we're not kids anymore.
will byers stan first human second
Origami Around
noise dept.
Andulka
h
romaâ
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
PR's Tumblrdome
#extradirty
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
todays bird
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Ireland
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
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seen from Germany
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@trader-j0e
Evil Hot Prince: I literally advertise myself as an evil hot prince. Look I even have "evil" in bold on my business card. I don't know what she was expecting. Also wifi is expensive, especially if you live in a world where the internet hasn't been invented yet.
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Hansel and Gretel
Good advice.
Please share
oh this is a life saver
So these are both âAw Fuck Iâm outta real foodâ meals BUT ALSO: if youâre learning how to cook, these are great âbaby stepsâ meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without âwastingâ anything expensive. Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.
Also theyâre great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.
Making basic storecupboard or fridge ingredients less basic and more nutritious.
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He looks like that guy from Monster House
KICK THE CAN!
Letâs play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
I donât really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean itâs a goddamn hat.
Right..?
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hatâŚ
Nothing ventured, nothing gainedâŚ
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THATâS AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of peopleâŚ
wait, does that mean?
oh boyâŚâŚ.
Luckily, this nonsense doesnât work on girls.
ObserveâŚ
ITâS GOTTEN BETTER!
This post is immaculate
It canât be true.
And it canât possibly work on motorcycle helmets.
I must test it.
Nothing happening so farâŚ
HOLY SHIT IT WORKS
What in the world?
Oh why not? This should be interesting.
Here we go!
Were all mad here in Underland!
What the hell! Never Again!
⌠Actually âŚ
One more time.
the-masters-shadow hahahahahahahhaahhahahahaa pffffdf
This is such a beautiful thing
Jesus christ
Ah, man. What a great post. *ties ballsack tightly with a hemp rope* TAKE IT FROM HERE DELORES! *Delores the amazon dressed in tight leather puts on a pair of spiked high heels. She starts stomping the sack* Oh! Ow! Oh god! Fuck yeah in the sack! Thats my sack! Oof! Oh! The sack baby, OHH!
yo what the fuck happened to this post
Iâm. Iâm not the only one seeing this right. Please tell me Iâm not the only one seeing this.
This must be what having a stroke feels like
Reblog if you think the person you reblogged this from deserves to be happy.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Guy whose family fled from communism: "Can you please not praise the man who tried to kill my family and destroyed their home country?"
American teenagers who have never experienced living under communism: "Well obviously your family deserved to be killed. I bet they were really the bad guys. How dare they keep too many chickens to themselves."
PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE JOKING. PLEASE.
I'm thinking the one about the chickens is sarcasm. The rest, though, are probably unfortunately real.
Ever since I got a job as a security guard I canât take heist movies seriously anymore.
Why is that?
Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that theyâre leaving the alarm key in the alarm because itâs always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.
The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guardâs voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.
The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically canât make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.
The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, âAnal use onlyâ. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. Thereâs no way around it, theyâre going to catch you. And youâre going to have to deal with the fact that youâve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say âAnal use onlyâ and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.
The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know thereâs no way in hell that would work.
The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.
The Team attempts to break into the high security room but canât because itâs randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.
The Team steals a keycard with âââââunlimitedâââââ access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.
The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, âWe are here to rob youâ. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.
Here's another also from personal experience:
The alarm goes off. By some miracle it's one of those that bypasses the on-site security and goes straight to 911. The dispatcher contacts a police officer. The police officer tells the dispatcher to call the security station on site and tell them to "check their damn alarms again". The dispatcher does so. Same process as above.
The icon for Banishment is so funny.
Just get outta here. Leave.
"You there. To Brazil. Now."
I live in the Mojave. Cracker Barrel has these outside. Moist.
Wait, dp they have vegetables, vegetas, or rain?
Based Mom in 1981:
Klaus Grabowski molested and murdered a 7 year old girl.
He confessed to the crime after his fiancĂŠ reported him to police.
Marianne Bachmeier, the girls mother, smuggled a handgun into the courtroom and shot Grabowski 5 times.
She served 3 years.
In a true and just world she wouldnât have served a single day behind bars
She did nothing wrong.
she served the community
"What did you feel as you killed him?"
"The recoil."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband had an accident at the Pianos, Anvils, and Comically Large Panes of Glass Incorporated factory...
"He was beaten by a roaming mob of feral mimes."
On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."
As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.
As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.
May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.
hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today
