Stray Amanuensis

Horrible moment of realization as I experience complete fucking clarity that the way I feel about Minecraft additions like the ocean monument and enchanting system map perfectly onto older millennials talking about how they don't get "newer Pokemon", such as Marill or Bidoof

No I mean the time perception where those are relatively early additions, but I intuitively think of them as newer ones. Like. Genuinely newer Pokemon are not Marill and Bidoof those are old enough to drink in most jurisdictions

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

It has a name!!!

where's that post of someone getting a letter from their bank like "dear keith we realise you're just taking the piss but every time you venmo your mate for 'al-qaeda training camp' we do have to, by law, fill out a lot of boring paperwork for the police so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that"

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

Fun fact. Nothing can stop you from finding the oldest art your friend has ever made on their blog and reblogging it.