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I mean, *I'm* not a thin red-haired Caucasian mother with a bizarre fixation on the narrative that I'm martyring myself to protect women and children from what I perceive to be an unnatural and predatory group of fringe outsiders who are incapable of experiencing real human feelings like love and hope and desire for peace in a better world and seek solely to transform their bodies into something unnatural and conquer the natural world by force, fully ignoring the actual and tangible real-world problems that surround me like poverty, child abuse, racism, and slavery
But if I WAS, I think I might write a story where a thin red-haired Caucasian mother sacrifices herself to protect her child from an unnatural and predatory fringe outsider incapable of experiencing real human feelings like love and hope and desire for peace in a better world who seeks solely to transform his body into something unnatural and conquer the natural world by force, fully ignoring the actual and tangible real-world problems that also exist in the story like poverty, child abuse, racism, and slavery
I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person
BUT
a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."
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my that one friend that's too woke opinion is that in a similar vein to how you almost never see fat people or women without makeup on tv you never really see anyone experiencing incontinence issues unless it's a humiliating comedic moment at their expense and that's kind of scary
like sorry to be the bearer of bad news but people piss themselves. when they're afraid. when they've experienced mental and/or physical trauma and their body needs a way to express that stress. when they've been sexually assaulted. when they get older and their muscles start to wear out from a lifetime of service. a not insignificant majority of people Will experience incontinence in their lifetimes and while there are steps you can take to manage it for your own comfort and others', there's simply no moral dimension to it whatsoever. & like i'm not saying every show and movie needs checkhov's bed wetting scene but we have seriously got to get more okay with acknowledging that somehow.
also i think there is a larger issue at play here, which is how white-liberal ideology around the construction of "proper" behavior has done a number on how conflict vs. safety, and safety vs. comfort, are conceptualized in collective spaces, where for example any confrontation or interruption to actually address something potentially unsavory is seen as an escalation, borderline an act of violence the way it disrupts everyone having a good time, and "letting it slide"/moving past something/redirection is seen as a de-escalation and the righteous choice of "not taking the bait" or "being the bigger person" or whatever self-pat on the back. that is not what de-escalation is. conflicts and disagreements aren't inherently dangerous, and trying to prevent the existence of conflicts by entirely ignoring the issue because confronting it is uncomfortable and we do not want to "escalate" is not how safety is achieved.
i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"
while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"
well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question
third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"
i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."
and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3
Being critical of your interests is sooooo fun when you have the critic gene & then you sound kind of insane to the average tv watcher when you're like "this is my favorite show, It's Racist" & then you try to clarify what you mean & get that [Speech (legendary) - FAILURE] "the racism is really interesting though"
[Speech (legendary) - SUCCESS] I find the sociopolitical context of pulpy old sci-fi born circa the civil rights movement really fascinating to analyze especially when it was progressive for its time but still reveals the writers' unexamined biases in the subtext
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In January 2020, I attended Dr. Amy Cook's PLAY WAY seminar at Pasadena Humane Society. The seminar was about "social play" as a tool for rehabilitating reactive/stressed/fearful dogs.
"Social Play" has been defined as something different from playing with toys (tug, fetch, etc.) It is literally "goofing around" with your dog in a way that they like, that makes them happy. Body language responsiveness, movement and timing is everything.
Not only did we get to see some inspiring and entertaining video footage of Amy Cook playing with her dogs, some attendees had also brought their own dogs to play with, while Amy offered coaching.
We saw the Play Way live!
It was an amazing and delightful experience and I couldn't wait to get home to play with my 15 year old Boogie (now passed on) who hadn't been interested in Tug or Fetch in over a year due to his vision loss. The Play Way class was like learning a new language, a new vocabulary to play with my dog.
This infographic cannot possibly do justice to all the material covered in the Play Way seminar, which also focused on play as "therapy". For now, I hope this is enough to pique everyone's interest in the subject and how to be mindful and respectful of our dog's body language and of our own body language in conversations with our dog.
Also read: Whole Dog Journal article on The Play Way
Image description and text under readmore.
Description begins.
[image: Five pairs of dogs showing playful behaviors. From left to right: A dog playbows to another, a dog hipbumps another, a dog chases another dog that is running away, a larger dog rolls on its back, playfully wiggling to a smaller dog, and lastly, two dogs play bitey face.]
The Play Way with Amy Cook PhD. playwaydogs.com
illustrated by Lili Chin doggiedrawings.net
Social Play is an excellent way for a dog to be in a happy state of mind and to be physically relaxed or loosened up. Playing also lets us know if a dog is truly relaxed or concerned about anything, so we can more effectively help them feel better.
Good play is an INVITATION. We invite our dog when they are looking at us, not when they are busy. We don't pressure them, as grabbiness, pushiness, and nagging are a turn-off. Pause and greet again before making a new suggestion. If your dog doesn't take up your suggestion but is still attentive, try something new.
FLIRT! Use SUSPENSE.
Not all play involves touching, but good play will have an element of suspense! Take pauses. Do not rush.
Yes: Start with slower, softer energy.
Yes: Give your dog plenty of room to move around freely.
Yes: Invite, wait, listen to your dog's response (body language)
Yes: Take "no" as an answer. PAUSE. Try something different.
No: Don't make your dog feel trapped or overwhelmed.
No: Don't make your dog wrong.
You want your dog to feel SAFE to open up and play with you.
IF you touch your dog, use the 3-SECOND RULE. Pull back after 3 seconds, staying engaged. Does your dog come back to you?
[Image sequence: Greet: A human claps their hands then says hi and reaches their palms out towards a small dog, which wags its tail. Friendly Pause: The human pauses, kneeling on the ground gently reaching out towards the dog, which stands still, confused. The human leans back, bringing their arms back in. The dog orients to them, thinking: “maybe”. Greet Again, New Invitation: The human turns away from the dog, folding down towards the ground and turning their face to look at the dog from over their shoulder. They say, hello! The dog approaches the human. Then, the human taps their fingers along the ground, and the dog playfully investigates, thinking “interesting”. Finally, the human leans back up, still kneeling, playfully wiggling their fingers in the air in front of them, and the dog happily play bows.]
With SOCIAL PLAY, the use of toys or food is not essential because you are not teaching your dog how to play. You are playing with your dog and learning what they like!
[Image: A vertical gradient scale goes from a reddish 8 at the top to a yellow 1 down at the bottom. A dash-line box encloses the numbers 5, 4, and 3, and the happy faces of a human and dog.]
Be in your dog's ENERGY RANGE!
What is your dog's energy level?
If your dog is overexcited (eg, 8) slow down to a 6-7.
If your dog is unsure or shy (eg, 2) try 1-3.
Play is a CONVERSATION. Here are some ideas to develop a "play vocabulary" with your dog:
YOU are the PREDATOR!
* Stay on the floor
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. “Claw” Hands- Hands outstretched, fingers curled into “claws”. 2. Flat Hands- Hand outstretched, fingers pressed flat together, wrist bent back. 3. “Bitey” hands- A variation on “claw” hands where the fingers wriggle to “bite”. 4. “HAR” mouth- a human with their mouth open in a bitey-face gesture.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. The human play bows at the dog, kneeling with their arms splayed out onto the floor, saying “I’m gonna getcha!” 2. The human holds claw hands out towards the dog- Suspense! 3. The human gently pushes the dog back on the chest, saying “Silly puppy!” The dog pushes back towards the hand. 4. The human uses bitey hand to gently grab at the dog’s muzzle, and says “Bite you!” 5. The human uses a finger to poke the dog’s butt. 6. “Head butt!” The human gets on all fours and butts into the dog’s side with their head. 7. The human uses bitey hand to grab at the dog’s butt. “Bite your butt!”]
YOU are the PREY!
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. Hiding face- A human hides their face behind their hands. 2. Pulling away- A human on all fours leans away from the action. 3. Piano hands- a human dances their fingers across the floor. 4. Rolling, flopping over- a human rolls onto their back, legs in the air and arms folded into their chest.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. A human crawls away from a dog on all fours, then peeks over their shoulder at the dog, asking “Gonna get me?”. Then, the dog jumps up onto the kneeling human. The human rolls onto their back and celebrates with the dog, “You got me!” 2. The human kneels, folded forward onto the floor doing piano hands. They say “Hello”. The dog approaches, and the human hides their face from the dog. Then, the dog fake bites the human’s cheek, tail wagging. 3. A dog watches curiously as a human shakes out a blanket. The human then hides under the blanket and the dog climbs up onto them, thinking “You silly! I get you!”]
How is your dog responding?
[Image: a human kneels on the floor and watches as the dog walks away from them. It thinks “need to look.”]
If your dog disconnects from you and looks towards something more interesting or concerning (that is not too close), let them process the other thing. Don't pressure them to come back to you.
When you let your dog look and dismiss the other thing on their own, the more of their attention that you really have when you get it!
NOPE. You are being WEIRD.
[Image: four examples of a dog showing stress. 1. Look Away: A dog turns and looks away. 2. Shake off- A dog shakes off like they’re wet. 3. Stress yawn- A dog yawns. 4. Busy Sniffing- a dog sniffs the ground.]
At first you may get a lot of "Not Now"s. If your dog shows confused signals or becomes busy doing other stuff, hold back. (Especially with the “shy" dogs) Your dog may not understand what you are doing.
When they approach you again, check your energy level, greet again, and try something different.
[Image: A human wiggles their fingers at a dog, which play bows with an open mouth and says “Bite you!”. Another drawing of the dog play bowing facing forwards and panting, tail wagging.]
When you do something that your dog likes, they will keep coming back to you. Their bodies are loose and curved. They may roll around, jump on you, or fake-bite you. They may even laugh!
Now that you know what your dog likes, you can do it over and over again!
You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw
“The widely circulated timeline created by @Zerflin does a great job in showing how recently slavery & segregation occurred & that they lasted longer than the modern era.Â
“I'd like to offer this timeline as another way of viewing the same period of history to show the constancy of both Black resistance in US & efforts of the white power structure to maintain racial caste since 1619.”
I had the exact same experience the second time I looked at this picture as the first time. I was looking like "what is this green line? Like suddenly everything is OK? It's not. Racists are still trying to push us back to 1619. Nothing has been fixed. We still need to fight. Hard!
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There are a lot of people who start creative projects with no business or financial plan, because "who cares, it isn't important, we'll figure that out later". And you can't let yourself become that person. Not because I'm a sneering finance bro who thinks your woke animated youtube series wont make money, but because if you don't you'll wind up financially exploiting your friends for years
Look, it's none of my business if you wanna work yourself to the bone for no money so you can make your dream project a reality. I think you shouldn't, but also let's be real that's basically a rite of passage for young creatives. But as soon as you start involving other people? You need a plan. You need to be able to compensate them for their time, and you need to have it in writing
head in my hands, as someone who does extensive freelance TTRPG work - an industry in which the vast majority of those involved are doing it as a passion project/side hustle, and in which many people are friends with those they work for and with:
if you are doing any creative project with someone else in which money will be involved, make a contract. Doesn't need to be super formal. Get something laid out in writing that very clearly indicates what the person you are asking to do something is responsible for, the timeline in which they're expected to complete it, and the compensation they'll get for doing so.
"oh but we've been best friends since eighth grade" make a fucking contract.
"oh but this probably won't make much money anyway" make a fucking contract.
"oh but I don't know all that legalese" there are tons of pretty accessible templates available online if you research, just make sure it's one that suits your needs and you understand what's in it (it can be written in normal language without legalese, as long as it's clear), and make a fucking contract.
I've heard horror stories about this shit destroying projects, friendships, livelihoods, and in most cases the fallout could have been avoided (or at least mitigated) by having a clear legally binding document about everyone's responsibilities and compensation from the get-go. Do not assign someone work without a contract or some form of written agreement; do not work without a contract or some form of written agreement. please for the love of god.
The Trump administration is cynically exploiting calls for stricter AI regulation to pass broad censorship measures at the federal level.
So, in terrible news, Trump's trying to pull some strings to pass this massive internet censorship bill, featuring all the kinds of internet censorship we're terrified of, including mandatory ID for accessing basically any website, specifically to crush state regulation of AI, because apparently this man will always see the moral bottom of the barrel and start digging.
So, if you live in the US and hate censorship and AI you know what to do, contact your congresspeople and tell them do not fucking dare let this through or so help us god...
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