My taste is amazing and my opinions are beyond reproach.

This tendency is pretty universal in terfism, and it really doesn't help that terfs also mostly exist in echo chambers.

In this case, also, transfeminists are actually saying the exact opposite of what terfs claim: If you're transphobic or transmisogynistic, then you actually shouldn't date trans women, because no trans woman would deserve to endure that.

When I was growing up and transitioning, it was understood that trans women were more vulnerable to bigotry as just an observable fact. It was unspoken.

I have been hurt by transphobia sure but it was never because I was specifically FtM. What I mean by that is this -that people who hate trans men ALWAYS hate trans women too.

Yet I have met many cis people who don't mind trans men but LOATHE trans women, seeing us as 'quirky gender outlaws' while still viewing trans women as predatory men invading some 'sacred female space.'

Example: no one ever bothered me for presenting masculine things at work, even when my beard was too long for our work standard.

Yet the day my freshly-out trans femme coworker wore tights to work, her department manager pulled her aside within an hour of her clocking in and made her go home and change!

The cis girls were never bothered for wearing tights even if they were wearing colors/styles that were against technically against dress code.

The same HR lady who helped me change my legal name in our employee roll did nothing to help this girl when I reported the manager who singled her out. Even speaking up for her got me labeled as being 'dramatic.'

She quit within the week, it was awful. ( I am glad to report she got a better job and recently got her legal name change and is four years on E at this point! )

I've had to cut ties with many people over them saying weird shit about trans women to me, that job being one of those ties! I was there for five years but seeing what happened to the girl made me lose all my faith in their 'inclusive' claims, so I left.

If you don't want my trans women peers around, you don't get my trans masc self either! That's how it should be.

All trans men must practice zero tolerance for transmisogyny otherwise we can never expect trans girls/women to buy into claims of solidarity from us trans men. The world is coming at the girls from all sides, we shouldn't be adding onto their stress by repeating rainbow-flavored TERF talking points.

It says a lot that the public generally perceives us (trans guys) as ready to agree with the whole "lol trans women are freaks, amiright??" Bullshit.

The reputation is there because many trans men are too chickenshit to speak up for their sisters. At worst, they agree with the transmisogyny.

I have been trying to educate the younger men about why TME vs TMA is needed in trans discussions but it has been an obnoxiously uphill battle. Many do not want to listen.

Your page is a great resource for breaking down the aspects of transmisogyny that trans men miss or don't consider, thank you for putting it up. It gives me the language to dismantle transandrophobia arguments.

This issue is something older trans men need to get active in correcting this behavior. Trans men have to teach our younger bros to be better than this otherwise it will keep spreading like redpill shit did among cis dudes. The fact that so many trans women are doing the emotional labor of educating these buttheads isn't fair and I don't blame all of you trans femmes for being frustrated.

Sending this privately because I don't want to seem like I am stating my peace for clout.

You rock ✌️ and don't let the bastards get you down.

-first ever time was in high school when a friend told a joke from a post or something at marching band practice and I got super aggro and was like how did you find me and found out she did not know it was me. Sorry nic💔

-screenshot of own post sent to me by friends with some variation of ‘lol you would find this funny’ ‘this reminded me of you’ or ‘they write like you talk’ x15-20 times

- go over to this girl’s house to watch a movie in grad school. one of my dumb ass posts abt a book series she liked was printed out and thumbtacked to the bulletin board by the door.

-screenshot of a 15 note flop post I wrote otw to class showed up on a girl I had just met in college’s instagram story

- someone I met from the other side of the country at a networking thing repeated phrase I wrote in stupid joke post the year before

- got told ‘this is kinda dumb lol’ by irl oomf and shown a TikTok of someone repeating something I wrote verbatim but less funny

- told my friend a story abt something funny that had happened to me earlier this week. He was like I know you stole this from Reddit you don’t have to lie. Whipped out his phone showed me a screenshot of my own post.

Equiping an armor tutorial

And always there would be:

1 noticable uncomfortable POC who is either there as an intern/assistant to a white person or as the 'diversity manager'.

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

When you go for an MLS (Master’s of Library Science, which is a thing, and which is usually required for “professional-level” library work [which is also a weird and contentious concept that I won’t go into here]), one of the things you study is the organization of information. This deals with how to determine what a book or other material is “about"—a concept we tongue-in-cheek call “aboutness"—and how to convey that to a potential user of the item and make it easy for them to find. Things like keywords and subject headings, do I put this book about how often wild birds attack aerial drones in with books about birds or with books about technology, if its a fictional novel do I put fantasy in it’s own section or mix it in with all of the other fiction, so on and so on.

OP is organizing books by how they would look for them. OP’s partner is thinking in terms of aboutness. This is a system that works for OP because it’s their personal library: they know basically what books they own and they only own books that are relevant to them, and if they know what the book looks like, that can be a quick way to find it.

In a library that assumes the public (or people who do not own that particular collection of books) are using the collection, that doesn’t work. Books are often re-issued in multiple covers, or re-bound in new covers when they get worn out, and if the user doesn’t know what the book looks like or is expecting a different cover, they’re lost. That’s why non-personal libraries used standardized cataloging systems like the Dewey Decimal System or Library of Congress System to organize a book by what it’s “about”, and then put books about the same or similar topics together, marked with labels and signage so a person unfamiliar with the book or collection can find their way to it.

Basically, OP’s system works for their own personal library, because it’s best suited to how the primary user—OP themselves—looks for books. OP’s librarian partner is coming from a background of thinking in terms of a public-facing collection, where aboutness is the key criteria and communicating it to a user unfamiliar with the collection is the priority.

Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.

My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."

"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."

My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."

"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."

She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."

It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."

And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.

See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.

When I tell people this, they always, ALWAYS, assume I have sisters. They say shit like “oh I’d love to do that, but I have boys” and when I tell them I only have brothers, “oh you must have eaten a lot of burned dinners then!”

Like, no. To both of those statements. Sure we burned stuff when we were younger but we all learned to cook before 13, that was just the age where it became a scheduled chore. You know who did burn everything? My MOM. My Boomer dad did all the cooking because my mum didn’t want to and he was the one to help when we needed it, though my mum did help with prep/chopping things.

Fast forward to now, middle brother can make the best risotto I’ve ever had and my youngest brother is vegan and makes almost all his own meals because his partner isn’t and he doesn’t expect her to make two meals so he can eat.

The worst part of this social conditioning is how bullshit it is. I know this is not ingrained, I know people are teaching their sons to be assholes, and I look at my middle brother in his immaculate apartment with tasteful decor that he picked out himself and I look at my youngest brother who does all the clothes shopping for him and his partner because she struggles with it and it makes me want to just start biting people.