Kill Zero Birds With a Great Many Stones

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

im so fucking stupid

Imagine how many great, weird, awesome stories would exist if writers actually wrote instead of scrolling on tumblr

u know what i didn't come here to be attacked like this

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."

​A reminder that when the Boston Bruins organization signed Mitchell Miller, each one of the Bruins star players got in front of the media and said that Miller wasn't welcome in their locker room. The Bruins ended up having to rescind the signing because the players made it clear there was no path for Miller on the team. So, yeah, I will be judging each and every Vegas Golden Knights player who doesn't do the same, and yes, that includes Mitch Marner.

listen. I'm a Montreal fan.but if anyone has vids of this, I need them. For... sciencd

actually it is insane that "he's a renter" is your 'first of all' when accused of being in love with your best friend whose house you live in Evan Buckley

It's crazy that your "he's straight" was your second of all, instead of denying your feelings, Evan Buckley.

it's wild that your ex-boyfriend's response to "he's straight" it scofffing

she's a 10 but she cries anytime someone mentions trading collin graf

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

We interviewed her, obviously.

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

I found it!! The original post!!

HAS SHE SEEN SINNERS