Don't mind my butt

bilf (book i'd like to finish)

Sometimes you really gotta quadruple check you didn't send that nasty text to grampa

Felt weird and now its everyones problem

the point of fanfiction is to write something so self indulgent that nobody else has thought of it before or cares

for my next trick i‘ll need a gun

a hockey player during the off season is a kind of dead wife

me and my layer of mold have no strong feelings about this

sorry i am in fact a fan of when nhl guys sit down with shorts (that are already probably kindof short) and their massive thighs make them ride up and then they also manspread like crazy so now the shorts seem like micro shorts and thus in their effort to show masculinity they end up whoring themselves out

the way being horny makes you genuinely insane

okay i’m done with off season now. let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey. play hockey so i can watch it and you do new things and i can watch it and and and and

okay i’m done with off season now. let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey let’s watch hockey. play hockey so i can watch it and you do new things and i can watch it and and and and

ohh i get it now (doesn’t)