Whoops! All Systems!

It never spoke, but, I remember clearly feeling it's presence and it would kind of... Judge what we did, and really did not like when we cried. It wasn't mean, or malicious or anything. It was actually rather sweet and wanted to protect us. I guess it would count as somewhat of a persecutor-protector??? Idk.

Make sure you take care of yourself, what you do is amazing and I know it can be exhausting to go back and forth with some people. Thank you so much for all you do for our community.

It's almost always the same things over and over. We really do copy/paste a lot of responses - we have lists of sources organised by topic. "Definition of ableism" "Theory of Structural Dissociation" "What a system and alters are".

The most exhausting thing about it is that Tumblr, 1. hates paragraphs being copy/pasted, and 2. really likes deleting links when you try to add them. ;-;

And recently, with the anti-willo stuff, we've noticed that most actual conversations/debates have completely stopped. Our responses to most things are straight ignored now. The CDD tags are full of syscourse and "endos/their supporters are horrible ableist people" posts. The only thing this anti-willo shit did was cause harm to everybody, to endogenic systems and disabled folk and those with CDDs and trauma survivors. It's genuinely so, so stupid.

On one hand, there's "there are many problems in the world that are far bigger than a little bit of online discourse among tiny communities". On the other hand, there's "peoples' entire lives are being ridiculed and dismissed, and it's causing real harm to a massive amount of folk."

Like? In the end, we can really only do so much. What's more important is that folk keep living as who they are, and not listen to the judgements of others, who believe their experiences are impossible for no reason. ❤️

Episodeian (pronounced: eh-pih-SOH-dee-un) - an individual that experiences an alterhuman identity exclusively during mental health episodes.

Episodeianity - term describing experiencing an alterhuman identity exclusively during mental health episodes.

Episodetype - altertype of episodeian.

Examples:

- being a conceptkin of abstraction (from TADC) during a psychotic episode.

- being a doglike during maniac episode.

sometimes people are just naturally plural. sometimes people find a plural sense of self more fulfilling and authentic to themselves than a singlet one. sometimes people develop a plural sense of self because they never had the chance to develop a singlet one. sometimes people develop a plural sense of self because it was the only way to survive.

it's really not that complicated specifically because it is so complicated. it's not far fetched to say any of this, given the existing research, anecdotal reports, and varied cultural norms about identity. there is so much about identity we know, and so much about the psyche and our individually experienced realities that we don't.

identity is a social construct. every system and singlet feels this when they struggle with understanding who they are, what they want to do, where they fit in the world, or how they should feel about a certain group of people. the doubt is natural for all of us.

and it is still true that traumagenic systems are a particularly vulnerable group of people, given our histories. however, that doesn't mean the same is never true of our endogenic and polygenic peers.

whether you like it or not, they are also single biological individuals classified as homo sapiens with multiple expressions and experienced states of self.

i don't think it's killing anyone to acknowledge reality here. we already know how hard it is to live in a singlet normative world, and how much of ourselves we hide and sacrifice to get through the day. why are we forcing other plural people to act like singlets?

are you seriously that up on your high horse that you think you are the only one who can name and systematize multiple parts of yourself? our suffering is not virtue. it is not what makes us real. we are what make us real. that's all.

disclaimer before you assume anything in an attempt to wrongfully discredit self-diagnosed and endogenic people: i am a professionally diagnosed, polyfragmented alterhuman with DID, with a complex hierarchical structure to their system. i was self diagnosed for a decade because abusive therapists gaslit me through diagnosing me with psychosis and protecting my abusive father. we are a traumagenic, spiritual system, due to our spirituality's influence on our system structure (supernatural alters & hierarchies, mainly). to that extent, we may be considered traumaendo. we're still traumagenic. we still have DID. and we're still endogenic, because as plural people, we are not solely defined by our suffering.

va'fanculo, traditori. i owe endogenic systems my life through inspiring me to live as a plural person. show them some gratitude for their fucking bravery in this cruel world.