yuri warrior

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

I'm in love with your imagination. We should get our necromancers to set up a play date sometime

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

Am i more of a loser or a goner

Its ok if u say both because i know truth is suposed to hurt a lot for dumb fucks like me

cold.. jealous of printer paper.. imagine getting slid through a machine and you come out all warm.. they don't even know how good they have it.

You have to pee in the shower to get into heaven