A Complete Mess Of Random Shit.

At which point they will find an ovarian cyst, but they now get whatever fucked up satisfaction they derive out of proving you wrong, because you didn't believe it could a cyst at all, but guess what? They did find a cyst! It's such a good thing you didn't listen to your intuition and came to them to verify your lay diagnosis from that third party! Bonus? Doctor doesn't have to feel like they look stupid in front of a patient, which is really what all this is about. Not your health, why would you think your medical diagnosis is about your health? It's obviously about a doctor's potential ego.

And apparently this works. Apparently you just need to be able to always play 4D chess with your medical professionals in order to find an avenue of advocating for yourself and getting you medical needs met. Isn't that great?

The Amur Leopard and Clouded Leopard (which recently celebrated its 50th cub born at the zoo!)

The Sumatran Tiger

The Red Ruffed Lemur and Ring-Tailed Lemur

The Cotton-Top Tamarin and White-Cheeked Gibbon

The Colobus Monkey and De Brazza’s Monkey

And the Mexican Spider Monkey!

—

Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), “Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal.” I think this poem may be making the rounds, this week, but that’s as it should be.  (via oliviacirce)

When I lose hope in the world, I remember this poem.

This one hurt, her work had such a profound effect on my life, thoughts, and politics.

May her memory be a blessing

FLY is a story about a boy who gets a second chance. Help his story take flight June 9th 11am EST on Kickstarter. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings I hope this story lifts the world to a brighter place.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

Men create drama in relationships too.

It is not just women being emotional or acting crazy.

No… sometimes the chaos, the tension, the tears, the frustration… it all starts with a man being deeply inconsiderate and extremely selfish.

A man ignoring her needs.

A man disregarding her feelings.

A man doing things he knows would hurt her, then pretending he did not know better.

And here is where it gets unfair.

He will swear he does not like drama, but his actions keep creating it.

He will call her too sensitive when she reacts to the things he intentionally downplays.

He will accuse her of overreacting when she has been holding in disappointment for weeks, months, maybe even years.

The cycle is exhausting.

He crosses boundaries, betrays trust, disrespects her values… then stands back and watches her unravel… only to label her as the problem when she finally speaks up.

What is really happening is this

Men do things they would never tolerate if the roles were reversed.

They flirt with temptation, neglect effort, withhold communication, break promises… and then act confused by the backlash.

Suddenly they are the victim.

Suddenly they are the ones who can not do anything right.

It is manipulation disguised as cluelessness.

It is accountability being dodged behind fake confusion.

It is the ultimate gaslighting… creating the fire, standing in the middle of the flames, and blaming the person holding the extinguisher for being too intense.

The truth is, women are not dramatic for no reason.

Most women do not want to fight.

Most women do not want to argue.

Most women are not looking for a reason to nag.

They are reacting to the blatant lack of consideration.

They are reacting to being left unheard, unseen, and unprioritized.

They are reacting to selfishness masked as that is just how I am.

And instead of reflecting on how they contributed to the problem, many men sit comfortably in victimhood, because it is easier to call her crazy than admit they were careless.

If you want peace in a relationship, it takes more than demanding a drama free woman.

It requires being the kind of man who does not create situations that force her to defend herself, chase clarity, or beg for respect.

Because peace does not just exist on its own.

Peace is something you build together… through effort, honesty, respect, and mutual care.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."

And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."

And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

Civics class wouldn't help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.

Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.

They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.

And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.

This didn’t happen because I’m special because of my tiny therapy practice.

This happened because this is what the AG office is for.

“The problem is systemic” doesn’t mean “and there’s nothing you can do”.

Then you've been trained well by "The System".

Yes, that System you say can't be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that "small" acts of illegality don't matter? Who made you think that there's no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?

Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?

Gonna pause and let you ponder.

Never. Ever. EVER.

EVER.

Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don't win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don't try. You'll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I've done it.

So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say "someone is doing a crime" and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they'd just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can't happen if you don't even bother to report the Fucking Around.

On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don't but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it's not okay, report them! See something, say something.

Don't let the System win by default.

If you believe The System™️ is only for Them™️ and not you, it will only ever be so.

So I asked @moniquill what special medical words to use and wrote it in the form and sent it away.

I didn't consent, I was not informed, etc.

And I sat back and waited, and lo and behold, suddenly they send me a letter saying oh that dentist I saw for five seconds was in network after all.

ALWAYS APPEAL. Write to your Attorney General. That is your right, that is what the AG is for, as previous have said. The AG serves YOU, the people.

And insurance companies and hospitals are just school bullies trying to intimidate you into giving up your lunch money. But they're paper tigers.

Not even in a dramatic way. Just… constantly alert. Constantly thinking ahead. Constantly waiting for something to go wrong, even during good moments.

And after a while, stress stops feeling temporary. It becomes the background noise of your entire life.

You wake up already tense.

You struggle to fully relax because your brain immediately starts searching for the next problem.

You feel guilty resting because part of you thinks you should always be preparing for something.

Even peace can start feeling unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable, because your nervous system got so used to surviving.

I think people underestimate what prolonged stress does to a person.

How it slowly changes the way you exist.

How you stop knowing the difference between being productive and being in survival mode.

How your body forgets how to soften.

How exhausting it is to carry invisible tension every single day for years.

And sometimes the saddest part is realizing you don’t even know how to function without it anymore.

You don’t know how to stop overthinking.

How to stop anticipating disappointment.

How to stop bracing yourself emotionally before anything has even happened.

But if this sounds like you, I hope you know this gently:

You are not broken for struggling to relax after living in stress for so long.

A nervous system that spent years trying to protect you does not suddenly learn safety overnight.

That constant alertness is not weakness.

That exhaustion is not laziness.

And the fact that rest feels difficult does not mean you are failing at healing.

It just means your mind and body have been carrying too much for too long.

So please be patient with yourself.

Be patient if you don’t know how to slow down yet.

Be patient if calmness feels unfamiliar.

Be patient if you are still learning that you do not have to earn rest by completely burning yourself out first.

You deserve a life that feels softer than survival.