Play fair. Fight dirty.

How the hell did he manage THAT?

I just tried to type the word "violate", but instead of hitting the "v" key I hit the "c" key. If you're really observant, you might notice, upon perusing your keyboard, that the "c" and "v" keys are right next to each other. A few of you who weren't raised by TikTok and didn't go through the California state public school system might be thinking right now, "Huh, 'violate' is a pretty common word and it's really easy to accidentally hit the wrong key on a keyboard. Meanwhile, 'ciolate' isn't a word at all. It really would make sense for any spellcheck program to put obvious typo corrections at the top of the correct word suggestion list, wouldn't it?"

And that's when your education and functioning brain would fail you, my friends. Behold the list of words the Chrome-based spellcheck (you know, the one made by Google, the biggest and most profitable tech company in the world) thinks I was trying to say instead:

Cholate.

Right now, you're probably asking yourself, "What is a cholate? Isn't that just "chocolate" misspelled? Is that what Professor Flitwick says when Cho Chang shows up late to charms class?" No, stupid, cholate is a bile acid anion that is the conjugate base of cholic acid. It has a role as a mouse metabolite and a human metabolite. It is a cholanic acid anion and a bile acid anion. Dumbass. How the hell could you forget that?

2. Collate.

Well this one is at least a word people use. Maybe the list is just in order from least to most common? Kinda weird, but okay. I'm not a moron. I can make inferences with the best of them and, not to brag, but my adult reading level lets me peruse three out of context words in mere seconds. And if that's taking too long, now that I've cracked the code I can just skip the first two suggestions and go right to the third and most commonly used word--

3. Cyolite!

....

What the fuck is a cyolite? Shit. This is embarrassing. Lemme just put that in the Google machine for a second and...

GOOGLE! WHY ARE YOU CORRECTING ME WHEN I SEARCH FOR THE WORD YOU USED TO CORRECT ANOTHER WORD I MISTYPED! WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING TO ME A WORD YOUR OWN FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE DOESN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY BE SEARCHING FOR??

And just in case you think I just got unlucky with "violate", try mistyping any word by hitting the key right next to it and see what Chrome (or any Chrome based browser, which is most of them) suggests. Hell, I'll try one more right now.

Mudge (Nudge)

The ongoing "Jason Todd is a cop" debate has reminded me of a brilliant brief image essay by Joey deVilla. So here it is, images first and the full essay text below: