A Blog With Sturf

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

I briefly forgot there were normal humans named Elijah and wondered why this person thought they were getting messages from Actual Prophet and Messiah-Herald Elijah the Tishbite.

….yeah me too.

Me three.

Imagine getting visions of someone else’s holy prophet and having to text your friends like “….what am I supposed to do with that?”

I have not laughed that hard in so long I literally cannot remember when.

this is what you get for leaving the door open

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

I love when Arabic loanwords get incorporated into other languages and they keep the al- suffix. I'm studying the gebra. It's a real the batross around my neck.

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB…

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

date of origin: August 9th, 2018

The unbridled joy of seeing this pass by again, spotting the little red heart like “ah… my old friend. Spongebob Human Anatomy Squarepants.

is that my chemical romance?

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

but it actually is my chemical romance

this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen

I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.

New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of Pepsi.]

that's arugula

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of arugula]

thats arugula