saturn went direct again

Gonna start leaving unsolicited comments about how I actually DONT shave my bush for sensory purposes

so. i just learned that my entirely me-written resume flags as being AI-written by automated HR systems for a few writing quirks and the fact that i followed all the rules of good resume writing, which is apparently a telltale sign of AI use in this fucking hellworld. i've been desperately applying to jobs that i am massively overqualified for for months with no response, not even an interview, and now i find out that at least part of the reason is because some fucking moron decided that following the rules every career advisor has given me for a decade means i cheated and should be disqualified. the ai bubble cannot pop soon enough. what the actual fuck.

"frequent use of action-result sentences. bullet points all start with action verbs. no career gaps." girl what the fuck are you talking about. that's just resume writing advice being followed. i just did what i was told. it's a fucking resume. you're supposed to do all that stuff. what the fuck do you mean it looks ai generated and wouldn't pass basic detection systems?????????? for following the resume writing rules????????????

wishing every AI bro and ceo a very [REDACTED]

my friend's puppy has baffling levels of attitude for someone who's only been around for a handful of months. he understands concepts like deceit and civil disobedience and other things i didn't fully grasp until well into my 20s. this guy doesn't even know the seasons loop yet. he's probably like okay spring. what's next. some other new bullshit i bet

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

it's annoying to be a grown, logical adult whose brain spits out a constant stream of anon hatemail directed at yourself. rejection sensitive dysphoria will have some internal voice screaming, in response to any made-up emotional disturbance that makes you feel bad (which is all of them) "let's ruin our whole life!!!! ruin our whole life and kill ourselves now !!!!! 😇" and a separate "you" can, also every second of the day, be like "[sigh] no we've been through this" meanwhile you're just sitting there with a totally neutral expression living your life

Queer joy detected!

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

learned yesterday of a lesbian softball league that in its inception in the 70s was open only to 1) absolute beginners 2) lovers of people already in the league. in order to keep serious intense sport-players out. now join me in imagining a romance novel where a plucky young woman has to seduce a softball player to join and sabotage her friend's rival team

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.