Don't mind my butt

the rumors are true: i dont feel very good

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

lots to discuss w myself in shower therapy tonight

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

I am the cherry on top.

(seriously unwell) don't you think he'd look nice in the garden of eden shamefully covering himself with leaves

girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go like feathers falling from an angel's wings

got drug tested and I showed up positive for the amulets curse

stop tagging the white hockey man whos hopelessly dependent on the amulet