Wuackamole

Quite straightforward, Mike. Does Father Paul like chocolate chip muffins, and if so why were there no others. The people are dying to know. What is the chocolate muffin situation?

i'm no david lynch but I know peak when I see it, twin

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.

did you hear mark zuckerberg renamed facebook to ligma

what’s facebook

what’s facebook

who the hell is mark zuckerberg

someone needs to stop this blue guy

in a world where happy rich people sell the discontent lower class the lie that money cant buy you happiness it is at least reassuring to know that our sole trillionaire is the most pathetic, unloved, miserable, alone human being on the planet, and that NOTHING could make him happy. get fuckeddd lol

I didn't read your email but I gave it a sniff

it's ladies' night at the long term nuclear waste storage site

we need a cultural revolution in america.

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

BREAKING NEWS: Man So Insufferable He Has Been Paid To Leave Every Project He Has Ever Joined Becomes Richest Person In Existence. "Le Epic Win", Says Man