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Summary: Robby just wanted to leave a polite comment. Instead his life becomes significantly more complicated without him ever noticing.
Part 7 of the A Good Reason To Keep Going series
Characters: Dr. Michael (Robby) Robinavitch, Jack Abbot, Victoria Javadi ... and a cat (at least a little)
--- --- ---
The motel room was quiet. Quiet in that strange way motel rooms always were - the air conditioner hummed softly, somewhere outside a truck rolled past on the highway, distant enough to barely register.
Robby sat propped against the headboard, one leg stretched out, television running quietly in the background without him actually paying attention. Mr. Abbot meanwhile had claimed approximately eighty percent of the bed - which somehow felt excessive considering he weighed only ten pounds and was missing a whole limb. He twitched lightly in his sleep, one paw stretched dramatically before he settled again.
Robby looked over, shook his head once then reached for the bottle of water on the nightstand. The clock said it was well past midnight - and he should probably be asleep by now.
He took a long sip - and noticed the napkin, still half shoved into the pocket of his jacket laying on the floor next to the bed. The napkin with the scribbled instagram handle.
“Right.” He dragged one hand across his face. “Whatever.”
He leaned down and took it, holding it in his hand while grabbing his phone. He opened Instagram - and immediately got logged out.
“Yeah, well, great.”
He stared at the login screen demanding a password - and his mind went blank.
Twenty minutes later, after several failed attempts and one brief moment where he just wanted to throw the damn phone against the wall, the app finally opened.
His profile made him physically grimace:
@MRobinavitch5384
Bio:
Emergency Medicine
Based in Pittsburgh, PA
14 followers, 38 following
His profile picture looked ancient. And his postings?
He rolled his eyes at himself when he scrolled through them - which was fairly quick, because there were only three of them.
His first post was a conference picture. He was standing on a stage, mic in hand, wearing a suit, talking about something while smiling toward the audience.
Caption: Emergency Medicine Conference (ACEP, Denver/Colorado, 2019)
The next post was a half-empty coffee mug sitting on a cluttered counter in the emergency department’s staff room. Disinfectant bottle visible in the background.
Caption: Fuel for another shift. Posted in April 2020.
And his last post was dated back to September, 6th 2020. A slightly blurry photo taken while walking home after a shift. You could see streetlights, wet pavement - an empty alleyway. Some trashcans on the side.
Caption: Keep going.
Robby swallowed hard looking at this last one. His stomach twisted uncomfortably and he clicked it away fast.
Mr. Abbot lifted his head briefly, glancing at him with big green eyes then immediately went back to sleep.
Robby shook his hand and took the napkin. He typed in the woman’s handle and found her instantly:
@sydgoesoutside
Bio:
Somewhere between coffee stops
Hiking • Travel • Road Trips
Professional snack enthusiast
Iced coffee addicted
714.000 followers, 365 following
Robby stared at his screen for a moment. “Jesus Christ.”
This woman apparently posted every six minutes - skincare videos, travel pictures, coffeeshop recommendation, sometimes rants about pitstop toilets, videos about shopping in various supermarket chains, hiking pictures.
Robby had to scroll - and scroll - and scroll until - he found the picture she posted about meeting Mr. Abbot and him.
More accurately - pictures. There were various of them.
Mr. Abbot dramatically stretched across Robby's shoulders. Mr. Abbot laying on his lap, looking directly into the camera. A selfie of her and Mr. Abbot, who looked ridiculously photogenic. Mr. Abbot sitting on the pavement like the little diva he was.
Robby smiled at the photos before reading the caption:
@sydgoesoutside
Guys, today I met the SWEETEST unexpected road trip duo. Stopped at a little burger place in the middle of nowhere - because I needed an iced coffee IYKYK - and ended up having a chat with this biker guy and his adorable cat.
Cat’s name: Mr. Abbot (literally obsessed with that choice!)
And apparently Mr. Abbot rides on the motorcycle with him??!!! 😭😭 At one point the cat even climbed onto the biker guy’s shoulders and absolutely refused to move so I just HAD TO get a picture!
And before anyone asks:
🚫No I didn’t get his name
🚫No I don’t know his route
🚫No clue what he does for work or where he comes from
🚫 Yes he has IG but couldn’t remember the handle 😭
So, if this somehow reaches this mystery silver fox biker cat dad: Say Mr. Abbot HIIIII from me!!!! 🧡
Robby smiled down at his phone, then tapped the little typing bubble to add a comment. He thought about it for a moment, then wrote:
Nice meeting you as well. Mr. Abbot says hello back. Hope the remainder of your trip goes smoothly!
Then he liked the picture and put the phone down again. He stifled a yawn.
“Well, time to hit the sack, huh? Need to get on the bike again in a couple of hours” he mumbled to no one in particular.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Victoria noticed the comments a couple of days later while she was standing in line for her coffee before shift. At first she ignored them.
People always commented weird things under her videos. That came with having a million followers and occasionally going viral for giving selfcare tips while being - or going to be - a doctor. And most comments she got were normal - questions about med school, about specific diagnoses or people just saying thank you for helping her with her videos.
But then she noticed the same question appearing over and over again (in various variations):
DO YOU KNOW THE CAT DAD BIKER GUY?!!!
IS CAT DAD BIKER GUY YOUR ATTENDING?!
PLEASE TELL ME YOU WORK WITH HIM
Finally she caved and clicked on one of the links attached which led her to an Instagram post. The moment the picture loaded she gasped out loud.
“No way!”
Sitting there in broad daylight, looking mildly confused but still smiling, a three-legged orange cat draped across his shoulders was Dr. Michael Robinavitch, her attending - and apparently internet-famous cat dad.
She scrolled down to read the caption - and that’s where she saw the number of likes and comments. The post had exploded.
Thousands of likes and comments, countless shares - and the influencer had also shared a story with a screenshot of the post with Robby's comment under it, tagged with: GUYS!!! HE FOUND THE POST!!! MR. ABBOTS DAD IS HERE @MRobinavitch5384!!!
Victoria started reading the comments, mouth still hanging open, completely oblivious that the line had moved and people were already walking past her, giving her funny looks while she stared at her screen.
The cat is cute but respectfully I’m looking at the doctor
Why does he look like a divorced dad in the most attractive way possible?!!!
Respectfully that man could ruin my life.
Respectfully I would let him.
No, actually disrespectfully.
We detected a DILF!
Why does he look like he owns exactly one jacket and has had it for twenty years?!!
HE LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD ASK FOR PERMISSION BEFORE KISSING YOU
If he told me the bridge was safe I’d cross it
He looks so fucking lonely, my heart is breaking for him. Can someone please save him?
SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR INSTAGRAM ETIQUETTE
That confused smile is doing things to me.
I need everyone in this comment section to be normal for five minutes. We’re scaring him away.
He looks like he has a thermos in his truck that’s older than I am.
That man also owns one extremely comfortable flannel and refuses to replace it.
ZADDY ALARM!!!
WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE FIXES YOUR PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS?!!
HE TYPES LIKE HE WRITES THANK-YOU CARDS
I have no clue what’s wrong with him but I swear I can fix him
IS HE GAY?!!! I need to know if I have a chance asap
I’m sorry but silver fox biker cat dad is an unfair combination
LOOK AT THE DAD BOD I’M LOSING MY MIND
I’M SCREAMING YOU’RE ALL SO WAY OUT OF LINE AND I LOVE IT
That smile would be great between my legs, just saying
THE CAT IS LIVING MY DREAM SITTING ON HIS LAP ALL DAY
DOES ANYONE KNOWS IF HE’S MARRIED?
But honestly - is he okay? He doesn’t look okay.
He looks like he smells like cigarettes and gasoline but he would absolutely shower before anything would happen
I CAME FOR THE CAT AND STAYED BECAUSE APPARENTLY I HAVE A TYPE
The cat is cute but respectfully I’d climb that man like a tree.
Victoria made a face, slightly amused. She knew the internet dynamic well enough to know what happened here:
Instagram was collectively thirsting over Michael Robinavitch of all people.
She kept scrolling - and eventually found a reddit post with twenty-three thousand upvotes.
She read the title (WE FOUND THE MYSTERY CAT DAD AND SOMEHOW HE RUNS AN EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT AND IS DR. J’S BOSS?!!!), groaned - then clicked on it.
Her eyes grew wild.
Apparently the post contained a whole timeline:
“Okay, so for everyone who came here from the viralIG post, here’s the timeline because I’ve seen the same question about fifty times.
Travel influencer @sydgoesoutside posted pictures of a middle-aged biker guy and a three-legged cat named Mr. Abbot. She stated that she didn’t know his name, she didn’t know where he was from, she didn’t know his route and she didn’t have his handle.
At this point in time we collectively accepted that we’d never see Silver Fox Cat Dad again.
A couple of days later the guy commented. And the actual comment was (and I shit you not): Nice meeting you as well. Mr. Abbot says hello back. Hope the remainder of your trip goes smoothly!
The influencer then posted a screenshot of this to her story and tagged him. And so the world got introduced to @MRobinavitch5384.
His profile contained some information about him. Apparently he works in emergency medicine and is based in Pittsburgh, PA.
He has three posts containing pictures from a conference in 2019, a coffee mug and a blurry alleyway.
No cat content.
No bike content.
This led to the easiest Google search in human history:
Robinavitch + Pittsburgh + emergency medicine
The first result was from the faculty listing of the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center.
There we found Michael Robinavitch, MD. Head of Emergency Medicine.
Same face. Same guy. Just a couple of years younger and less grey on his temples.
Then people noticed something else. Several users pointed out that TikTok creator @DrJ regularly mentions working in Emergency Medicine, being based in Pittsburgh and working at the PTMC.
Which leads to the conclusion: DrJ and Dr. Cat Dad are working at the same hospital in the same department.
And now people are starting to comment under her videos to see if she really knows this guy. Up until now she neither confirmed nor denied it. So… the case remains open…
Things we know:
Doctor
Biker
Cat Dad
Runs an Emergency Department
Has not posted on Instagram since 2020
Things we don’t know:
Why he brought his cat on this trip?
Where he’s currently traveling
Is he still employed at the PTMC?
Will he be reading the comments?
Why is the cat named Mr. Abbot?!!
Why does his username end with 5384?!
Final thoughts:
I originally clicked the post of Syd because of the adorable cat. And I stayed because somehow this entire thing became weirdly wholesome. But still contains enough mystery to scratch an itch I didn’t know I had.
Please do NOT bother this man.
And Dr. Robinavitch - please post more cat pictures. And tell Mr. Abbot we also said hi.”
Victoria groaned quietly.
“Fantastic” she muttered. “Absolutely fantastic.”
The amusement she’d felt first shifted into something different. Something that settled heavier in her stomach. Because the internet wasn’t entirely wrong. That was probably what bothered her.
Not the jokes. Not even the thirst (even when this made her really uncomfortable because for her Dr. Robby was as asexual as her own parents). It was the weirdly accurate observations about exhaustion and loneliness.
People who had never met Dr. Robby somehow looked at some Instagram posts and figured out things she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted strangers figuring out.
There had been rumours after he had left for his Sabbatical.
About people worrying about his mental health. About his weird behavior towards the paramedics who misdiagnosed the patients because they didn’t placed the EKG right due to her large breasts. About him lashing out on Samira for having a panic attack. About a conversation happening between him and Dr. Abbot. The weird comment he made to Whitaker about him having a swinging bachelor pad if Robby wouldn’t come back.
But that’s all it was - rumours. No one actually knew what was wrong with Robby. And Dr. Abbot was the last one to spill any tea about his colleague.
So reading this comments felt weird - and wrong.
And the worst thing was that Dr. Robby probably had no idea this was happening. There was no universe where he was checking Instagram on a regular basis. He had probably left a polite comment, closed the app and moved on with his life. Meanwhile thousands of strangers were now emotionally attached to him and his cat.
She stared at her phone for another moment, then sighed heavily. She knew there was only one person she needed to talk to. But she wasn’t sure if she was brave enough to do so.
Because the fact that Robby had named his cat after him showed her that these two were closer than she thought. And how on earth would you open a conversation when you knew this?
Handover had already ended. Chaos settling into the usual strange overlap between day shift exhaustion and night shift dread. People drifted out of the department, visibly delighted. The nightshift crew stood around the nurses’ station, doing their huddle: “We are the night crawlers. We deal with the weirdest and the wildest because we are the weirdest and wildest of them all. That’s right and tonight they are really gonna be crawling. Now go get some. HOOAH!”
Jack turned around - and noticed Victoria lingering nearby. Which was unusual. Because usually Victoria disappeared very fast after handover (which he could fully understand - with twenty-one he had also better things to do than spending his free time at work).
He furrowed his brows. “You alright?”
She startled slightly. “Um. Yeah.” There was a small pause. Then - “Dr. Abbot?” She seemed nervous. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
He frowned, scanning her face immediately. “Yeah, sure. In private?”
She nodded.
He gestured toward an empty room. The second the door shut behind them he turned toward her.
“You in trouble?”
Victoria blinked. “Um. No. But-” She cleared her throat, already pulling out her phone. “But do you know that Dr. Robby became some kind of an internet phenomenon?”
That was met with silence.
Jack blinked once. “Um, excuse me, what now?”
She immediately regretted forcing this conversation because somehow saying “Your friend is internet famous because of his cat and women are thirsting over him” to Dr. Abbot felt insane. So instead she awkwardly held up her phone. “Just look, maybe?”
Jack took the phone and looked at the Instagram post on the screen. His brows furrowed immediately.
There was a young woman next to Robby, who was wearing a dusty riding jacket and a weird little smile. The orange cat lay around his shoulders.
Jack paused. “Oh, what the hell?”
Victoria nodded quickly. “Yeah. Exactly. But, um, the comments are… well… something else.”
Jack started reading. When he stumbled across the DILF comment his eyebrows raised. “Oh, Jesus Christ. Really?”
Victoria relaxed a little - at least he wasn’t mad at her for showing him that. And obviously he hadn’t known about this post.
Jack paused. “He commented under that post?”
“Um, yeah. That’s how they found his Instagram. And his workplace. Because his username isn’t exactly anonymous.”
Jack closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a sigh. “I see.”
“So, you see I’m kind of… um… an influencer” she said quickly, a little embarrassed by saying it out loud. “And-”
“I know about your channel, Dr. J” Jack said with a knowing smile.
“Oh.” She paused startled, then cleared her throat. “Um, yeah and you see, they somehow made the connection between Dr. Robby and me and now they want to know if he’s my attending.”
Jack sighed. Long. Deep. Tired.
Because of course this happened to Michael while being on his suicide mission. Somehow his deeply depressed best friend accidentally became internet bait.
He looked back at the photo, then handed her the phone back. “Victoria.”
She straightened immediately.
“I’ve got two favors to ask of you.”
“Of course, Dr. Abbot.”
“First - I’d appreciate if you kept this to yourself. That means - not a single word to any of our coworkers. And also no posting in any of your group chats.”
She nodded immediately.
“Second - please don’t react in any way to the comments asking about Michael. Don’t feed them any more information about him.”
Victoria nodded again. “Yeah, sure, no problem, Dr. Abbot. I won’t say a thing, I promise.”
“And if anybody asks?” Jack continued, shrugging a little. “You don’t know anything.”
“Got it” she replied quickly. Then after a tiny pause added: “Did you know about the cat?”
Jack blinked, then laughed. “Yeah.”
“Why did he name him after you?” The question stumbled out faster than she wanted. When she noticed what she just asked her eyes grew wide. “I mean - if you want to tell me.”
He looked her up and down for a moment, then shrugged. “I guess because the cat is missing a leg.”
“Oh!” Victoria nodded instantly. “That makes sense.”
Jack shrugged again. “I think he wanted to be funny and now the name stuck.”
They stood together in silence for a moment, then she glanced up. “Is he okay?”
Jack paused, letting out a small sigh. “He’s working on it.”
“Okay.” She nodded like she understood what he meant. “I’ll keep it quiet.”
He smiled. “Thanks. Appreciate it. And now go home. Or do you want to work a double?”
She stared at him in horror. “No way” she exhaled, already halfway toward the door. When she reached for the handle, she turned around again. “Um, do you think he knows what a Zaddy is?”
Jack stared at her. “No” he replied quickly. “And I don’t think he should know.”
She started to grin. “Same” she said. “Have a good shift. Dr. Abbot.”
“Good night, Victoria.”
She disappeared. Jack watched her leaving, then putting his face into his hands.
“For fucks sake, Michael!” he exclaimed, rubbing his eyes. “You’ll be the death of me, you fucking DILF.”
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Normalize leaving unhinged comments on ao3 fics you like. I'm tired of being the only one brave enough to write "I am chewing on this fic" in the comment section. Be weird. Authors will love you for it
Have you seen the casting announcement for Troy Barret? It's Luke from Julie and the Phantoms!!! I'm so happy for Charlie Gillespie!!!!
I just saw! I haven't read any of the books so I am getting the downlow from the group chat now lol. But very happy Charlie was cast in the Good Butts Show. Go do the Phandom proud, buddy.
Sex has been different for Robby for the last couple of years, perhaps even before he hit the half-century mark. Sometimes, it takes a while for him to get hard, and at other times he can't do it without a little bit of help. And lately, it has been taking him a while to come, if he does that at all.
That's why he decided to date people closer to his age range, or whatever fucked-up version of dating that he had going on ever since Janey broke up with him and Heather left.
Dennis Whitaker is, undoubtedly, far too young for Robby —hell, he could be very well be the kid's father. Not only that, but he had been a med student doing his rotation at the pitt not so long ago, he still is an intern there, working under Robby.
And yet, that didn't stop Robby from falling into bed with him. Well, he told himself, he was already beyond fucked up, what's a bit more? Besides, Dennis would soon realize how old and damaged Robby was when compared to his youthful self, and he would leave rather quickly.
But, if anything, Dennis seemed to grow more comfortable with Robby every single day, even the things about his age that he despised, Dennis seemed to love them. Whenever Robby got up from the couch with a grunt, there was Dennis, looking at him with dark eyes and biting his lip. If Robby used his glasses to read something, half of the time Dennis would sit on his lap and kiss him hungrily.
The most obvious thing was with the sex. Robby had been embarrassed at first, surely Dennis could find someone who would match his stamina and desire better — not that Robby didn't want him, but he was aware of his limitations. However, the first night he couldn't get it up, despite Dennis looking up at him with those big eyes and his tempting body shivering under his hands, the younger man hadn't protested at al. Instead, he had pushed Robby down into the mattress, kissed all over his body before settling in between his legs, and then taking his flaccid cock on his mouth for what felt like hours. Robby had to nudge him awake because Dennis had snoozed off with it still in his mouth, sucking sleeply and comfortable.
Now, whenever they're at work and he sees Dennis biting a pen absently, his cock gives a valiant twitch inside his pants, remembering how warm and wet that soft mouth of his feels.
Yet Dennis' favorite thing, apparently, is when Robby takes a while to finish. Robby still remembers being young, being able to come multiple times the same night and still being hard afterwards; it has been a while for him, but it seems Dennis has plenty of energy to spare. So he can fuck his boy until his back is aching, until Dennis is sobbing and shaking from the overstimulation and his cock is merely twitching over the small puddle on his stomach, all while Robby still has to come once.
The most wounded part of Robby having a little heart to heart with the most wounded part of Jack.
Alternatively, I truly think that reading ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse’ would be a healing experience for Robby (though, potentially, healing in the way debriding an infected wound is healing).
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days
I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.
I found out my body cannot handle opioids.
my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.
do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA
Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!
I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this
I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately
starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet
this guy is getting the true moral of this story
I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation
you and me both! isn't nature beautiful
you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are
god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse
I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too
honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again
fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi
you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea
I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so
THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second
the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ
I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"
I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine
don't carbon date me like this
Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long
they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating
what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!
the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?
to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.
all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”
I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call
EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn
my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky
I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often
- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends
- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch
- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️
- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself
- Murderbot TV series good :)
- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen
- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation
- who the fuck is Job
please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole
can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes
I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus
no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay
can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them
no this is Patrick
I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"
take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen
you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider
areudirty
gamechangershow
tangentwithtanner
turnnoffyourmind
2087
titsay
izzy806
