how strange it is to be anything at all

shine normal like a plain rock

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

oh to be Spatula bunking down for a snowy night

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

well i hope that cruel angel got into grad school