ask me about my tentacles

The modern American Democratic Party needs more rednecks and hillbillies to succeed, I am so serious. They need to do more to target rednecks and hillbillies and break down their white collar elitist image Fox News has been harping on. It’s crazy, it’s not true, the Republican Party is doing everything in its power to ensure the rich get richer and the poor and middle class get poorer but if they keep hearing “GOP is the party of backwoods middle Americans who work for a living.” type of slop slop and they turn on the television and see Gavin fucking Newsome, they’re going to keep voting red mindlessly.

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.

“this is how you age when you’re unproblematic” NO! stop assigning moral weight to attractiveness! I am not hot because I’m a good person! I am hot because all of my friends are gorgeous! I’m absorbing their beauty! Like a vampire! Because I’m evil!

The term “situationship” is KILLING romance!

Why take something beautiful and fascinating like an undefined impractical romance and describe it with some vape-esque word like situationship. A spiritually heterosexual word. You’re supposed to write genre defining poetry about this kind of madness, and yet “situationship” is the term we’re choosing to use these days. OKAY.

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

"sound of the summer is this song" WRONG. its cicadas

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial