saturn went direct again

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

I mean. That obviously wouldn’t work for many reasons, although I do believe if you required spelunkers to wear a suicide bomb to go caving, it would not be a major deterrent.

They'd be pissed off that the belt is too bulky and they can't squeeze through teeny tiny crevices that require you to avoid breathing until you're through or your ribs won't fit

Personally I think we should make all spelunkers wear bulky vests like those people who tie a wooden spoon to a tiny dog's back so it can't slip through the bars of a property fence. Stop 'em from getting in those positions in the first place.

australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore

oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe

WHAT

Murderbot in Network Effect is so funny. It’s like “my friend is dead this is the WORST and LIFE IS PAIN” and then rescues ART and immediately pivots to “I can’t BELIEVE you kidnapped me and dragged me out here just to save your useless fucking life, I hate you.”

portal 2 is an american gothic horror story about an incredibly traumatized and exploited girl who was forced into a perpetual hell of servitude by the forces of capital and infinite growth. portal 2 is about how science owes its greatest achievements to women who never received any credit or control over the industries that they created. portal 2 is about how tech companies dehumanize and exploit feminized labor. portal 2 is about physically exploring a woman's repressed memories and realizing she was right to kill all those people with deadly neurotoxin. portal 2 is about fighting the piece of you they created to keep you weak and easy to control, ripping it out, and sending it to the fucking moon. portal 2 is about helping your traumatized girlfriend come to grips with her violent past. portal 2 is about how tech CEOs are so fucking stupid they would probably die from snorting moon rocks. portal 2 is about rape and exploitation and capitalism and vivisection and everything that would make you go 'ewwie' if it wasnt happening to a gigantic robot

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

Will do this when I have kids

^^ that story is perfect

voter suppression against black people is reaching Jim Crow era levels in the US so please get registered to vote now, learn who's going to be on your ballot in advance, try to talk some sense into your conservative relatives or coworkers (diplomatically), and, when November rolls around, vote to make Republicans lose as many seats as possible. there are many other things to do, of course, but the midterms will have a massive impact on the future of civil rights.

I love being an adult who always puts my hand out to shake when I meet a kid! every single time their face is like "no one does The Adult Greeting Ritual with me, is this a sign of respect or is this man simply unhinged" and then of course as we talk they realise it's both