Nobody expects the Cuddly Inquisition!

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[video ID: an orange tabby cat lies next to a plasma ball. Voice 1: "yeah?" Voice 2: "[inaudible name] touch it" hand reaches into frame and touches the plasma ball, causing lightning effect. Cat is visibly curious. Hand pulls out of frame. Cat investigates and sniffs at plasma ball. Voice 2: [giggles] "he's tapping his nose." Cat sits up and, clearly mimicking the human's action, pokes and then places his paw on the plasma orb, creating a lightning effect which outlines his paw pads against the glass. Voice 2: [suppressed laughter] "you can perfectly see the little beans!" Cat removes paw from orb, sits back, and sniffs curiously in the air. Voice 2: [through laughter] "oh my fucking god" Voice 1: "that's the best thing I've ever seen." Cat reaches to sniff off screen. Voice 2: "oh now he's just going to eat my lamp." End video ID]

Quick correction! The cat wasn't reaching to sniff off-screen. It was sniffing the translucent ends of an LED lamp :)

you must think highly of yourself. there is no other option.

not now kitten. daddy only planned the first half of his wip, and now he has to figure out what the fuck to do for the other half.

MESSAGE TO ALL SICKOS: LIVE FOREVER