WHAT DOES HE KNOW THAT WE DONT

Vampire spending his current life as a wildlife biologist almost blows his cover when he forgets that humans often perish from Cold and Wet Syndrome.

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

going out to eat some mold spores. anybody need anything?

can i get added onto your will

not sure why but go wild

loud warning

being a horror fan that experiences panic inducing paranoia fucking sucks like ill just be like wow i cant wait to go watch scary shadow creature video number 74 and then spend the rest of the night clutching my phone with the flashlight on and playing five nights at freddys 4 in real life

like im aware that watching horror stuff at like 3am is going to make me think that slenderman is in my kitchen but also im a dumb bitch who sees scary video thinks yay i love scary video :) and immediately watches it

Fascinated by what the draws you people to horror content

i like when theres some kind of creature or perhaps a guy

Had a dream that I was accidentally entered into a "Christian rap competition" and the only thing I could think to rap about was my current interest in pickling onions. The crowd thought my pickled red onion brine for Jesus rap was so cringe that they didn't even boo. The entire venue just went completely silent until I felt awkward and left.

This would have done numbers with Russian orthodox Christians you were just playing to the wrong crowd king. Protestants have no culture

"Are my pickled red onion bars wack? No, it is simply the protestants who are wrong."

i think that unless you have experienced life while being actually dead broke or near it at least once, its hard to really grasp at how, in many places but in america in particular, ‘having money’ is the access card that allows you to participate, materially, in being fully human. even in non-crisis situations, situations where a paycheck is on the way, you have enough of some kind of food to make it, and you aren’t in any danger of losing shelter, even if you hardly spend any money when you do have it, the state of being completely without money is a state of  being hyperaware, constantly, of how much smaller your world is all of a sudden and how many basic aspects of mobility and enrichment are off limits to you. its profoundly psychologically agitating to self worth and well-being even sans the trauma of worse states of deprivation, and i don’t think a lot of people who have lived comfortably without this experience understand that there’s a critical difference between ‘having less money’ and ‘having no money’ when talking about related issues.

STOP!! This is the mooncake line. If you see this on your dash you can have one quarter of this mooncake 🥮 with your favorite filling and a tiny cup of freshly brewed oolong tea that’s just cold enough to drink. Okay enjoy

not doing batman fanart anymore bc nothing can top this

I want to read a fic exacly like my most beloved favorite fics but also NEW and DIFFERENT. but also the same. 

No more discourse. From now on we're playing in the creek. Do you guys wanna go to the creek? I've got an RC boat and bottle rockets

Yeah sex is great and all that, but have you ever played in a crick till the lightning bugs come out? Nothing is better.

i found some clay gonna make sum pots

Just here to look at bugs.

Guys, I brought you some snacks! Who wants to look at constellations when the sun goes down? 

I've brought flashlights so we can play flashlight tag after!