An Awkward Serendipity

i have to go delete some posts

i don't knuow

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

I’m losing my fucking shit because my mom is getting catfished by a guy that sends her pictures like this and it never once occurred to her that this….isnt a real picture that a real person would ever take, ever

so true

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

The Muppets s01e01

buddy you can not be saying this with the trans pride peter griffin icon. stone in glass house.

consuming this alongside beef cup noodle to see what happens to my digestive system