Tea for torture

This post took me a ridiculously long time of fighting with tumblr so I really hope someone enjoys it.

Alright look. I’ve thought about this for a while scrolling the tumblr and seeing all the TWS and CW gay posting. But then the topic came up on a Stucky server and I decided I needed to put all my thoughts in one place and here we are.

The Winter Soldier is generally seen as THE Stucky movie, closely followed by CW. And I get it. I do. But like. Are we really going to overlook the amount of gay in TFA???? Not to mention TFA is what sets up this century-long relationship??

Let’s get into it.

1. The double date that Bucky drags Steve on. I’m sure we’ve all seen the meme by now, right? How the girls were holding hands and the joke that they were going on double dates, but not in the way Steve thinks? Y’all. Watch it. It holds some water. At the expo when Stark shows off his flying car, the girls are clutching hands and Bucky turns to look at Steve. He’s paying attention to Steve, not either of the girls. Also, you can barely even tell which girl is supposed to be on a date with which guy. Probably the only indicator is awkward Steve shoving popcorn in the girl’s face. And after all that where Steve ditches them to try and enlist again, they are perfectly happy to share Bucky. IDK about you or real-life 40s girls, but if I was expecting to go out with a guy and my friend go out with his friend I wouldn’t be super stoked about sharing him? But they seem perfectly giddy to just accept going dancing with just Bucky. Like maybe neither are actually interested in dating him and are more interesting in just having fun going out in public? Like possibly to an underground queer place where they can all be themselves. Please see this post for evidence.

2. THE GODDAMN BUCKY RESCUE MISSION. Literally, Steve hears “107th” and that there’s no plan to even try to go after them with ZERO INDICATION THAT BUCKY IS EVEN ALIVE and decides that he’s going to take his untested new body for a spin with absolutely no fucking plan besides get there, beat some people up, find Bucky. Star spangled man with a plan MY ASS.

3. When he does get to Bucky the way Bucky says “Steve” when he realizes it’s him and HE SMILES. Poor dude’s been tortured and is strapped to a table and out of it and says Steve’s name like it’s both the prayer and the answer. And when Steve gets him up and goes to touch his face before pulling his hand back. See this post for gifs of that whole scene.

4. I feel like this needs no further explanation than this gifset but please see the highlight below

5. There is nothing about the way that Bucky says "let's hear it for Captain America!" that is either friendly or heterosexual. Look at his face. Look at the way he looks Steve up and down. Look at the conflicted emotions. LISTEN TO THE TONE OF HIS VOICE. Here's the video for the full experience.

6. THE ENTIRE GODDAMN BAR SCENE?! I will break it up into three parts though because it deserves it. Here is the video to follow along though. My first point is, "hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn that was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him." First of all, LOOK AT THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. Second, Bucky is very clear that he's not here for Captain America, but that he's here for Steve. The same Steve he's always supported. Also bonus gif of footage that was from shooting this scene, but was not in the movie and is adorable.

7.... Please explain to me what about this is hetero... I'll wait... Full gifset here.

8. When Peggy walks in. Bucky looks at her, but he doesn't really eye her until he looks at Steve and sees him looking at her. And then he looks like a kicked puppy when he sees Steve only has eyes for Peggy. I 100% believe that his comment about being invisible is not about being invisible to Peggy next to Steve, but about being invisible to Steve next to Peggy.

9. Another post we’ve all seen here by now is the one in which Steve starts the movie saying he doesn’t want to kill anyone, but after Bucky falls from the train it becomes, “I won’t stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured.” Platonic MY LEFT FUCKING ARM. See post here.

10. For my final point, I’ve said this before, but STEVE DIDN’T HAVE TO CRASH THE PLANE. (CW: suicide mention)

Ironically, hard light is bad for recording sexy time.

It will highlight every pore, every vein, every wrinkle on your nutsack.

These outtakes where the flash didn't go off are also AI generated.

I like this spooky dutch angle one.

I was just starting to learn flash and I didn't have all the equipment I needed. Since corgis are quite short, I had to put the lighting on the ground. The off camera flash was on a tipped over lightstand with a shoot-through umbrella to diffuse the light.

But I had no wireless triggers. And the only other way to trigger a flash, is with another flash. So I used the on-camera pop up flash to trigger the main flash.

But I had two issues.

First, I did not want that dinky on camera flash affecting my picture.

Second, triggering a flash with a flash is best done indoors. The flash will bounce all around the room and eventually hit the sensor so the main flash triggers. When you are outdoors, there is no bouncing.

SO... I took a little handheld makeup mirror and angled it toward my main flash. This blocked the dinky pop up flash and sent the beam of light towards the main flash to trigger it.

I was lying on the wet morning grass, holding a camera in one hand, a mirror in the other, trying to aim the mirror exactly toward the main flash, making crazy noises to get Otis's attention, and trying to get the focus point on his face so I didn't get a blurry photo. Also, Otis was much more interested in sniffing things than posing for a photo.

Here is an overhead view that might help explain.

I await all of your comments saying my amazing drawring is clearly AI generated.

Only 30% of the time did the flash actually go off. Aiming the mirror was tricky and I was doing like 8 things at once. I wasn't even sure I got the photo I wanted. But when I came back to the computer there was one that stood out and it is one of my favorites I've ever taken.

It was the best combination of monumental effort, great discomfort, perfect foggy sunrise light, and just pure luck.

Unfortunately, people like me who use advanced sculpting light techniques are getting accused of using AI more and more. Not really sure what to do about it—other than show the 30 awful photos it took to get the good one.

My 80s sunglasses photo and spoon photo get called out the most.

But it's just good old fashioned gradient lighting which has been used in product photography since the days of film.

@ironic-dysgraphia

Most of my photos with artificial light added would be considered "unmotivated lighting." I think that is the term you were looking for.

The short explanation is that motivated lighting always has a logical source. Like the sun or a window or a lamp off to the side.

That doesn't mean there are no lighting shenanigans used.

The overhead office-style fluorescent lights depicted in this scene were actually powerful diffused light bars that were much closer to the actors. They replaced the ceiling in post with more traiditioinal looking lights. So the lighting was still very crafted—but it has a logic and realism that doesn't set off alarm bells in your brain saying, "Where is the light coming from?"

Unmotivated lighting is the opposite. It's crafted, artificial light that doesn't need to make sense. It just has to achieve the aesthetic goal of the artist.

All studio lighting is unmotivated. I just re-edited this old photo of my dad.

There is no room in the world where he could have sat down and had perfectly sculpted light hitting his face. I intentionally directed the light to accentuate his features and capture the best, most idealized version of what he looked like.

Coincidentally I just wrote a post about motivated lighting in films.

Weirdly, I expressed a preference for motivated lighting in movies with a realism-based aesthetic and a lot of people disagreed. They said that the lighting comes from the same place as the music and that you just have to suspend your disbelief.

(Personally I think that is a bad analogy because music is *very* motivated by the emotional vibe. I would say unmotivated lighting in movies comes from the same place as women's apocalypse makeup.)

But I *love* unmotivated lighting in still photography. I love crafting an image and creating it in a fantasy realm where perfect, beautiful, sculpting light can come from anywhere. I want the most idyllic lighting possible.

It's the only way I could make fingernail clippers look beautiful.

And now people are saying unmotivated lighting looks like AI or CGI and isn't authentic. Even though this aesthetic was created before computers were invented and the tools of post-capture manipulation were done in a darkroom.

I'm fairly certain this is because AI does not have a great understanding of motivated lighting. It never thinks about where the light is coming from so it almost always creates images where the lighting comes from a fantasy realm. And now people are heavily associating unmotivated lighting with AI, even if it is a subconscious observation.

I think at this point in time, people are yearning for authenticity. We know so much of our imagery is heavily manipulated for nefarious purposes. Beauty advertising with retouched skin like porcelain dolls and liquified torsos that don't leave space for vital organs. Every fast food ad shows the perfect juicy hamburger because they paid a food stylist $500/hour to perfectly cook and arrange things.

But fast food workers are not food stylists and your burger isn't going to have perfect lettuce and a non-smooshed bun.

(Before you reply with urban legends about food styling, they don't use fake materials. They are required to use the actual ingredients. Those myths came from movie prop masters who needed to maintain the look of food during hours of shooting.)

I think AI just turned our uncomfortable relationship with unrealistic imagery up to 11.

It's a little depressing for me because I love to use light as my artistic medium. I say I am a photographer, but my passion is more focused on lighting.

And I often incorporate my other passion, which is image manipulation. I sometimes add another layer of unreality to my images by artistically editing them.

This is days of work.

I worked very hard for the in-camera image. Dragging a heavy chair and lighting equipment into a field on a hot summer day was not easy for me.

But I also worked very hard on the edit. The RAW file is overexposed, but once I corrected that, the lighting on him and the grass is actually what I captured. I hid a flash in the lampshade and lit him with my big 7 foot umbrella off to the right.

I could have shot this at night, but my area has so much light pollution, I would never have achieved the sky I wanted in my head. So I took the photo knowing I'd replace the sky later.

I like crafting images. I like picturing something in my head and then trying to manifest it in a photo.

I get why people are starting to prefer more natural looking images. I understand why they are currently preferring everything to be captured as it was in the moment. I know why they disparage the amazing work of CG artists and demand that every movie use only practical effects.

When everything is fake, a small dose of reality feels special.

But I see my photography more like a drawing or a painting. Light is my paintbrush and I am just trying to manifest my imagination into an image. I don't claim I don't use artificial light. I never say anything is "straight out of camera." I am very open about my use of Photoshop. If I were able to leave my house and go to more beautiful places, perhaps I would take a more motivated approach.

I mean, I love when the world is just beautiful all on its own and all I have to do is competently pick settings on my camera.

But I enjoy my artistic process and while some of my images may not be realistic, I think my artistry is always authentic.

I don't need every person to like every one of my photos. But when I work hard on a photo and there is clear talent and skill involved, I'm hoping people will still acknowledge that. I hope they will respect the effort and artistry involved.

I didn't enjoy the show Breaking Bad. I disliked all of the characters and the story just depressed me more and more as I watched it. But I still think it is an amazing show created by talented artists. I can acknowledge the monumental artistic achievement even if it wasn't my cup of tea.