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You know what is sexist actually.

Oh.

au Alastor gave the egg boiz individual names because he thought it would be funny (and also to tell pentious in a roundabout way hey, ur a shit parent for not giving ur children NAMES. I did the job for you, cry about it.)

Let's not forget this gem

I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.

I swear, Lucifer has a system in his head for when he can't remember anyone's name except his daughter's. And some of the options are multiple choice.

to be clear, while various headcanons and interpretations of why Alastor pretends to be technophobic are extremely fun and awesome, what _I_ meant by my post is: genuine technophile technophobe Alastor. Linux user who despises Windows. The attitude we all have towards AI. He knows exactly what newer technologies do and he has a strong opinion about which of them he needs in his daily life. The last technological advance he was willing to give a generous chance to even though he wasnt much interested for himself was television and the breakup with Vox soured him on that. He Does Not Want The Email To Reach Him. He doesn't have a home address to receive snail mail either. His life is customized to exactly his preferences. If he suddenly has a use for pulling an ipad out of nowhere he can just do that because he can design one in his mind instantly. He has never had a use case for an ipad even once in his life. Rosie doesn't have a phone either and that is the full and complete list of people who might have any claim on his time against his will.

@asslingerer i cannot leave this in replies

VSHJG; I am glad you enjoyed this hell comment that accidentally escaped my brain at 3am hallucinating on Pinot Grigio. For anyone who enjoys this interpretation of Alastor and historical fiction/crime noir, please go read A Gentleman's Calling and tell @birdsaretoddlers how much you like it (and yes, scenes included with Alastor fixing proper 20's equipment while being outrageously asexual. "Get away from me woman I am ENGAGING with my autism" type beat.)

#this is hilarious and I love this headcanon #a bonus point from this is that this can explain why and how Alastor manages to fizz out any cameras #that try to capture his image #cus interestingly enough vox cameras or cameras in general can capture anyones image regardless of the time period #so why is alastor the only one who has this unique attribute of fizzing out cameras? #you can say its because of his power #but you can also say hes tech savvy enough to create sth that can do that to any camera trying to record him #like one of those special uhh fabrics? texture things? #that i know some celebrities wore to purposely mess up the paparazi photos

Im in the middle of waterless shampooing alex and i cant get over how dumb he looks fhfhfbvf my poor clean rat son

lmao are u kidding me this was at 200 notes last week what happened where did all these people come from

not that i care

the last time i got sloppy with this @tinynaught Columbo’d me

Btw don't believe any Etsy ad or things trying to sell this pattern to you. It's been free since the 90s. It's very simple, just double crochet and color changes. Be sure to weave in ends as you go unlike me