Unhelpful Tarot

Local young ladies keep sneaking into your garden to eat your rampion.

As a matter of fact, people will judge you based on how kind and generous you are.

Whenever we get around to it!

They are helpfully making sure you stay hydrated during the ordeal.

You're struggling with emotional turmoil and also an angry mob.

Now that you've got the mix right, you can start producing the stuff in quantity.

Now would be a great time to start getting interested in solar power, if you haven't already.

Due to a case of mistaken identity, you are being tailed by an inexperienced assassin.

Please do talk to me and my son again, if you like. We enjoy your company.

You're trying to be a benevolent tyrant, and make plans that will benefit everyone.

It seems like someone is trying to invite themselves along on your date.

Yes, I'm sure your cause is just and your sword is true, but you did almost run over those pedestrians.

You're both trying to achieve enlightenment in slightly different, but equally uncomfortable, ways.

Your household decor is a confusing mix of signs, some of which say ALL HOPE ABANDON, while others are the more traditional LIVE LAUGH LOVE.

No one seems very interested in sticking around for your big public celebration.

Glad you enjoy it!

You were sure you'd pulled it off flawlessly, until you heard the quiet splash behind you.