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stitchposts

Hey if you're coming to Washington DC for the Fourth of July: don't

We're having our turn in the heat wave and reports from the National Mall are brutal already this week. That screenshot is today's forecast (courtesy of the Capital Weather Gang) and tomorrow and Saturday are confidently going to be worse than this is.

The national Mall has no shade on the grass and you will be exposed to the sun constantly while also experiencing extremely high humidity. You will not be allowed a bag over a certain size to enter the mall and it has to be clear. You cannot have an insulated water bottle, it has to be clear. Reports are that there are two entrances to the area so you'll have to wait in line to even get in. I cannot find a number on how many cooling stations there are, except that it's "few" to "none" depending on what accounts I read online. Vendors are allegedly charging more than the posted prices and seem to be unprepared for actual crowds - these are the official vendors not the scam food trucks that park all around the edges of the mall. And that's the extent of the planning done because it was not a priority to make sure attendees don't pass out.

My local friends and I have reached a consensus that tourists are going to get extremely sick and none of us know what the EMT response or planning is on the mall this year. People are going to die.

Please stay out of this. It's not worth your health. Get your relatives and family to stop. I can give you recs for so many DC museums and things to do if you want to make the most of your trip. Any other local can too.

lambbabies

At least 55 people on July 3rd were treated by EMTS or taken to the hospital at the national mall.

They also shut down that shitshow of a fair for hours because of the heat.

Our power grid is suffering, keep your ass in your own home or state.

There's NOTHING to see here anyway because he's got roads closed for bullshit and the East Wing is rubble and the Kennedy Center is covered in tarp. And he's just got planes going back and forth for HOURS.

He has destroyed this city. STAY HOME.

Also the fireworks show will be a legit health hazard he wants to set off almost 1 million fireworks. We're going to be on literal fire.

lambbabies

ANYWAY the president of the US is threatening to give a 4 hour speech on the 4th of July.

It's going to be about 107 degrees.

Here's hoping that he follows in the footsteps of president William Henry Harrison.

#fingers crossed!

girlnumbers

don’t piss me off. you don’t know who you are messing with.

mammalidentifier

Southern pudu (Pudu puda). This one is a fawn!

lilu-the-almighty

now you know who you are messing with

amrv-5

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

nightonblogmountain

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sophsun1

Clue (1985) dir. Johnathan Lynn

vashti-lives

It occurred to me today that you can use Miyazaki films as a really quick way to explain the difference between urban/modern fantasy and magical realism.

Kiki’s Delivery Service: takes place in the regular world— albeit at some nebulous point in time— but also magic is real and witches are a thing. Witches exist in this world because it’s fun and we like them. It’s fantasy elements in a familiar setting— essentially urban or modern fantasy.

Porco Rosso: takes place in an extremely specific place and time and contains exactly one fantastical element— Marco’s pig head— which is never given an explanation and is never questioned as a biological impossibility. It’s clearly a metaphor and commentary on a real world issue but it’s also very much literal. This dude 100% has a pig head. No other mentions of magic are made. This is magical realism.

This story brought to you by the fact that I’ve never seen a fanfic on ao3 tagged magical realism that wasn’t actually modern fantasy.

ryebreadgf

monstermonger

In the theme of a Dreamscape

-

(Continuation of postcard-sized prints I decided to choose)

friendlyfrankenstein

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

retroactivebakeries

kiradical

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

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themurderscene-deactivated20140

and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

rnyselfie

is that my chemical romance?

penceyprepster-deactivated20160

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

chxmical-rxmance

but it actually is my chemical romance

losered

this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen

gay-emo-quotes

I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.

linolinoing

guys pls don't die from the heat i love playing tumblr with you

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

cornposting

You’re really good at origami holy sh

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation

realpersonscifi

Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

same bitch

wetmetal

Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:

it weighed 68.6 lbs

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

same hellion yes

slowspinningredemption

pretty sure i just lost my editing gig to ai. hate and fucking war on planet earth.

slowspinningredemption

like they've already made it very clear by a) ghosting me for months and b) getting my colleagues to train their stupid new ai. like i only know about this because one of my colleagues tipped me off. i imagine they're waiting to get it working before they formally let me go and fuck that. i am literally drafting my resignation lmao

slowspinningredemption

guys. there has been an update. my spy colleague has informed me that my ex-boss is backtracking. the ai was supposed to speed things up because apparently i was unavailable too often but it turns out that another colleague has been lying about me telling him i was unavailable. i have email receipts proving this never happened.

this colleague also has beef with me because his documents were always garbage and i came back with a million corrections and called him out for mass copy-pasting. so he was just skipping the editing and saying i said i couldn't do it. and i lost my job because of it.

slowspinningredemption

ex-boss backtracked and ended up asking me if i'd come back not as a freelance contractor but on an actual employment basis.

slowspinningredemption

i declined.

slowspinningredemption

shoutout to all the people reblogging the version of this before my rejection letter. and especially shoutout to those people saying they're happy for me and that there's justice on this earth. i regret to inform you that my version of justice means choosing violence.

dovewithscales

This is a thing of beauty

pomgore

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

pomgore

goat dog

6qubed

that's a critter

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nateconnolly

Majoring in creative writing was a colossal mistake that ruined my life financially artistically socially and spiritually BUT i got to read aloud from My Immortal to a crowd of twenty horrified bystanders for academic credit. So I broke even

nateconnolly

The assignment was to bring a story written by someone else and share the first paragraph with the class. Nowhere in the assignment description or the syllabus did it specify that the story had to be good

mockwa

johnturturro

All dead… all rotten. Elves and men and orcses. A great battle, long ago. The Dead Marshes… yes, that is their name

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