habits he genuine blue screens at the fact that his mother-in-law just sent him pictures of her son in what has become effectively lingerie in their house
shane doesn’t take his sports watch off during sex and ilya makes a habit of checking shane’s workout score on the watch to see how intense of a fuck they just had was. he tries to beat the score every time. one time shane’s watch starts vibrating and beeping because his heart rate is the highest it’s ever been because ilya is edging him for so long that when he cums he genuinely thinks he looses some brain cells from how hard it hits him and his watch is telling him “it’s time to take a break, shane!” and ilya high-fives himself when he reads it and shane is breathing so heavy and is covered in so much cum and the edges of his vision is still blurry but that sex just made him hit a new monthly workout score record so he’s pretty happy with how life is going at the moment
Ottawa, Boston and Montreal Rookies going through a similar thing at different times
Neil does his hip thrusts exercise, but when he comes back to the set, Andrew takes the dumbbell off him and simply settles himself into the same spot instead. “What? I don’t weigh more than your usual working weight,” he says under Neil’s questioning stare, practically daring him to start. “I thought you were supposed to hold the weight,” Andrew remarks after a few reps, when Neil still has his hands hovering uncertainly near his chest. Neil obeys, placing his palms on Andrew’s thighs and keeping him steady against himself before returning to his familiar upward hip thrusts. except Andrew notices the way Neil’s blue eyes are growing steadily darker, his breathing becoming increasingly uneven through parted lips as his attention keeps drifting toward the position they have found themselves in. Andrew gives him a faint smirk when Neil lingers on his face for a long time. “Don’t get distracted.” It won’t be long before they end up in exactly the same position again, only this time with no clothing at all between them.
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"Prudery is the enemy of art" - Soviet poster, 1980s
yes Andrew and Neil never say I love you to each other. to Kevin, however-
Andrew and Neil don't have to say "love" in words to each other. "Love" is not something they experienced before in a good way, and they show their love in their actions with a touch or a look. They don't need anything else. But Kevin had a mom who told him that she loves him every day. Since then, he has never heard it from anyone else. He is also insecure about his place in their relationship as they give mixed signals. One moment they put him at the center of their world; the next, they hurt him; the next they say they want him. It is all very confusing. Andrew and Neil are aware, of course. They want to show Kevin that he is important just as much, but Kevin needs something more.
So the first time Neil says "I love you", it's to Kevin. He hugged Kevin, kissed his temple, and said, "I love you." Even Neil was surprised by his own confession. But then, once in a while he would say it, like when he passed Kevin in the kitchen as he cooked, or when they got lazy in front of the TV, or during sex as he mapped Kevin's body with kisses.
Andrew says it much later and only once. After the time when they got separated the longest following Kevin's graduation and Andrew drove 15 hours to get to him after months of not seeing him, he pulled Kevin for a long kiss, and when they broke it to breathe, they didn't separate more than half an inch. Andrew whispered "I love you" to Kevin's lips and kissed him again.
Kevin says it as much as Neil, but not as much as he likes to because he knows it would overwhelm his partners. Instead, he will say "I miss you" when he thinks "I love you" after a long phone call before disconnecting.
