thigs

Our book of holy commentary, the Talmud, lists six genders.

The Talmud is older than Jesus.

And I assure you, as old as that might sound, Native communities in the Americas make that number sound minuscule. 2500 years is nothing compared to ten thousand.

(Yes, Native cultures and communities predate the so-called “cradle of civilization.” BY FAR.)

Everybody’s cracking jokes about how it’s a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the age of Amazon.

The stage itself was turned into a cafe:

You can’t even begin to comprehend the massive amounts of money this place makes, despite the fact that they turned the theatre boxes into reading nooks like this:

I’ve literally spent days holed up in there reading books for free while also consuming massive amounts of coffee and pastries.

Today, 10/20/2020 the Nigerian government sent the military to kill unarmed innocent civilians, a bloody massacre.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS UNSKILLED LABOR.

“You see, no labor is really menial unless you’re not getting adequate wages.”

People also do not need to disclose their trauma as validation for why they do not want to be touched. People are allowed to say “no” to any form of contact, whether they have trauma or not. 

Quit taking “please don’t touch me” as a personal attack on you. 

Here’s a source:

An interruption is specifically intended to stop another person from speaking so you can take over. Other reasons that talk might overlap:

close latching -- how much time should I give between when you stop talking and when I start? Very close latching can feature a lot of overlaps.

participatory listening -- how do I signal to you that I’m engaged with what you’re saying and paying attention? Do I make any noise at all, or do I limit myself to minimal “backchannel” noises (mm-hmm, ah, yeah), or do I fully verbalize my reactions as you’re going? Maybe even chime in along with you, if I anticipate what you’re about to say, to show how well we’re vibing?

support request -- this can shade into interruption as a form of sealioning, but if someone interjects a request like “I didn’t catch that” or “What’s that mean?” it’s not really an interruption, because they’re not trying to end/take my turn away, they’re inviting me to keep going with clarification/adaptation.

asides -- if there’s more than two people involved in a conversation, a certain amount of cross-talk is probably inevitable.

The norms around these kinds of overlaps vary -- by context (we all use more audible backchannel on the phone; an interview is not a sermon is not a casual chat), by culture, and yes, by gender, which is why it’s a feminist issue. But gender doesn’t exist in a vaccuum! Some reasons overlaps might be mis-interpreted as interruptions when they’re not intended to be:

norms about turn latching: someone who’s not used to close-latching conversation might feel interrupted or stepped on when talking to someone who is. The converse is that someone who’s expecting close-latching might feel the absence of it as awkward silence, withdrawal, coldness, etc.

norms about backchannel: if you’re not expecting me to provide running commentary on your story or finish your sentences (or if I’m doing it wrong) then you might feel interrupted. But if you’re expecting that level of feedback you might feel ignored.

neurodivergence: If I have auditory processing problems, I might take longer to respond to you than you’re expecting. If I have impulse control problems, I might blurt something out as soon as I think of it, but I don’t necessarily want you to stop. If I have trouble with nonverbal or paralinguistic cues, I might not latch my turns the way you expect, or my backchannel might be timed in a way you don’t expect.

Non-native speakers of a language may need more time to process speech; may speak more slowly and with pauses in different places than native speakers; may not pick up the same cues about turn-latching and backchannel, resulting in a timing difference; may need to make more requests for support. 

Norms around conversation tend to be super white/Western/male/NT; even among linguists, the way we talk about analyzing talk usually presupposes discrete turns, with one person who “has the floor” and everyone else listening. It even gets coded into our technology -- I thing the account’s gone private, but someone recently tweeted, “For the sake of my wife’s family, Zoom needs to incorporate an ‘ashkenazi jewish’ checkbox” because the platform is programmed to try to identify a “main speaker” and auto-mute everyone else. Most of the progress on this front in linguistics has been pushed by Black women and Jewish women, or else we’d probably still be acting like Robert’s Rules represent the natural expression of human instincts.

And it’s very White Feminism to recognize how conversations styles have disparate impacts across gender lines without also recognizing other axes along which conversation styles vary, once that empower us as well as oppress us. Just because I feel interrupted doesn’t mean I am interrupted, and it definitely doesn’t mean I have the right to scream “EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!” until I’m the only one talking.