Aremo Shitai Koremo Shitai Onna no Ko ni Mietatte

As a former music teacher, I can also say that "learn the fundamentals first" is the death knell for a vast percentage of beginners, especially adult learners.

I've run into this with drawing several times, where some well-meaning artist has lectured me on needing to study anatomy properly or not use shortcuts like CSP brushes. And oh, believe me, I know. I know exactly how to learn an artistic discipline in a structured way. I just...don't want to!

The thing is, I'm not aiming to be a professional artist. I want to draw my gay little anime guys. I would undoubtedly improve at art much faster if I approached every gay little anime guy drawing as a study exercise. But I would also have quit drawing a decade ago if I couldn't just let myself enjoy drawing imperfect fucked-up little guys with whatever shortcuts I needed to body myself across the finish line.

With my adult piano students, my approach was always "What's your goal?" If their goal was to learn exactly one Elton John songbook to play at parties, then...that's what we did. We'd put tape on the keys to label the notes, and just fuckin go for it. Learning exactly one Elton John songbook is a good and noble musical goal, full stop.

Some of my students needed and enjoyed a more structured approach to learning; if they wanted to be able to play classical music, then yes, scales were going to have to enter the equation at some point. And yet others would learn the Elton John songbook, catch their white whale, and realize they wanted to explore more of the ocean. The scales were still there for them to learn!

Often the choice isn't between "learn art well" and "learn art imperfectly" - the choice is between "learn art imperfectly" and "don't do art at all." To which I say, learn imperfectly! Or, what the hell, don't 'learn' art. Just do, and enjoy the doing of it.

It's common enough that young black kids are told to keep any identifying information on them at all times just in case someone reports a black kid breaking and entering by walking into the house they've lived at since they were born. Because that has happened.

When you add mental illness and the healthcare industry into the mix, things only get worse from there. To be clear, you don't need to be black or mentally ill to be treated poorly by a doctor or nurse that's decided they know you better than you do. But it sure doesn't make things easier.

And people have died as a result- or have we already forgotten the death of Adriana Smith who went to THE HOSPITAL SHE WORKED AT AS A NURSE reporting severe headaches and was dismissed as exaggerating and imagining the severity, only to be declared brain dead upon arrival less than 24 hours later and artificially kept alive to force her dead body to carry her baby to term- which couldn't even happen and they had to remove him via C-section anyway.

I find it to be a sad, but unsurprising side effect of the ways people interpret his character and the stereotypes they apply to him, as well as a stereotype in its own right. And arguably the single biggest disservice done to his character by the fandom (I am not joking).

Creativity is a trait normally attributed to people who are rebellious, absentminded, sensitive, colorful, and expressive with their physical appearance and environment. Some interpretations of Vox might hit one or two of those, but for the most part he's treated as a Serious Businessman who only wears suits and is entirely focused on the real world. If he does have a creative outlet, it's something practical and tech-based like coding or electrical engineering. And of course, the most disparaging takes will outright say he's incapable of creativity because he just steals from and copies others.

Canon Vox doesn't really fit the creative stereotype either, especially when compared to the other Vees. He's the most business-minded, the one scolding the other two for rocking the boat, and the one who's rarely seen in flashy outfits. Where the other two have decked out their rooms with plants and hearts and comfortable furnishings, his rooms are tidy and minimalistic. And compared to Valentino in particular, who is explicitly a skilled artist and does fit the sentimental, absentminded stereotype to an extent (an extent that is pretty much limited to the other Vees, but still), Vox tries to keep people at arm's length and tends to come across as pretty goal-oriented.

The thing is. When you go in and divide the Vees into the Creative and Artsy Ones and the Boring Tech Guy. You are losing yet another thing Vox isn't insecure about.

Again, Valentino is a skilled artist, in multiple mediums, and Velvette is a professional designer (we haven't seen any of her drawn work, but there's a drafting table in her room). Meanwhile, Vox is a perfectionist who clearly enjoys creative pursuits, but is very much not as advanced as they are. He has every reason to hide the fact that he draws at all, never mind letting them see the results. But not only is he presenting his own art without fear of judgement, he's presenting imperfect work.

If you look at the right side of the rainbow on his drawing of the hotel crew, you will notice a random white patch that doesn't match the rest of the background. This would be a result of drawing on paper with something that doesn't erase, then deciding you want to change it. In this case, it seems like the rainbow was probably drawn over the hotel, and Vox didn't like how it looked. So he then used white to cover up everything behind the rainbow. But since it's a different shade of white than the paper, it isn't a subtle fix. It shows.

And he left it that way! Not only did he not redraw it, he still included it in his presentation and showed it to his professionally artistic friends.

Like. Fanon Vox does tech stuff. He codes or messes with electronics, with no competition from the other Vees, and he's good at it. He has to be good at it, because if he's not, it's not perfect.

Canon Vox makes collages with clippings that still have parts of the background attached, and draws pictures with big white blotches in the middle. He lets himself make things that aren't perfect, with physical materials that don't have an undo button, just because he likes doing it.

I repeat: Fanon Vox does tech stuff with no competition from his friends. Canon Vox draws, which his friends are better at. His sin on Earth was envy, which led him to kill people. His fatal flaw is that he always wants more than what he has. Yet here he is, engaging in something those closest to him do at a higher skill level, and enjoying it for its own sake. There is no compulsion to be better than them, or to sabotage them to make himself feel better, or even to hide the flaws in his own work. It doesn't matter if he's not the best, or if it's not perfect. He just likes doing it.

In a small, inconsequential, but very real way, he is acting against his sin by indulging his creative side for fun. And when he has a hobby that's different from the other Vees, which doesn't pose a threat to his ego and has no reason to wake his darkest impulses, he loses that.

And I exist in all corners of the queer spectrum. I also engage with alot of queer people and no 2 queer people have the same experience. The only thing all queer people have in common is being treated as diffrent from the norm.

For example alot of lesbian discorse is around the idea of decentering men and how eventually all lesbians do this. I live with my partner and people perceive us as saphic. I still irl talk to alot of stright men for alot of reasons. Family, work, friends. I interact with cis men offten. Which yes it is diffrent I'm not closeted and more me that looks more like trying to blend in with the boys than anything else. Still I'm not simply free of patriarchy becuase of who I'm with.

This is just a example. Ace, aro and nonbinary people also get alot of overly broad strokes to our experiences. Agin I talk to alot of people in thoughts groups and not 2 have the same experience. Yet I find people over confidentiality st as stateing THE experience for them.

Which yes there is a time and place for broad strokes but when they get excepted as the complet truth for everyone it's a problem.

you are not better than fat people!

even REALLY fat people!

even fat people who don’t put a lot of time into their appearance!

even fat people who wear clothes you think are unflattering!

your appearance literally does not make you better than a fat person. you are not more fun to hang out with because you’re not fat. you are not funnier, smarter, or more interesting by virtue of not being fat. you aren’t harder working, you don’t have more self-control, you don’t have your life more together.

the only difference between you and fat people is that they have to put up with a lot of harassment, discrimination, exclusion, and other bullshit that you don’t even think about.

Your health is not a reward for being a wonderful person, it’s pure fucking chance. It is fucking evil to think you’re superior to someone else because they’re suffering in ways you aren’t. Also, not all fat people are unhealthy and not all unhealthy people are fat, but even the fattest people whose health problems are connected to their weight are just as worthwhile, interesting, fun to be around, and worthy of dignity as you are. You are not a better person just because your size or health status is different.

No one owes you weight loss. And the idea that all fat people are “obsessed with food” and that’s why they’re fat is contradictory to the science. It’s none of your fucking business why or how the people you know are fat, and it’s ridiculous to act like people need a valid “reason” to be fat, but it’s also really insulting to reduce fat people to the one-dimensional caricatures you see on tv.

Bodies naturally come in different sizes and shapes. Always have, always will.

Thin bodies are not actually a default baseline, they’re just currently rewarded because being thin is a marker of economic status and it’s privileged within white supremacy, ableism/eugenics, and other axes of our disturbingly hierarchial culture.

Stop fucking acting like people should all be trying their hardest to be thin (even if you allow “exceptions” for people with “good reasons”!).

People exist in all shapes and sizes, and that’s ok and normal and not a problem to be solved.

Start recognizing that other people are human beings who deserve dignity and respect and kindness (not pity!) regardless of your fucked-up impulses to enforce hierarchies you’ve been taught by a misogynistic, white supremacist, ableist capitalist culture.

"trans woman should never want to associate with men" -> trans women who are into men or have relationships of any kind with men

"women are good but men are bad" -> multigender trans women, genderfluid trans women, trans women who are part of a system/collective

"no trans woman wants to look [anything other than white western standard of pericis woman](have a mustache/facial hair, have muscles, have a deep voice, have short hair)" -> intersex trans women and gnc trans women or simply trans women with a style that goes against the above

"no trans woman is ever thought to be a girl at birth or as a child" -> intersex trans women and perisex trans women who did have that experience

"trans women should know better than to adhere to beauty standards" -> trans women who enjoy things that are thought to be stereotypically feminine/adhere to beauty standards

"trans women are either straight or lesbians, you dont see trans women going around claiming to be gay for men/vincian/turigirls" -> trans women who are gay for men/vincian/turigirls

"trans women are defined by their dysphoria around their body and being seen as a man" -> trans women who dont have dysphoria

"no trans woman actually refers to their pre transition self as a boy" -> trans women who do feel like boy was an important part of their identity before coming out

I dunno, it just makes me sad. Because pointing out that some trans women do think/feel/want those things is seen as a sign that they're not "real trans women" or heavily misguided/manipulated instead of just. Trans women who exist as multifaceted and unique human beings.

“It’s easier for trans men to pass/be stealth!!”

Actually it’s easier for people with very specific bodies (white, thin, average height) with large incomes and supportive families to transition medically in a way which is more likely to conform to strict ideas of ‘man’ and ‘woman’

I swear every time I see someone try to make the argument for one of us having it better they exclusively either cite celebrities (again, see white, rich, thin) or assume that the people they know irl are representative of every trans person.

It also begs the point that YOU DO NOT KNOW IF SOMEONE IS STEALTH UNLESS THEY TELL YOU. No one actually knows how many trans people successfully live as stealth.

Most of the passing trans people I know personally are women, but most of the trans people I know to be stealth are men. I also know far more trans women than I do trans men. Not to ignore the fact that these arguments completely erase non binary people who are pressured to just pick a binary gender to ‘pass’ as because it is functionally impossible to be a ‘stealth’ non binary person.

So the official term for this, when a kanji is read one way in some contexts and a different way in others, is usually a case of onyomi vs kunyomi. -yomi, "reading" (from yomu "to read") basically categorizes words into whether you read them with the chinese pronunciation or the japanese pronunciation.

There are a lot of complicated factors that go into this but the easiest way for english speakers to wrap their heads around it is that the Japanese language ended up with multiple sets of vocabulary in the same way that the English language did with the Germanic language/Romance language split; you have one set of vocabulary for common, everyday use that derives from germanic vocab, and then another set of vocabulary for fancy, formal use that derives from Latinate vocab. The classic example is using swine to describe the animal, which the Germanic-speaking Anglo-Saxon farmers and handlers would tend to, and porc to describe the meat, which the French-speaking Normans would eat. But pretty much every word in the English language has some degree of casual-formal duplication of this kind.

Much like European scholars did with Latin, a bunch of vocabulary got imported by the literati of Japan starting around about the 5th century in order to have a different and more formal register to talk about certain topics. This was imported alongside the Chinese writing system at the same time, which then over the next few centuries was shifted into a simpler, non-logographic, syllabic script that became hiragana (the wavy one.)

But that means that a bunch of imported Chinese vocabulary was conventionally written in their original-or-close-to-it hanzi form, and spoken with their original-or-close-to-it Chinese pronunciation. Words of this type have a much higher incidence of long vowels, left over from the Chinese where each character would represent a single complex syllable varied by vowel intonation, compared to native Japanese words which are polysyllabic and hit more consonants.

So, the system has evolved in various directions over time, and now there are a lot of ways that a single character can be read depending on positioning and context, but the broad strokes are: if the kanji is mostly on its own, surrounded by hiragana, it will take the Japanese reading (kunyomi) and if it's part of a compound word, paired with other kanji, it will take the Chinese reading (onyomi.) The more formal the text -- especially notable with medical, scientific, or governmental texts -- the more dense and compacted it will get, with a much higher ratio of kanji compounds to hiragana, and a correspondingly higher dose of onyomi readings.

To leave off with one example: the video above highlights (手), which is 'hand.' When it appears by itself surrounded by simple words like participles, it takes the kunyomi te, like in the sentence 'take my hand' (手を握って, te o nigitte.) But if you are using it as part of a more abstraction concept, like in 手動 -- done by hand, or manual, see how the english term underwent the exact same shift into latinate when it gains a level of abstraction? -- then it becomes part of a compound word with another kanji. Now it takes the onyomi shu, to become part of the compound word shudou. Catch that long vowel! If it weren't part of a compound word, that 動 by itself would take the kunyomi hataraki, for motion or action.

'Troupe', 'troop', and 'thorp'. Loaned from French twice, as well as the homegrown term for a small village/group of houses.

'Pack', and 'bailey'. Native word and French loan.

"Sir', 'sire', 'seigneur' and 'Monsieur'. All from French at slightly different times and in different contexts.

Same with 'dame', 'dam', 'madam', and 'ma'am'.

'Mister', 'master', 'magister' and 'maître d'. All from Latin and French.

To 'spout' and 'spit'. First is from Dutch, second is native English.

To 'wake', 'watch' and 'wait'. First two are native English, third is from French.

To 'ward' versus 'guard'. Same word, but the second one was borrowed into Latin and then back into English from French.

"males and females" "AFABs and AMABs" "TMEs and TMAs" "You're TME, you'll never understand how scary it is to be a girl with a penis in the women's bathroom" (said to me, person who was literally beat up in middle school for being a girl with a penis in the girl's bathroom) "AMABs can never get cervical cancer, that's an AFAB only thing" "they won't let trans kids have hormones, but they'll give them to cis kids for free" "you can't be cis and trans at the same time" you can't be transfem and transmasc" "You can't be transfem if you were AFAB" "You can't be transmasc if you were AMAB" "RMAB and RFAB? Now you're just making things up" "All intersex people are biologically nonbinary" "I want to transition into intersex" "I'm such a b*eddel/f*ta/h*rm" "You're intersex? I'm so jealous, that means you get an easier transition right?" "I wish I was intersex, then I could get myself pregnant" "Trans people are brain intersex" "So what does it look like?"

people. those are the PUBERTY AGES. their body is about to go through a bunch of new changes that require ENERGY. that's why they suddenly have to eat a lot more. and yeah theyre gonna gain a few pounds, because this is like peak growing ages!!! they need to gain in order to grow.

"oh well its fine if you eat just make sure you're exercising everyday" yeah interesting how this is always given more to the chunkier kids. exercise. burn more calories. y'know, the stuff that gives you energy? the stuff you need to help you grow? yeah theyre making you fat so uh get rid of them. yeah.