Deltitnu?

You are allowed to find things hot in theory while also never wanting to actually do them in real life btw. You can get off on whatever wild shit in your imagination and still prefer to be very vanilla in real life. Or not want to have sex at all in real life. You don't owe the universe anything in exchange for your dirty mind.

People going to My Chemical Romance have been warned not to join any ‘parades’ in Glasgow lmao

If you see any orange you’re in the wrong place.

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

i said "laundry sauce" instead of detergent once and my parents have not stopped saying it since

I've always thought it's too bad that disco is the only kind of dance that comes with an artifact. It's compelling that disco has a Ball. I want to know what secrets will be revealed if I gaze into it. There should be a hip-hop Cube. A ballroom Amulet. A swing Diadem.

i fully support anti-fascist/anti-nazi butch lesbian rosie the riveter

One of the many benefits of being weird in public is possibly saving -- and definitely improving -- a stranger's life without ever knowing.

it’s not ‘talking to myself’ it’s called a soliloquy you fuck

#it’s only a soliloquy if it’s in verse #otherwise it’s just a sparkling mental breakdown

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

A modern adaptation of Dracula where you keep seeing Jonathan Harker’s face on bus stop bench ads for his realtor office.

#“This client doesn’t seem to exist online; a bit strange. But he’s elderly so it’s not that unusual” -Jonathan about to make a mistake – @capslockdoesntexpressmyjoy

I was about to joke about Quincey Morris still being a cowboy, but then it occurred to me that he’s not actually a cowboy in the source material, is he? He’s the wealthy heir of a Texas ranch-owning family who just acts like an Old West cowboy. If anything, that’s even more plausible today than it was in 1897.

And a lot of what he knows, he learns on the fly, when he heads back home to do a deep dive into library archives.

As far as facile inversions of common tropes go, "character who's so pure and innocent that they have no idea their bizarre kinks are in any way unusual and end up scaring the hell out of their ostensibly more worldly peers" is a pretty good one.