#actually bipolar

First night on Vraylar: I feel like I got a lobotomy tbh

Genuinely what's wrong with me. Like sexually... Me when manic episodes can cause increased sex drive but I'm not in a manic episode... I don't think... Me when hypersexuality isn't researched enough to have an actual category of disorder or symptoms associated with it... Or if it's a symptom of another disorder... I hate my life...

My doctor changed my medicines without much agreement on my end. I mentioned that I don't think my medicine is working because I still hear voices and have other symptoms that intrude on my daily living so I'm not able to function well. I've been changed off medicines before mostly due to insurance but I was severely psychotic during this time and don't remember which one worked for me before but I remember one worked pretty well. I mentioned the name risperidone and that was all she needed apparently because she changed me from my haldol injection to oral medicine of risperidone. My mom is worried I'll get bad again. But honestly? I'm kind of relieved to be free of that going into me. Its like I have no choice though because I dont want to disappoint my mom. I really dont want injections right now. I just want to see how I am without my medicine.

Psych Doctor Visit Today: big ole fail with lamotrigine (again), we almost considered going back to Latuda but the side effects fucking SUCKED, so here's to hoping Vraylar solves my problems.

bipolar disorder will have you making up arguments to have with people very publicly online and then will have you feeling like you should kys after apologizing for like 10 minutes straight. i love you missing my medication for a few days.

the mania isnt fun anymore i cant sleep.