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When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her “Why aren’t you married yet?” and she’d reply “Just lucky, I guess” which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard
Tag game: 5 questions about your current writing project
Tagged by the amazing @floating-in-the-blue, thank you!
Fanfic or Original? Title?
Fanfic. The actual title is a Problem For Future Inny, the working title is just the Pittleverse.
First two sentences of your current project?
He'd had to be more careful ever since Trinity caught him. He still wasn't sure how she found him, he never took the elevator or the regular staircase.
Most recently written sentence of your project?
He wasn’t scared anymore. Not of this. Never of this.
Favorite line(s) in your current project?
So many bits, but here's a recently new one:
“Oh, I see how it is,” a soft voice in the door opening said. “Dennis needs a nap.”
His voice was back to the pitch it usually had, though the mischief in it was obvious. Robby wrenched his eyes open, just in time to see Dennis crawl onto the bed.
“What can I say? You wore him out,” he said.
“Fuck you,” Jack murmured into his skin, sounding more asleep than awake, obviously proving his point.
How close is your project to the end?
First draft is finished, but it needs some serious editing, which is unusual for me. That is also a problem for future (August) Inny, since July is Artfight month.
No pressure tagging: @invisibleraven, @bananakarenina, @daintyduck99, @metal-lullabies, and @phantomwriter95
Something something Dennis grew up learning that he had to pay people back no matter what.
Even as a kid his parents were counting how much he owed them. Not for necessities, but for toys they thought he didn’t need. Foods or snacks he really liked that weren’t in the budget. Things that, to him, made sense.
The first doctor’s visit where he had to get real medical care was scary. The doctors and nurses were very nice as they explained he just needed to get sewn up, like mom would do with his socks when they got holes. And they made it so it didn’t hurt and he even got a lollie after that was free!
Then his parents sat him down and told him what he did was reckless. If he hadn’t climbed up the hay like that, they wouldn’t have to go to the doctor. They showed him a spreadsheet they had for him and his brothers and told him the doctor’s visit would go on there. His eyes bugged as he looked at all the stuff his brothers still needed to pay off. It would take a very long time.
But his parents were nice, you see. No interest! They explained that some people would make him pay extra on his debts, but since they were family, Dennis didn’t need to do that for them.
After his chores were done, Dennis started going over to the neighbors and asking if there was anything he could do for a few dollars or even quarters. It got harder when school started. His parents never reminded him of the debt unless he asked for something he wanted. They would make sure he knew it was going to be added on and then get it for him. It was just being smart to make sure he knew how much he owed.
One day, he got hurt at his neighbors. A similar injury to what happened to first time, and all that debt flashed in his mind. He couldn't risk that again, so Dennis did his best to hide it. He made sure to finish the chore first, wrapping up the cut with some scraps he found.
When Dennis got home, he made sure to clean it out and throw away the scraps so no one knew what happened. Good thing he had a few old shirts he could rip up and wrap around his leg to keep it closed.
It didn't last, though. Something happened two days in. Dennis got all sweaty and feverish and his parents couldn't tell what happened. Going to the doctor became inevitable but not before they tried to break his fever with a cold bath. Dennis had tried to fight against it, but he was too weak and his parents too determined.
The ride to the hospital was silent. The nurses asked how this happened and Dennis told them. They asked why he hid it for so long and Dennis couldn't look up from the ground. It was impolite to talk about your debts or ask someone else about theirs, his parents had told him. So Dennis lied and said going to the doctor was scary.
He got two lollies on the way out.
They didn't help when he saw how much more he owed.
At least Dennis learned the lesson early: if he got hurt, he shouldn't wait to tell his parents. It would only make the bills higher and Dennis owe more.
Eventually, he got into a rhythm. Everything he made went straight to his parents. The cut on his leg became a nasty scar, a reminder. It helped him be more careful and the few times Dennis thought to hide an injury, he just had to look down to see the results of it.
Most of his debt came from things around the house. A vase broken here, a window shattered there. Once, a tractor broke down while Dennis had been driving it. The repairs were extensive and it was what made the debt he owed crawl into the five figure range.
It never hit the six figure range, though. Dennis could be proud of that. Even as he started college and gained more debt with interest, Dennis didn't ask his parents for anything more.
There were odd jobs Dennis managed to do to send a few dollars back home here and there. Most of that money went to Dennis himself, though. A few scholarships helped, but those went towards housing. Having the small jobs were for his groceries.
If Dennis missed payments for too long, his parents would ask after them. For the first time since he'd been indebted to them, they asked for the money. Every time, Dennis would send what he could. They were never more than fifty dollars and often under twenty, but his parents were pleased with it.
Dennis took extra care not to get into debt with anyone else. His roommates were always nice, but when he started to get worried about money, when they offered to pay his portion of rent, Dennis shook his head. He lied and told them he had somewhere he could stay. Better than dealing with anymore debt.
At least he found the abandoned hall he could hide in. It worked for a long time before Trinity found him and took him in. That whole situation had been... difficult. Trinity told him over and over that he didn't owe her anything. She never planned on having a roommate when she moved in, so she had a good financial plan. Still, any money Dennis managed to get while making his way through the rest of his rotations and graduation went to savings for Trinity and all the kindness she showed him.
There were setbacks, as always, but once he started making money, Dennis was able to take care of himself, pay off his debt to his parents, and start paying off his student loans. It was a lot to balance, but after a while, Dennis got the hang of it. He even managed to have a bit of savings. (So maybe he dipped into it too often and it never broke a thousand, but he was proud.)
Getting into a relationship in the middle of it all hadn't been Dennis' plan. Especially not with the married day and night attendings. Those were men Dennis thought were off limits. They were his superiors. Besides, two attendings salary? Dennis didn't have a dream of keeping up when it would come to dates.
Except, they said, Dennis didn't owe them anything. Which would have computed in his head. Dennis never made note of when people were indebted to him. Not only did it rarely happen, but he didn't like being in debt. He saw no reason to put other people in debt. He needed to pay off his own anyway.
There were restaurants with fancy looking names and menus without prices next to him. There were extravagant days and nights out and plans hidden from Dennis with the receipts just as. He managed to find them all and add Jack and Robby to the spreadsheet he made.
There were little things Dennis tried to do so he could chip away at the debt. Things he didn't do with Trinity, but he figured it would be forgiven since they were his partners. He made sure to have a section just for those little things in case it caused problems later on.
Robby and Jack never mentioned his debt. They only talked about how Dennis shouldn't worry about picking up the bill or the times he bought them stuff that he didn't have to. They knew how much medical school indebted someone. They told him to focus on that instead.
So Dennis listened. He made sure to put his efforts into the debt he earned for his degree and finishing off the debt from his parents. It took a while, but halfway through residency, Dennis had cleared what he had with his parents. Sent them the last payment and even called them for the first time in years to see their reaction.
(It had been more underwhelming than Dennis thought. They hummed as the transfer came through and then showed him as they input the last of his debt. His sat at zero while the rest of his brothers still had more to pay off. It made a pit grow in his stomach and he'd been off all day, though refused to tell his partners about it. At least they were kind enough to just hold him and let him relax without need for an explanation.)
With his debt to his parents out of the way, Dennis turned his attention to Jack and Robby. There was some savings Dennis could use and he really wanted to show how much he appreciated the men for letting him take care of previous debts first.
Maybe not a lot in their eyes, Dennis realized, after he transferred the two hundred and had both men in the living room. They had been in their separate offices, working on emails and paperwork. Well, Robby had been. Jack had admitted to Dennis he mostly played solitaire.
They must have talked at the top of the stairs. Dennis had heard them and sat up a little more normal on the couch rather than spread over it. The TV got muted when he heard them come down, and he shut his computer when they actually walked into the space. His parents always told him it was impolite to be fidgeting or distracted when they discussed his debt.
Neither of the men in front of Dennis sat down.
"You sent us both two hundred dollars?" Robby said. Dennis nodded up at him. He wanted to smile, but Robby only looked confused. Jack had his arms crossed and narrowed eyes. It looked intimidating but Dennis just knew it meant he was thinking hard.
"Yeah!" Dennis said. "I paid off some other debt and--"
"You couldn't have paid of your student loans that fast," Jack interrupted, "And what does 'other' mean? You're not indebted to us." Dennis snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Sorry," he said, "I know it's not nice to talk about debt with people, but we're all adults."
"What are you talking about?" Robby asked. Dennis reached forward and grabbed his computer. When he showed them, they'd understand. And they seemed to know what he was getting at because they sat on either side of him; Jack on his left and Robby on his right.
It took some time for the spreadsheet to load, but once it did, Jack went still and Robby leaned in. There were maybe ten names on his spreadsheet, including his parents. Just because he was out of debt with them now didn't mean he wouldn't get into more debt later.
Dennis pointed out where the men's names were and where he'd taken money out for some of the things he paid for.
"If what I sent isn't enough, then I can give you more," he said, "And. Um. I pulled some money out whenever I got us stuff, but I know that doesn't really count, so I can add it back in and--"
"Dennis, what the fuck?" Jack breathed it all out in one go. He took the computer as Dennis' face grew red. Maybe they just weren't indebted to as many people as him. Was ten a lot of people? Dennis didn't know. They were the first people he ever showed this to.
"It's just to keep track," he mumbled. He thought about the easiest way to ask Trinity to pick him up for the weekend. After seeing all the debt Dennis had, he wondered if Robby and Jack would even want to keep him around. "Uh, Trin doesn't seem to mind waiting. She's never said anything about it so..."
"Jesus Christ," Robby leaned back, arm over the couch, as he tried to crane his head around Dennis to get a look at the screen, "Baby, why are tracking this?"
That made no sense. Unless they were tracking it for him (God, what if they wanted him to pay interest?), he just needed a way to keep everything in one place. Everyone was in debt. It was just different amounts.
"It's easier than guessing," he sniffed, "I mean, my parents taught me how to keep track of it for them, so I figured--"
"Your parents?" Jack cut Dennis off again.
"Honey, let him talk," Robby said. Dennis could feel Robby's arm shift behind him. He knew the man had gripped his husbands shoulder to help steady him.
"Yeah, they taught me about debt and to make sure I always pay it off," Dennis blinked to keep from crying as he stared down at his hands. He was fidgeting. "I just thought you guys were waiting until I started paying to bring it up. I like to keep some money in savings but if you want more, I can send you more."
The warm bodies on either side of him curled closer. They were still quiet as Dennis waited for a response. After enough time, Dennis huffed and took the computer back. This was what they wanted. They wanted him to do it without being prompted. His parents hated reminding Dennis about his debt because he should have been thinking about it all the time.
When he opened his bank, though, Robby took the computer back from him.
"Dennis, you don't owe us anything," he said. Dennis glared at him for the lie, "Okay. How about this. I see a lot of people on there that you owe money to. What about the people who owe you money?"
Dennis rolled his eyes and scrubbed away the tears. That was a ridiculous question. Didn't they know him by now?
"I don't like being in debt," he said, "I don't want to do that to someone."
"Right. And if we had someone come into the ER who said their partner was holding their finances and preventing them from leaving a dangerous situation?"
Something in Dennis' mind clicked. Still, he shook his head. Refused to see the picture Robby was painting. It wasn't the same. It really wasn't. Dennis had left. His parents had kept him in Broken Bow. They just told him it would be a mistake and...
Strong arms wrapped around Dennis' waist and he gripped Jack as he pulled Dennis back into a sturdy hold. He stared up at Robby with an open mouth as the man closed the computer and set it aside.
"It's not the same," Dennis tried to argue. His voice broke and tears flowed freely down his face. "It's really not. I... Because, um, my parents they were just..."
"It's okay." Jack pressed a kiss to his temple. "We can just lay here, yeah?" Dennis nodded and squeezed his eyes closed as he let the men swing his legs onto the couch. He leaned against Jack as Robby laid over his legs and rest his head against Dennis' stomach.
Dennis couldn't remember how long they were like that as Dennis cried, desperately clinging to Jack behind him and Robby in front of him.
He didn't even know what he was mourning. A childhood he never had? Money he'd lost? How much had he sacrificed because his parents demanded him to pay for existing?
There were hands running up and down his sides. Fingers in his hair and thumbs swiping the tears as they came.
By the end of it, Dennis had a headache. He had the hiccups and he still had Robby and Jack. They had made it clear before they weren't going anywhere. This only helped solidify it in Dennis' mind. It melted something in his chest.
"Water?" Robby asked. The sound rumbled through Dennis. He nodded and the weight lifted off him. Jack held him tighter as Robby disappeared. Dennis still didn't open his eyes until Robby pressed the glass into his hand. When he opened them and finished drinking, Robby held out tissues.
"I just thought it was normal," Dennis whispered.
"Everyone does," Jack said, "When it's happening to them." Dennis choked. He didn't want to start crying again. He really didn't.
"Alright." Robby grunted as he got onto the couch. This time, he rested Dennis feet in his lap instead of laying over him. "What should we do with those four hundred dollars, hm?"
"Wh'do you mean?" Dennis said into the tissue. He blew his nose and Jack poked his side. "I'm snotty! Leave me alone."
"Don't bully him." Robby flicked Jack's toes. "You sent us both two hundred. So, what are you going to do with it?"
"It's not... I sent it to you so..."
"Okay," Jack nuzzled himself closer to Dennis, pressing his lips into Dennis' neck. He relaxed further into the hold as he felt Jack's lips move, "Baby steps."
saw carolynn shadas instagram story about family games and it inspired some headcanons here we go
JATPs headcanons in relation to that game where you try and get an oreo from your forehead to your mouth without using your hands:
Reggie: exactly like jeremy shada, attempts to do it super fast but just ends up dropping it over and over again hoping it lands near his mouth, doesn’t stop trying even if everyone else is finished
Alex: he’s just as competitive as the boys but not really a sore loser. he’ll genuinely try very hard but as soon as someone wins he’ll just eat his oreo. it has nothing to do with watching his boyfriends jawline instead
Luke: compete chaos. mans just throws his head forward over and over and attempts to catch the oreo while it’s in midair. his breaks before anyone’s even reaches their nose
Julie: a queen of the oreo game. slow and steady wins the race, except when you’re too slow, she doesn’t like playing against willie
Flynn: is running the game. she’s just filming a whole bunch of chaos to use as blackmail later
Bobby/Trevor: just wants to eat his damn oreo. will try once but as soon as it falls he forfeits
Willie: a true master. he nailed the technique down once when he was 14 and has practiced ever since just for these sorts of games. wins every single time.
Bonus:
Carlos: actually very good at it. competitive with willie who is training him at any given moment.
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[Description: the video is captioned "Find the duck game", and we see several blindfolded women in hijabs groping around an enclosed ring while spectators look on, cheering and laughing . After a few seconds the camera pans so that you can see the duck, who is waddling around, casually yet resolutely resisting capture. Periodically the women collide with each other. They do not find the duck. End ID]
Okay but actually re-watching the scene where Trinity finds Dennis on the 8th floor and watching the emotions on his face as he talks to her.
The embarrassment he feels when he looks away from Santos continuing to lie that he's only "crashing there after a late night" and pretending he has some semblance of control over his situation. Even though he knows how he looks surrounded by his meager belongings. Knows she already knows the truth but continuing to lie anyway.
AND THEN the hesistancy and the sadness when he says he's "between places" thinking about why he is in the position he is and what led him to that 8th floor. Like really thinking about his family back home why he couldn't ask them for help. Or thinking of the years he spent in Pittsburg and how he somehow didn't have someone to turn to. When faced with the choice of reaching out for help or squatting on the 8th floor he chose the latter. Like how much that reveals to us about who Dennis is as a person.
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Happy disability pride month especially to disabled people who shouldn't be working full time/at all but haven't been able to access any aid to stop working, or support other ppl who also can't work. You deserve a break, proper support, and you are worth so so so much more than your productivity
okay look. if you tease someone with the goal of riling them up to the point where they threaten to do something to you but you have No Intention Whatsoever of holding yourself accountable to them or the feelings of arousal you're provoking, you're not being a brat. you're treating that person like a smut dispenser & showing them you're an unsafe person to play with.
by disrespecting the rule of transactionality in brat/dom dynamics, you're blurring the lines of what are & aren't the expectations. that level of obfuscation is dangerous bc if your dom doesn't have a clear idea of how far you'll take a scene they might escalate things on their end that result in you or them getting seriously hurt, physically or emotionally. that or you might just burn them out & guarantee they'll never want to play with you again, since you're giving them Nothing for all the frustration you're offering them.
Not Giving Anything At All makes it so your dom is doing Literally All Of The Work. they have to manage the frustration of not getting you to behave the way they want you to despite behaving in the way you want & expect them to, as well as placing them in a situation where they have to maintain a scene that is becoming increasingly grating & objectively unrewarding for them to keep participating in.
here's what giving as a brat looks like: knowing what you want & being able to communicate that when engaging with someone. you like being a brat? okay. what do you want out of it? do you like being forcefully reminded you're not in charge? do you appreciate the predictability of your instigation & their reaction? do you enjoy the gradual switching of roles? assuming your play partner will instinctively """get""" where you're coming from will actually only get you where you already are, & them nowhere. if they tell you that's not great for them, are you gonna take that seriously? or are you gonna keep playing pretend bc you're having fun & invalidate their warranted dissatisfaction?
what makes bratting rewarding for both ppl involved is knowing the brat is escalating in a circumstance where they're ready & willing to engage with the full wrath & consequence of the dom. the fun part for brats is acting as if they hold all the power by being a tease, provocative, by instigating. the fun part for doms is showing them the consequences of their actions. it's transactional. brat behaves a certain way, dom reacts accordingly. bratting must account for this exchange. bratting is about seeking this reaction, seeking attention, consequence, accountability. it's the transactionality that makes the shit rly hit.
it's also proportional. being annoying is appealing in direct proportion to the amount of consequence you will face for behaving that way. you're very annoying throughout the day but your dom gets to beat the shit out of you when they get home? effervescent. you're very annoying in a circumstance where you know you will face absolutely no consequence whatsoever from the person you're going out of your way to provoke? you are Not fun to play with. or funny. just annoying.
if you're getting off on the idea of getting someone pent up & then putting absolutely no effort or work whatsoever in coming thru with being accountable to them, then find someone who's into denial or edging with whom you can negotiate & engage in that sort of dynamic. & please consider that you might actually just be a dom (or a switch) yourself since you clearly value being a position of power more than you do being in one of submission.
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