not so much an armada as one REALLY BIG ship

That's because this is Silmarillion

it's so crazy how much worse u can make things by not leaving the bed or house or eating food

man if I gotta write bad fics, it should at least be easy! But it’s not! It is also hard to write this bad fic

Kevin, leaning over Seth’s coffin: how could you do this to us, we’re so short staffed.

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

This made me smile. Maybe you need a smile today too.

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

I like how from the perspective of a follower someone getting their life together to the point that they no longer post is exactly indistinguishable from them getting killed by a gas explosion

i noticed my horrible patterns! i think the process stops there

If u could bring dead ppl back 2 life with magic like in video games the hollywood stunt scene would be out of control. There'd be professional snuff actors winning awards for dying the best. Producers would be like "If u need somebody to get killed in a film call up Resurrection Eddie, nobody gets killed as good as Eddie"